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Life and Times of an itinerant slacker in Sacramento. Thrills, Spills Galore coming soon. Not to mention lots of opinions.

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Friday, October 31, 2008

Rain, and Time to Complain about the Government

It rained last night! We haven’t seen more than a drizzle since January, which is unusual even for Sacramento. We usually expect to get less than ¼ inch of rain in total from May through September, but January and February are usually wet months. Although the official stats show rainfall under ¼ inch yesterday, it seemed like a deluge. It’s easy to get accustomed to life without rain.

We are forecast for rain on and off through Monday, with the most rain expected Saturday and Sunday (of course). Snow above 5,000 feet is expected for the Sierras.

Man O Manischewitz, the roads were slippery last night. There’s nothing like a little water sprinkled on none months worth of leaked oil to make driving more fun. I actually skidded away from a red light. The cop in the car in the next lane got a good laugh out of it. I could see him laughing in the light of the computer screen.

It looks like the rain will stop just in time for Election Day, so the water-soluble block will be well represented at the polls. As of late, I have more or less tuned out campaign news. At this point, IMHO, both candidates are sounding like fools. I hope the winner wises up after the election. The rhetoric of late brings out the small but present grain of old-fashioned conservatism from deep within the dark recesses of my mind. I hear both candidates promising they will make the economy sound; McCain promises he will bring the domestic automobile industry back to its former position of global dominance (Dude, WTF?),while Obama claims he will re-invigorate the economy by creating cool new industries like better energy. Last time I checked, presidents don’t run industries. For all our sakes, I hope these guys don’t believe the basura they are spewing. Maybe the rigors of the campaign trail have stressed them beyond the point of rationality.

My somewhat conservative tiny grain causes me to worry when people are willing to accept that he Government will make a great economy for us. I believe that Government has a vital role to play in solving the problems that we are facing these days. However, I do not believe that the Government can provide us (We The People, WTP) with solutions to the social and economic problems we need to face in the next several years. In my (admittedly warped) view of the world, I see Government as a lens that focuses the energies of the nation in constructive ways. I don’t see the Government producing prosperity through its programs and actions. Rather, I see Government as an agent that can, when enlightened, steer the ship in a way that WTP’s efforts contribute toward a desirable future.

I guess this means my universe doesn’t grant free lunches (hey, NFL = No Free Lunches, cool). In my gimlet eyes, the approaches currently in action and consideration for getting us out of this economic hole are like someone stuck in a hole digging deeper. I have a hard time believing that increasing debt is the best way to resolve a debt crisis, particularly when debt is used to spend money in a way that won’t directly impact the cause of our most immediate credit crisis, upside down mortgages, or increase productivity.

Now that I’ve given my opinion about what isn’t the right answer, I am sorry to admit I don’t have a better answer beyond the advice that starting another war and/or continuing our unimaginable level of military spending will probably not help.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Everything is All My Fault - A Distopic Near Future



I Promise to do my duty for My Country. This will not happen.
My Fellow Americans,please join me in my solemn oath.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Monday, October 27, 2008

All This and Larry Flint,Too Aaarrrggghhhhhh!

Oh My Gayd, Oh My Gaud, Oh My Gaud!

The river of bullshit never stops. Especially on this blog.

The Script to Larry Flint’s soon-to-be-released Who’s Nailin Palin has surreptitiously found its way on to the internet. When I first saw this script, I had no idea what I was looking at.

Unfortunately, this appears to be more than the usual internet hoax. The Guardian is carrying the story as well. Limp Uncle Larry released a one minute preview, however Youtube has removed it. So sorry guys, this still is all you get to see for now.



I read a few pages of the script, and rest assured, it sucks, in every meaning of the word.

From looking at some other articles, I think a good rule to go by is to never piss off Larry Flint. Seriously, don’t even let your sleazy friends piss this guy off.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

The Lighter Side of Identity Politics

Baraech O'Bamaugh is the most Irish Presidential candidate since JFK! This musical explanation is a hoot!



That settles it for my family. K can identify with the Irishness,and I can still identify with the midwestern mom thing,not to mention the skinny thing.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Opie Talks About Hope & Courage

Ron Opie Tailer Richie Cunningham Howard is my new hero.

See more Ron Howard videos at Funny or Die


I found the Andy and Opie segment has a message we don't hear clearly enough from our own so-called leaders, that the future belongs to the courageous.

