Nicked from the Narthex

A dark and foggy night in Sacramento. An apparently innocent choir concert at a Catholic church in Sacramento’s south side. My job, sell tickets, sell CDs, watch the money watch the CDs, listen to the concert. Pretty cushy gig, so I thought.

Sold some tickets, the concert started. I gathered the cash boxes and sat in the back row pew of the church to get hip to the traditional Catholic church music groove that only Schola Cantorum (www.scholacantorum.com) can bring. Those cats in black are the word in Gregorian hip. I left the unsold CDs displayed on tables in the narthex(church lobby), so that I could lay them on the grooving audience as they leave after the concert. The pews are separated from the narthex by a wall with several transparent glass doors. Everything was coming up roses.

During the concert, some folks left between songs. I guess they were either overfilled with the spirit or just didn’t dig it enough to stay. One couple, while leaving in the middle of a song, stopped to look at the CDs for a few seconds, and then the male member picked up a CD and walked out. In this case, I do mean male member.

I watched this from the pew, through the glass doors. Totally fell out of the Schola groove. I had to make a quick decision: I could (1) Run out and chop block the guy and wrestle the CD from his grasping kleptomaniac claws, or (2) run out and yell at the at the thief, “hey you piece of &^$#, give me back my CD, or (3) calmly follow the scum outside, and and ask if he would like some noodles or canned corn from the food pantry donations, or (4) do nothing.

Options (1) and (3) would likely end with me getting punched, and option(2) would sound bad on the concert recording. So, Option (4) was my path. Besides, I wasn't sold on having a punchfest in a church.

Had fun telling the schola-ites my story after the concert, and it’s fun writing this account. Well worth the cost of someone else’s CD.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.