The Gloucester Cheese Roll Results Are In!!!!!

This years Cooper's Hill Cheese Roll was celebrated on May 25. This is just too strange not to mention.

The Organizers' web sight includes a description of the event,which I quote:

At the command (given by the M.C.) of ........
'ONE to be ready!'
'Two to be steady!'
'Three to prepare!' .....
....... the guest 'roller' releases the cheese, which rolls down the hill at great speed,

The M.C. continues .....
....
and FOUR to be off!'

At this point the competitors hurl themselves down the slope after the cheese.
The first person to arrive at the foot of the hill wins the cheese.
Those who come second or third receive a small cash prize.

The slope has a gradient that is in places 1-in-2 and in others 1-in-1, its surface is very rough and uneven and it is almost impossible to remain on foot for the descent. Injuries incurred are usually minor and competitors (particularly the successful ones) enter again year after year.

If I said this myself, no one would believe me.

Here's what this melee looks like.






It amazes me how something as constipating as cheese can move that fast.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Chicken Soup

I have a friend who's ill with a serious digestive issue (already lost a lot of weight), and we are having some cool weather (lows in the high 50s and highs around 80 defrees F). This harmonic convergence can mean only one thing - It's time for chicken soup! The soup is simmering on the stove as I speak.

Although I don't really have a recipe, here's as close as I get.

Minimum Hassle Maximum Yum Chicken Soup

I start with a medium sized whole chicken (whole chickens are way cheaper than cut-up here).
Section the and rinse the chicken (remember to carefully clean everything after this mess).
Cover with a few inches of water in soup kettle.
Bring to boil and simmer about 45 minutes.
Remove the gross grey foam that floats on the surface.
Add a bunches of parsley carrots and celery and an union cut into big chunks.
Throw in a few bay leaves (I pull them off my tree).
Simmer this mess for 2 to 3 hours or more.

Remove the chicken and vegetables to a tray to cool, and strain the broth. Add salt to taste. I always end up adding than I'd have guessed I needed.

Pick the meat off the bones. Either store the meat seperately, of freeze with the broth. It's your choicce. Since I am not a boiled chicken or chicken salad fan, I give the meat back to the broth. It freezes well that way.

Let the broth cool in the refrigerator or freezer and skim off the fat. This step is important if the soup meant is for someone with a digestive problem. Fat doesn't digest easily. However, when I plan to use the soup with meat as the main course of winter meals, I leave some fat in the broth to make a hearty stewish soup when I add noodles or potatoes.

This should hold us until Gazpacho weather arrives.

So, what's the big deal about chicken soup anyway?

The way I view the world,we have two types of people in our lives; people who bring chicken soup when we're sick, and people who don't. At this point, I want to be on the soup-bringing side. While I am looking toward a summer of very little paid employment, that is one practice of being a useful person I can fulfill.

That's my story and have some chicken soup, it couldn't hurt!

Are We Not Men?

I just finished reading H G Wells' "Island of Dr Moreau." I enjoyed this short read. The book had far less melodrama than either of the movies it spawned,and was even stranger. Rather than a beastly revolt of beasts, everything simply fell apart without drama,without confrontation. It was a process of de-evolution.

When things were morepeaceful on the island, central to the lives of the beasts was the repeating of "the law":

Not to go on all-fours; that is the Law.
Are we not Men?
Not to suck up Drink; that is the Law.
Are we not Men?
Not to eat Fish or Flesh; that is the Law.
Are we not Men?
Not to claw the Bark of Trees; that is the Law.
Are we not Men?
Not to chase other Men; that is the Law.
Are we not Men?

Now,I ask you,"Are we not men"? Unfortunately, the answer to this deep and philosophical question is currently unavailable with sound, but the original epic and justifiably mostly ignored short film and recurring punck rock nioghtmare, The Truth About De-Evolution, is available in its silent version. You don't need to hear the music, the disturbing imagery tells the story. Actually, it's even creeepier without the music. Don't take my word for it, watch it yourself, same spud time, same spud station. If only the world had heeded DEVO's warning (whatever the hell that was) when there was still time. (calm down, I am not serious here)



In any case, The Island of Dr Moreau was a good read, recommended for a hot summer afternoon.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Jesse Ventura Disses Dick Cheney

I Quote Jesse "The Brain": "You give me a water board, Dick Cheney for one hour, and I'll make him confess to the Sharon Tate murders.", "He wouldn't go when it was time to go... Clearly he's a coward and now he's a chickenhawk."






You just can't make stuff like this up! I would love to see these two guys wrestle.

Health Care Reform - What Reform

Bill Moyer's article says what I have been thinking lately.

Health care reform to help Americans take care of themselves is somewhere between sick and dying. Health care reform to assure profits for the Medical Industrial Complex appears to be alive and well, although some members of the industry have been so pampered by generations of pliant regulation that they refuse even to go along with the scam non-reform that appears to be what the administration might call compromise.

