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Life and Times of an itinerant slacker in Sacramento. Thrills, Spills Galore coming soon. Not to mention lots of opinions.

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Saturday, June 20, 2009

Make A Golem in Your SpareTime!

Fellow World Wide Zionist Conspirators, members of the New World Order, Black Helicopter Pilots and Illuminati (no trilateral commissioners need apply, that's so twentieth century):

Thanks to Temple Emanuel in San Jose's websight (BTW, I think my nephew had his Bar Mitzvah there), we now now how to make a golem.. This is too strange not to share.

"An initiate should not do it alone, but should always be accompanied by one or two colleagues. The Golem must be made of virgin soil, taken from a place where no man has ever dug. The soil must be kneaded with pure spring water, taken directly from the ground. If this water is placed in any kind of vessel, it can no longer be used. The people making the Golem must purify themselves totally before engaging in this activity, both physically and spiritually. While making the Golem, they must wear clean white vestments… One must not make any mistake or error in the pronunciation… no interruption whatsoever may occur."

Here's a picture of my golem. OK,OK it's just a statue in Prague. Or so they say it's a just a statue. I suggest any Czech Neo-nazis out there might want to think twice about their behaviour (y'know, Czech and re-Czech), with this guy hanging around.

Some additional instructions and a pretty strange side comment from the October/November 1999 Edition of the Jewish Magazine.

"Many people today say that although we can not create a golem on the level of Rabbi Yehuda Leow of Prague, still we have succeeded in creating a different form of golem. Rabbi Leow took a blob of earth, gave it form and introduced into it vitality, but with out intellectual abilities."

And now, the punchline:

"Many say that our educational system has duplicated Rabbi Leow's feat, by taking intelligent children and turning out blobs."

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

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I must enjoy shouting into a vacuum, but I think about getting my act together one of these days. My mom says I am very handsome and intelligent.

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