Nations whose actions are guided by their highest aspirations will act to realize those aspirations. Those guided by fear are doomed to realize all they fear.

It's your choice. Choose Life, Choose Hope.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Friday, October 24, 2008

The New Star Trek Movie - Gotta Dish

This film is an epic voyage that will suck where no movie has sucked before.

Here's the evidence.



I can't put my finger on it,but something about this still tells me to wait until it is available on Netflix, buy a sixpack,and laugh our asses off while we create campy dialogue. Is it just me, or does Captain Kirk look like he walked off the set of American Idol?

Further, the Official Trailer tantalizes us with images of guys doing arc welds. Does using 1930s manual welding technology on the hull of a vessel that will soon travel faster than the speed of light really make sense? This is perhaps an indication of the amount of thought that went into this enterprize (get the pun,huh, huh?). What is it about Science Fiction movies that bring out the morons?

Speaking of Kap'n Kirk,check out this performance by Shatner,who appears to be taking up the role of the guy who never gets invited anywhere (like to appear in this movie). After listening to this, I think I know why.



Captain's log,Stardate 112408, That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Local Sports Pandering & Other Moronics

I am sick to the gills of the odor of donkey and elephant poo. Baseball is the only thing I've watched on the glass teat for a coupleof weaks, but I'm reaching my limit. The Nation Wide Chowderhead Density (NWCD)has gone far beyond the safety limits. Warning, this country is not safe to operate under current conditions.

John Stuart did this great bit about the lowest of the low - both canpaigns are pandering to local sports fans. They all say GO PHILLIES, GO RAYS. I say,
Why don't you all GO FISHING and leave the rest of us alone
.




On an unrelated note, I must confess that my complete,100% antagonism topward Gov Palin has been shaken. I have fallen to the depths of identity politics. Turns out both of us are crappy woodwind players! Watch Sarah play Come-to-Jesus-in-halfnotes, complete with crappy intonation. WARNING - do not view the following video on an empty stomach.



That's my story, and I'm sticking to it. GO (insert local team name here)!!!!!!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

The Consistent Wisdom of Experience

Another example John McCain's brilliant and experienced insight.



Do as I say,not as I do,sez the Senator. Better yet,sign on a peabrained hottie to do it for you.

That's my stroy and I'm sticking to it.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Foreigners are Taking Jobs From Americans

Right here in Sacramento! I have proof!

Obama Pictures and McCain Pictures
see Sarah Palin pictures

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Staying at the Parents

If psychological regression is your thing, nothng's better better than a solo visit to your parents. It'll take thirty years off your emotional maturity in the wink of a teenage zit encrusted eye.

Anyway, Madison seems to be doing quite well without my presence. The parents live a couple of blocks from the house I owned here in the eighties. The house looks great, the new owners have added a new roof and done a great paint Job.

When I visit, I try to take a long walk at Picnic point every weekday morning. The fall colors are showing right now, so I picked the right time to visit. This link is a cool view of the area: http://lakeshorepreserve.wisc.edu/imap/LakeshoreNaturePreserve.html

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

A Message to Wall Street

Sometimes brevity is wisdom.




That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Saturday, October 04, 2008

The Great Schlep

Well, it turns out my upcoming visit with the parents is aligned with a great political event. This video cracked me up. It's well worth watching.



Here's my response:

Oy vey,

Such a girl, a real sheyne, as pretty as any shiksa out there, then, oy gevalt, she opens up such a mouth on her, like some kind of gonnif! Such a foul mouth gets my schpilkus worked up. (Have I told you how my schpilkus is lately? Could be better, Oy, it should happen to that Iranian momzer,calls himself President, and forgets to use his necktie, such a Schlemeel!)

The Good Lord bless her loving Bubby and Zeda, she is not such a good girl making threats for her Bubby and Zeda.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Not to worry,I'll just sit here in the dark.

Friday, October 03, 2008

Now I Understand It

It was The Illuminati all along. Here's the proof.






That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Gimme a trillion dollars now,dammit!

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Welcome to October

What better way to start the month of all hallows than an interview with India's Monkey Man.





Nothing captures the halloween spirit better than a guy crawling around in orange shorts,with a mask and tail. I bet he'd scare even more monkeys if someone bought him a Darth Cheney mask.

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I must enjoy shouting into a vacuum, but I think about getting my act together one of these days. My mom says I am very handsome and intelligent.

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