Per usual, Paul Krugman is willing to share some facts, along with his opinions. Everybody else is just flinging poo.

At some point,We The People have to answer this question:

Does health care exist primarily to generate dependable profits for the Medical Industrial Complex, or to care for the health of We The People?

While we're at it,we might ask a more general question about institutions in our society,both private and public:

Do social institutions (Government,corporate and community) exist primarily to assist We The People in our pursuit of Life,Liberty and Happiness, do We The People exist to assure that social institutions are successful in meeting their goals, of Profit and/or Growth?

Another area where this question should be asked, but isn't (with the exception of crackpot Conservatives), is in bailout Nation. Is it really in We The People's Interests to shore up a bunch of private enterprises? The bank situation is too complex to figure out, but the auto industry is a little easier to fathom. Chrysler filed a plan with The Federal Government to keep operating with about 59,000 jobs in the U.S. To date,the Government has dumped about $8.34 Billion into Chrysler. That works out to about $14o,000 per job (Warning - I didn't do a lot of checking here). Perhaps that money would have been better spent directly supporting the affected families, rather than indirectly supporting 59,000 of We The People by temporarily propping up an enterprise that admittedly can't exist without a lot of taxpayer - provided largess.

I don't know whether supporting autoworkers families directly, or through propping up their employers is the best thing to do, but what I do known is that that question has not even been asked, because those in power believe We The People must support the institutions. Tote That barge, Lift That Bale!

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

They're Taking Over!

The kitties are taking over the house.

They started with establishing settlements on the comforter plateau.


Their next imperial land grab was surely targeted at disrupting the food supply.


Kinda funny the way Arthur looks like Bulwinkle, with that menorah coming out of his head. This is obviously a Zionist conspiracy. I will formally present my complaints to the United Nations sometime soon.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Geography of Unemployment

Looking at pain has never been this much fun.

Slate Magazine published this great interactive map of employment by county in the U. S. This is very cool. If you click on the green arrow, you'll see changes in the number of jobs by county from 2006 to the present. I like to look at change in the number of jobs rather than unemployment data, since Federal unemployment data understates unemployment by excluding anyone considered long-term unemployed. Intuitively, this makes as much sense as excluding those hospitalized from Flu statistics. Some rather quirky economists believe actual unemployment may be as high as twice the reported rates. No doubt the truth lies somewhere between the Gubmint and the quirkies. In any event, I know what I'm not doing on Monday morning.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

When Will all This Eschatology End?

I know, I know, it'll end at the end. I guess this is a koan worthy of the great masters.

If the 12/21/2012 isn't enough, now we have the Post Rapture Post Office to deal with.It looks like this guy is from near Madison,WI, I brilliantly deduced from the Cross Plains postmark on the logo. Figures.

The Testimonials on this sight are pretty fun. Here's my favorite:"It will become a very dangerous place, with roving bands of abortionists and homosexuals looking to kill your babies and redecorate your houses"

So far,mine eyes have not seen the glory of the coming of the Lord.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Cognative Dissonance Meets Moronic Convergence

While I wasn't paying attention, we started speeding toward the next wave of millenialism. The supposed end of time in the supposed Mayan Calendar is coming December 21, 2012. I sure hope Hanukkah comes early that year. It'd be so cool if we get Hanukkah but the world ends before Christmas. I would surely die laughing.

This article by Ron Rosenbaum published in today's edition of Slate.com was a great read, and a good laugh. Sometimes you gotta just love a snide skeptic.

Come for the soup, stay for the nuts.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Beware He Who Sobs Loudest

The New York Times Sunday Magazine had an article by one of their financial reporters who personally fell under the wheel of reckless mortgages. It's a long but good read.

The author is trying to convince us that his problems are typical, so he can rightfully cry, "boohoo, I'm a victim, although I was allowed to live beyond my means for years. BTW, now I wrote a book."

The Atlantic Magazine's blog decided to dig a little deeper (remember that quaint line of work we used to call journalism?). Well, it turns out his wife (whom he admits likes to shop at Saks) has a history of serial bankruptcy that dates well before this financial crisis. This is not a typical case. His problems were not caused by current conditions. The preponderance of evidence suggests this is a case of life long financial incontinence.

By conflating his family's silver spooned personal irresponsibility with the struggles of millions of working Americans who truly did get screwed by the Financial Establishment, this disingenuous media whore is doing a great disservice. I hope he enjoys the future bankruptcies his wife will certainly drag him into, regardless of any money his book generates.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Mr Advice Person

In which I become Dear Abby for a day.

I received this email this morning.

"I feel bad about Richard X.

Richard X came to the March - or was it the April ? - meeting and introduced himself and asked questions about the recorder society and about recorders. I encouraged him to consider taking up the recorder, but did not offer to give any assistance or lessons - and did not refer him to anyone for lessons. He came to the May meeting and, while Greta was conducting, gave his recently-purchased recorder and soft case to DD. Richard said something to David about arthritis pain, and that he could not play recorder and promptly left. He obviously purchased a recorder (and possibly a music book), tried to play and quickly gave up because of health issues or lack of motivation.

