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Life and Times of an itinerant slacker in Sacramento. Thrills, Spills Galore coming soon. Not to mention lots of opinions.

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Thursday, June 04, 2009

Fearless Fosdicks Foil Food Fight

This weeks Flying Foods sighting is from Portage High School in Wisconsin.

The school's candyassed principal called in the local police when a couple of seniors started throwing yogurt around the lunchroom. It's always good to know your High School Principal knows how to scream like a bitch and push the panic button when it's time to put on her big girl panties and deal with it.

The food fight idiot - provocateurs stole the show,with these great interview quotes:

I really don't feel bad about it at all," Mitchell said. "(It) kind of was my idea. I don't really regret anything.""We already had all the yogurts, (then the) teacher walks up and my friend is like, 'Man, we can't do this.' And I was like, 'We got to do this. We already got all the stuff opened up,'" Mitchell said.

"(I) threw my milk. I picked it up, spilt it all over me, threw it," Mitchell said.

"We walked out of school in handcuffs and got a standing ovation from everyone in the school. It was pretty sweet," he said. "I think it was totally worth it."

The principal has refused to make a public statement for the TV news, however, she said in print; "her priority was to protect students from a so-called joke that could have turned violent, pooty pooty poot." (pooty pooty poot added by me)

"I don't think we overreacted. Basically, we just wanted to quell a disturbance before it gets out of hand," said Assistant Police Chief Kevin O'Neill. This is like a low IQ version of the "Minority Report", let's perfect our union by punishing people before crimes happen. To be fair to the cop, what can a cop do in a situation like that, once the panic-stricken, pantie-wetting principal called him to the scene.

IMHO the most striking thing about this story is the inaneness from all sides.

We must not forget in times like these that our precious rights are in danger. We must remain vigilant.

Was it Patrick Henry, or was it Soupy Sales who said, "When pies are outlawed, only outlaws will have pies". Aside - check out where Soupy pies Frank Sinatra about 10 seconds into the video! I can't believe he didn't end up in several hefty bags.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

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I must enjoy shouting into a vacuum, but I think about getting my act together one of these days. My mom says I am very handsome and intelligent.

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