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Life and Times of an itinerant slacker in Sacramento. Thrills, Spills Galore coming soon. Not to mention lots of opinions.

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Monday, October 05, 2009

Blogging the Brett Bowl

20 minutes till kickoff. . 5:10 PM PDT. Listening to game coverage on AM radio, hearing Boomer Esiasen interview Mike Ditka, these guys make ESPN Sports Center sound like Shakespeare. More commercials, Holy Hominy Grits, this station has a lot of adds for "get out of debt, we'll help with your tax problems" operators. I am surely listening to this game 9in the company of life's winners.
Time to tune out and do a jigsaw puzzle, they're playing the same Farve interview again. "Both teams want to win". Gee, that's amazing. Time to "tune out" until kickoff.

5:30PM. Finally, the game is about to start. Nope, a break for a PSA from the WNBA and the Cancer Industrial Complex. I like the latest quote from Shitmydadsays; "Does anyone your age know how to comb their fucking hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their head and started fucking." I get a kick out of Justin's dad.

5:37 and still commercials, crap, when does the game start. Don't they know I have to leave for band practice before 7:00?

When will they stop talking about Favre?

Finally Packers return the kickoff to the 25 yd line. I hope the coin toss won't be tonight's biggest victory. Running first down, 2nd and 10. Effit. Screen for a first down! HOOHAH! Spread that defensive line. Crap, holding, how can the offensive line get beaten so badly already?
Pass for 2 yards on 2nd and 15, WTF?

Nice short pass play, 3rd and 2. False Start? CRAP!!!!!!!! Two offensive line penalties already.
Whew, another first down. They seem to be holding off the blitz so far!

Is Driver getting Alligator Arms? A crummy 3 yard run, now third and 7. . .great quick hit pass!
FUMBLE - SHIT!!!!!!! No protection. . . Two penalties on the first possession and then this. Now wasting a time out on the review, Doesn't McCarthy know I can only listen until 7:00? So rude! No way will this one be reversed.

Here comes precious Brett and the Viqueens. Peterson starts with a 7 yard rush. First two plays, the Packer's defensive line is not looking good. Every play to Peterson for a gain. The Packers have to seize the line of scrimmage. Short pass for 16 yards. If the Pack's line can't do better, I don't know. TAUNTING PENALTY Effing Moron.

The Vikings are moving like it's a walk in the park. Down to the Packers' 11 yd line.

Fourth and inches. They'll probably run Peterson right at the Packers weak line. Crap. You can't win with a crappy line.

Run to the 1 yard line. The Packers aren't a factor in the game yet. Short touchdown pass.

I think it's "GAME OVER, MAN", done with the Blog.

YES! The line blocked and teh Vikings' secondary blew the coverage! TIE GAME! Let's hope the defense wakes up. This is a bipolar game.

We are seeing the idiot Favre of the old days. Can Can possession (1,2,3, kick). Man, it looks like a different Packers offense (Let's hope they hold on to the pig this time) End of first quarter.

Second quarter, first play, sack, crap. 2nd and 17, run for 6 yds, 3rd and 11. 4th and 2, thanks to Driver. Going for it! Freak ricochet catch for a first down. Crap Rodger's first interception. He's trying to force the ball. At least the interception brought the ball near the 20 yd line.

Back to Favre and Peterson. . .A big pass for 24 yards to Rice. I remember the Pack's corners getting owned by another Rice. Hah, Farve had forever to pass, Woodson got beat so bad he had to hold the receiver, first down. Vikings on the 30 yd line. Packers have held the Vikings for 2 downs. Third and looooong. Dang, Farve passes his way out of it again. Vikings are at the 13 yard line. If the Packers can't stop this drive, I think it's just about time to say "good night nurse". They have to get to the QB. Third and long means nothing if the QB gets all day to pass on 3rd down. Dammit, touchdown pass to Rice in the middle. Packers, how can you blitz and not get to the QB. Somebody gets open if the blitz doesn't get in the QB's face. Count the bodies, do the math. Time to go to band, I can
't take any more of this anyway.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I may be the only person in this whole football crazy state who didn't watch the game. Did check in briefly, twice, which was enough to see that the Pack were having their as-ses handed to them on a sling - a big purple sling.

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