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Life and Times of an itinerant slacker in Sacramento. Thrills, Spills Galore coming soon. Not to mention lots of opinions.

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Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Back to Old Style Humor?

I found a bunch of jokes on The Simple Living Network's discussion Forums.

Heeeeeeere we Go!

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive....so, I took her to a gas station......
And that is when the fight started....

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her The beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream. And that's when the fight started....

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security . The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I
looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.. So I opened my shirt revealing my cur ly silver hair. She said, That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application . When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.
And that's when the fight started.....

My husband and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table. My husband asked, 'Do you know him?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' says my husband, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And that's when the fight started....

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!' So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'
And that's when the fight started.........


I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.' He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?' 'Nah, she can order for herself.'
And that's how the fight started.


What amazed me is that although these jokes sound like they com from the 1950s,from a Henny Youngman type of comic, I thought they were mildly funny. Oy Vey!

I don't know where these jokes started, but if I've seen them, they have probably been all over the intertubes by now. Old jokes don't die, they don't even fade away, deal with it.

That's mys story and I'm sticking to it.

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I must enjoy shouting into a vacuum, but I think about getting my act together one of these days. My mom says I am very handsome and intelligent.

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