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Life and Times of an itinerant slacker in Sacramento. Thrills, Spills Galore coming soon. Not to mention lots of opinions.

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Monday, April 18, 2005

Hanginsac Condemned by Leading Church

Dateline Vatican City. . .

Cardinal Joseph “Ratzo” Ratzinger has broken the traditional silence of the Papal Conclave to announce, that as Prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, hangininsac is official condemned as containing teachings not in accordance with church doctrine. Further, the hangin guy is banned from teaching theology.

In a short explanation of his decision, Cardinal Ratzo stated, “First, I have to read crap like this, then I don’t even get elected on the first ballot. How fair is that? If that heretic Galileo had access to the internet, he’d probably have written drivel no better than this. The next thing you know, these internet heretics will spout even more ridiculous heresies. Hell, I bet that hangin guy doesn’t even believe in literal transubstantiation. If I had my way, that guy would be relaxing on the rack as we speak, enjoying a hot oil beverage. You know, they don’t call me the Ayatollah of Rome for nuttin!”

Well, what can I say? First, I am delighted to see that this blog has found reader number 8. Second, I guess I will have to cancel my plans to teach Catholic Theology. And I was just writing my thesis entitled, “Baby Jesus sheds a tear every time a little boy tattles.”

Thet's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

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I must enjoy shouting into a vacuum, but I think about getting my act together one of these days. My mom says I am very handsome and intelligent.

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