The Writing is on the Natomas Subdivision

Newswire: A tornado strikes Sacramento on Presidents’ Day! Not much damage, but who has ever heard of a tornado in Northern California?

This strange happening requires some deeper examination, which your favorite blog will provide.

I have used the most advanced U S government approved faith based research to help my readers better understand this event.

Further research into the pattern the funnel cloud etched on the ground provided an amazing message. The experts missed this subtle meaning, because, unlike yours truly, they did not recognize the message etched into the Natomas plain is written in a rare variation of ancient Babylonian secretarial shorthand. God must have given me this unique knowledge during one of our many friendly one-on-one chats over coffee.

The writing was thus:

“I apologize for my tardiness. I meant to get this writing done for the wall of the great banquet for thousands called the inauguration. I had a little writer’s block, so sue me. Here’s my point: Your father, GeorgeHWchudnezzar, had the greatest glory and majesty bestowed upon him. But when he grew haughty and willful, speaking of a new world order, the Billandhillary arose from the realm of Arkansas to take from him his white abode and glory. He was banished to celebrity tennis tournaments for eight years, until he saw that truth and justice is most high and sovereign over the realm of men.

But you, GeorgeWshazzar, are likened to a pompous ass even though you know all this. You exalted yourself against the electorate of the people, scourged the sacred polls in the realm with the curse of Diebald, and spilled blood in the land of Babylon. You worshiped the idols of oil, profit and empire, and the perversion of torture. Justice you did not glorify. This is the prophecy that is inscribed: MORON, MORON, TUCHUS, UPYOURSW. Here is their meaning in the common tongue: MORON The days of your regime are numbered and will be brought to an end. TUCHUS You have been weighed and found to be a lightweight and a dumbass. UPYOURSW Your regime has been dissolved and will be given to those likened unto the liberal Obamites.

Yeah, Verily. The word of the blog.

If you buy this, I’ve got a great Social Security reform I’d like to show you.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.