The "papa-ratzi"

I should correct my previous report about Hanginsac’s condemnation. I incorrectly referred to Benedict the over-10-served as Cardinal Ratzo. I stand corrected. The updated name is Pope Bennie D. Rat. I watched his election and its immediate festivities on TV this week, as the white smoke emerged, and everybody in St Peter’s Square waited and stirred with excitement. I shared with the audience the disappointment of seeing the most obvious and nearly most conservative candidate elected. I am particularly not amused by his previous statements that all those who accuse priests of molestation are part of an anti-Catholic conspiracy. That is the kind of weird-ass thinking I expect from a guy who spent his adolescence wearing a brown shirt and swastika armband. Oh, but not to worry, news reports abound to reassure us that he was only a snotty little Nazi, rather than a snotty and enthusiastic little Nazi.

In any event, I personally don’t expect Bennie to stay around long enough to do very much. To those liberal Catholics, my wife included, who were fantasizing about a new and visionary pope bringing a return of liberation theology, and a role for women in the church beyond handmaidens to the great fathers, I say, “Get real, what were you expecting? Suck it up, or give up and become Episcopal Unitarian Quakers or something.”

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.