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Life and Times of an itinerant slacker in Sacramento. Thrills, Spills Galore coming soon. Not to mention lots of opinions.

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Tuesday, April 13, 2010

KFC Double Down Update

As threatened, KFC released the Double down on the general public yesterday.

I have news updates for all you Hangininsac bacon cheese chickenistas out there:

Update Number 1:

I will probably never eat one of these (probably would make me spew), so we need to rely on other culinary experts' reviews.

Who would be better than the staff of everybody's favorate NPR quiz show,Wait Wait Don'tTell Me.

A summary of WWD's review:

The sandwich was pretty good, but they mourn the death of bread. "It's lonely without bread,it's a lonely sandwich."

"It's really a triumph of nature. When they're alive, a chicken never gets to have a pork inside of it."

"I shouldn't be typing while eating this. My keyboard is really shiny."

Update Number 2:What KFC Doesn't want you to know

The nutrition guide on KFC's website lists the double down (standard model with fried breasts)at 540 calories.

However, the same document lists fried original recipe breasts at 320 calories each.

I smell a great big Kentucky Fried rat here.

I suspect the double down doesn't really provide all the goodness of two KFC fried breasts. Alas. Or else, the Colonel's telling whoppers. If we can't trust the Colonel,who can we trust?

We have:

two fried breasts = 640 calories

Double down (standard fried model)= 540 calories

Since the double down has two fried breasts, bacon and cheese, this doesn't seem possible. I suspect the bread-replacement items here are really each paltry wimpy pantywaist princess cut half breasts, not virile, manly finger lickin' good whole breasts (BTW, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, get over it).

That's just not right, this is not a wholesome southern and midwestern sandwich.

If you're still famished after the wimpy double down, I recommend KFC's sides, especially the mashed taters and cole slaw.

Update Number 3:

For those of you sheeple who don't fear the Colonel's hegemony, let your own eyes and the British press inform you.

Here's the Colonel leading his multinational evil minions in his lair, known to the rest of us as the United Nations General Assembly.

Looks pretty good for a dead guy,eh?

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.


Savannah Devilles said...

I would spew too hahaha

Savannah Devilles said...

I would spew too.:)

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I must enjoy shouting into a vacuum, but I think about getting my act together one of these days. My mom says I am very handsome and intelligent.

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