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Life and Times of an itinerant slacker in Sacramento. Thrills, Spills Galore coming soon. Not to mention lots of opinions.

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Monday, May 04, 2009

No Smokee?, Get Tickee, You Fired!

Moa sez, "smoke more cigarettes, the revolution depends on it. Non-smoking counter-revolutionaries will be dealt with severely."

Well, now I've seen it all. Only a workers socialist paradise sponsored by an unregulated oligopoly (or visa versa, who the hell knows what those inscrutable nuts are up to now?) could come up with something as bassackwards as a policy to force public employees to smoke more. At first I thought this was a hoax, but even the moa-ist red kommie kontrolled Shanghai Daily admits this policy designed by the Keystone Kopps of economic development policy:

"The law orders all local government departments, organizations, service centers and corporations to consume at least 23,000 cartons of cigarettes this year - 400 cartons for most departments and corporations and 140 cartons for each school."

140 CARTONS FOR EACH SCHOOL? C'mon, even the most godless of commies wouldn't force innocent youth and their dedicated teachers to smoke their high tar kommunist Kancer sticks? That must be a typo, right? Next thing you know, they'll put poison in their peoples' baby formula. Inconceivable!

Yes Virginia, Chinese Communists are forcing their teachers to smoke and distribute cigarettes. In their own party controlled pink paper, they say,

"A monthly work plan has to be produced by each organization listing the consumption rate and the government will check these figures. Departments failing to make the quota will have their budgets cut, according to the government. Organizations not using government-approved cigarettes will be fined 1,000 yuan. Zhangtiansi Middle School has already found itself in trouble."

For comparison, a typical teacher's monthly pay is about 140 yuan.

Never forget,"First Rule ... Don't talk to commies"

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

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I must enjoy shouting into a vacuum, but I think about getting my act together one of these days. My mom says I am very handsome and intelligent.

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