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Life and Times of an itinerant slacker in Sacramento. Thrills, Spills Galore coming soon. Not to mention lots of opinions.

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Monday, July 31, 2006

Readers Write - Introducing the Reverse Fibonacci

A reader sent me the following two Fibonacci haikus. Note the introduction of the “reverse fib” structure.

I
wait
to leave
stark boring
cubicle of doom.
Cool beer, warm circle of friends - soon.
Time creeps too slowly.
I dread each
minute
left
here.

The next work is attributed to my reader’s friend who will remain anonymous, because he recently changed his first name. I have not seen him since the change, and I can’t remember his new name (my apologies to Mr H).

I
work
because
so far no
lottery ticket
with winning numbers has been found
in my possession.
How unfair.
I grieve
for
me.


“Dear Reader”, as Miss Manners and English students in Korea say, provided the first seven lines of the next haiku, and I provided the rest.

It
is
hot here
and I must
rehydrate often
or I melt like warm Velveeta
on the dashboard of a pickup in a Walmart lot
an “Inconvenient Truth” melts me,
my brain, an ice cube,
liquid in
the hot
sun’s
rays.

That’s
My
Story
and I am
sticking
to
it.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Elizabethan Hit Parade

I must be a trend setter.

Early music is becoming trendy for superannuated British pop stars! All of a sudden, we are seeing Sting and Elvis Costello recording John Dowland, trying to convince everyone that they were into early music “first”. The Guardian and The Independent have both recently had articles on this new 300 year old trend. In the Guardian’s words, “Party like it’s 1599”.

These Brits are obsessed with John Dowland, probably the first British songwriter, although he may have been actually Irish. No one is really sure.

Back in this State Capitol, I am waiting for the pleasures and perils of fame to arrive. I expect my group’s (Sine Nomine’s) popularity to skyrocket, possibly to the stellar realm where we might even be able to raise an audience without playing at other peoples’ church services. When we attract more than five unrelated individuals, then I’ll know we’ve turned the corner. But don’t worry, I’ll always remember the little people.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Another Fibanocci Haiku

Oh
to
not be
working now.
Life in my timeframe.
I move at a leisurely pace.
Peaceful work at worthwhile tasks brings happiness to me.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

So Ends Another Chapter in the History of Snivelization

I need to write here more often.

I am finding myself in a place where I have to start actually thinking once again about where or what I want for my place in this world. My current work appears to be drying up, and the only alternative I have found to date will not be suitable due to an unmanageable commute. The few commutes I have made for interviews have been exhausting for me, and although they are a high quality outfit, their mission and values are far out of line with mine. That is a recipe for unhappiness and despondency if I have ever seen one. I have to face up to the reality that I am not back to full strength. I cannot force myself to give up everything I do outside of work just to be employed. It is the whacky stuff I do like playing in the Concert Band and my recorder group that make my life good. I may be heading for a period sans income des big bucks. Maybe I can use this time creatively.

Although I haven’t been officially sent packing from the current very long temporary job, it appears the project is completed, and there isn’t much to do. That’s OK, I can use some time off this week. They may in time come up with another project, it’s hard to tell what’s in the plans given the relatively little communication I get. Therefore, I may find I have more time for blogging in the near future, as well as visiting the parents and my only reader (you know who you are) sometime in the next few months. I might want to wait a while until the weather in Wisconsin is nicer.

I can use this time to get into better shape. I spruced up my bicycle over the July 4th weekend, so we (the bike and I) are ready to go. I am thinking of putting at least a few miles on the American River Parkway tomorrow morning. That is a great place to go and I have missed it while working. I can also use my health club membership that I haven’t used for months. I may try to get a fuller schedule of math students next fall as well. The tutoring business has been pretty slow this summer, a lot of people have purchased tutoring franchises in the last year. I suspect most of them will be out of the business within the next 4 to 6 months. There just isn’t enough money in this to amortize a franchise fee, pay for rent, insurance and supplies, and provide the kind of income franchisees usually expect. The place I tutor has been in business for 20 years, and the owner (who, by the way, is a pretty cool guy) expects to stay in the business. This doesn’t pay a lot, but the work is enjoyable and pretty easy if you remember everything you learned in high school.

In the words of my slacker hero, Ernie Zelinski, “Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.”

That’s my story a and I’m sticking to it.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

My New Neighbor is a Guatemalan Demigod

Maximon has moved next door! He is a demanding god, popular in rural Guatemala. Read about Maximon here.It is important to spell his name correctly, or else on google you will find out all about maximan, an herbal male enhancement product. His name is pronounced “moshymun” in English phonetics.

Maximon demanded we provide fireworks in his honor on July 1. We and our mildly insane neighbors had a great time. You can see how happy this all made Maximon. Maximon was pleased, so life in the neighborhood can go on without the wrath of an angry god. Maximon watched the fireworks from his garage. As you can see from the picture, Maximon likes to be surrounded by women more than men. He granted me this audience since I made him gazpacho. I am the only guy in five houses in a row along our street. I am glad maximon appears to be adopting well to his new country.

Here's Maximon enjoying the fireworks.

My neighbor took an extended trip to Guatemala last year, and Maximon came home with her. Life around here has never been quite the same since. Personally, I credit Sacramento’s relatively mild summer weather to the traditional gifts of liquor and cigarettes we have presented to placate our local god. We must keep Maximon happy, and he will keep us happy, as my neighbor tells it.

Kathleen has a coworker from Guatamala whom we have introduced to maximon. We were a little hesitant at first, but fortunately they (coworker and husband) got a real kick out of him. On their last visit to Guatamala, they came back with candles for maximon. You can see the candles in tall glasses in front of my knees.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.


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I must enjoy shouting into a vacuum, but I think about getting my act together one of these days. My mom says I am very handsome and intelligent.

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