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Life and Times of an itinerant slacker in Sacramento. Thrills, Spills Galore coming soon. Not to mention lots of opinions.

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Wednesday, July 05, 2006

My New Neighbor is a Guatemalan Demigod

Maximon has moved next door! He is a demanding god, popular in rural Guatemala. Read about Maximon here.It is important to spell his name correctly, or else on google you will find out all about maximan, an herbal male enhancement product. His name is pronounced “moshymun” in English phonetics.

Maximon demanded we provide fireworks in his honor on July 1. We and our mildly insane neighbors had a great time. You can see how happy this all made Maximon. Maximon was pleased, so life in the neighborhood can go on without the wrath of an angry god. Maximon watched the fireworks from his garage. As you can see from the picture, Maximon likes to be surrounded by women more than men. He granted me this audience since I made him gazpacho. I am the only guy in five houses in a row along our street. I am glad maximon appears to be adopting well to his new country.

Here's Maximon enjoying the fireworks.

My neighbor took an extended trip to Guatemala last year, and Maximon came home with her. Life around here has never been quite the same since. Personally, I credit Sacramento’s relatively mild summer weather to the traditional gifts of liquor and cigarettes we have presented to placate our local god. We must keep Maximon happy, and he will keep us happy, as my neighbor tells it.

Kathleen has a coworker from Guatamala whom we have introduced to maximon. We were a little hesitant at first, but fortunately they (coworker and husband) got a real kick out of him. On their last visit to Guatamala, they came back with candles for maximon. You can see the candles in tall glasses in front of my knees.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.


Anonymous said...

I checked on Maximon using the URL you provided. It had this interesting piece of information:
Maximon symbolizes chthonic male sexual power. As an "opener of the way," his feast day falls at the onset of the fertile rainy season, but except for that day, his darker aspect leads his devotees to carefully guard his visage from public view, for fear that his sexuality may run rampant.

I noticed that you are not following the instructions to keep his visage guarded from public view, and in fact have actually published his picture on your web site. Hmmm... is there a connection to this and why you are the only man on your street? What dark and dastardly deeds are going on in Sacramento?


Anonymous said...

Hi Steve,
I found my way here----------------> as you posted the link on a comment left on OS on a post by Ash.

No cauliflowers here. Hmmm?


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