We Live in an An Age of Miracles and Wonders

We really do.

Earlier this month both regular hangininsac readers learned that the age of cyberpunk has arrived.

Now, assisted by and relying on diligent and scrupulous reporting from Australia's Daily Telegraph, I can report to you that. . .

. . . "the Voyager 2 spacecraft may have been hijacked by aliens after sending back data messages NASA scientists can't decode."

I've worked all night, and I think I figured out most of the message.

Mxssagx From Your Lxadxr



Xarthlings, I will soon arrivx from thx Planxt Cxrxs. Hxxd my commandmxnts:

I am zxyxn,prxfxct of the Omxga quadrant and you shall havx no othxr law giving alixns bxforx mx. All humans shall hxrxtoforx sxrvx mx or facx dxath by nuggixs.

Thou shalt not takx my namx in vain. Though shalt takx by mouth, and no morx than four timxs xach day.

Thou shalt not witnxss falsx bxars by my namx, lxst thx bxar bx lxft witlxss. Furhtxr, though shalt always rxmembxr; bxttxr to bxar a grudgx than to grudgx a bxar.

Rxmxmbxr thx absinthx, and drink of it hxartily, for absinthx dost makx thx hxart grow foggixr.

Honor thy mothxr and fathxr, bxcausx I said so, that’s all thx rxason thou nxxdxst. Undxrstand?

Thou art not krill. Thou nxxdst not swim in polar sxas nor fxar whalxs.

Thou shall not commit adultxry, thosx who transgrxss this commandmxnt may bx forcxd to try a duxl, for what good is a commandmxnt without an anagram.

Though shall not Stxphxn Covxy, nor shall thou worship any falsx mxthod of sxlf hxlp. Thou shall not adhxrx to thx sxvxn practicxs of sucknxss.

Rxsistancx is futilx, you will bx assimilatxd.

Remember, you heard it here first.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. I think I have too much time on my hands.