In retrospect I wonder if I should have been so keen on encouraging Richard. Perhaps I should have quizzed him more about his musical experience. Or, observing that he is a mature gentleman, perhaps I should have asked about his finger dexterity and so forth. I was so happy to see someone express a desire to play recorder that I did not think things through.

I feel bad about Richard X."

By way of adding background,the Recorder Society welcomes people to take up recorder playing if that is their wish. Playing recorder is note terribly physically demanding, and neither great talent nor years of diligent is not required to play well enough to have some fun. You can purchase a surprisingly playable plastic recorder and a good lesson book online for under $10. BTW, that's why schools use recorders.

Given all this, here's my response:

"IMHO, it is always better to just encourage. I do not believe it is my chosen role in life to tell people what they can't do (I leave that role to Law Enforcement). I prefer to see myself as helping people get a chance to try. You did exactly the right thing,as I see it.

I say this from personal experience of being disabled for about a year, with constant pain. It is healthy for a disabled person to want to find activities. Getting out and doing something a little social moves you away from the physical pain and the emotional pain of isolation. Not a pretty picture, but that's what it's like.

It is always better for a person in that state to try things, provided there is no danger or other serious consequences. Given that recorders are cheap and safe, it's OK to encourage anyone who's willing to try.

The key to surviving disability is to have a compelling reason to recover. That's not as easy as it sounds. It doesn't have to be a good reason or a rational reason, but a disabled person needs some reason, especially when there is pain involved."

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

One More Star Trek Thing

Yet another Star Trek piece of something or other. I thought this was too true not to share.


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Scathing Insult of the Day

I ran across this hilarious insult on a Yahoo group for recorder players.

"Klaus is like a case of genital herpes: he cannot be cured and one can expect
periodic irritating flare-ups. Remember that even when symptoms are not
apparent, it is best not to get too close."

Put that in your head joint and smoke it!

The Geography of Carbon

I found this great map in a Washington Post Blog. It's about carbon emissions and global warming.


This is a very cool use of mapping techniques.

The top map scales countries based on their current carbon emission levels. The bigger the country on the top map,the more carbon they are emitting.

The second map sizes countries in proportion to expected deaths related to climate change. It's interesting that the highest emitters are projected to have to live with the least impact. Like normal Africa gets screwed. Big Surprise there.

I have no idea how the authors came up with their projection, so you should take this with a grain of salt. But I totally approve of their cool mapping techniques.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

STAR TREK Reprise

I forgot two of my favorite moments from the movie, one motif and a one-liner.

First, the Bones-heckling-Spock one liner:



Bones:"Are you out of your Vulcan mind?"

Second, the Red Shirt Motif:



When they assigned a third guy in a Red Shirt to the away mission, I heard several gasps and tut tuts near me in the theater. Sure enough, the guy got wiped out in a Wiley Coyote style parachute landing. I didn't know whether to smirk or feel sad. Of course, the away mission guys who count (you know, like the ones with names?) saved the world, again

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

It's All About Me!!!!! Jesus Sez So!

Thanks to the Personal Promise Bible, The whole word knows it! No more reading boring letters from disciples to their boring friends in Corinth and Ephesus, now they are writing to me and the Ephesians! Finally religion that is relevant.

Just a small excerpt from this corrected bible:

"So then Steve is no longer a stranger and sojourner, but Steve is a fellow citizen with the saints, and of the household of God, being built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus Himself being the chief cornerstone; in whom the whole building, fitted together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord; in whom Steve is built with others into a dwelling place of God in the Spirit."

You'll need to type in your own name to get this holy thrill.

Yikes, this is almost as good as being a Mormon! Holy temples in the sky and everything.

Yep,this is serious, you can buy a bible with the name of your choice inserted everywhere. We are all special, dangit. See - it's right here in Jeffrey Dahmer Bible. I read it every day for inspiration.

"For Jeffrey Dahmer is His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared before that Jeffrey Dahmer should walk in them."

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Tanks Beeda Gaud, as the Irish priests say.

STAR TREK

We finally gave in to the hype and saw Star Trek yesterday. We both thought it was great. I give it 3 1/2 stars. Could have been 4 stars, but the last scene made me gag.

We were able to get into an earlier a show than we had planned for, but we had to sit pretty far up front in a giant screen theater.We were about 10 rows from the screen in one of those giant stadium style theaters. We both actually enjoyed sitting up front with a bunch of stoners. We could really experience the perspectives of the space scenes. Funny how the communicators look cellphones. We live in an age of miracles and wonders.

I thought the story line was good as well. I wasn't ready for the movie to end when it did. That's the ultimate test of a good movie in my book.

Obviously, the big deal in this film is the character development aimed at creating credible back stories for the Enterprise bridge crew.

I loved the portrayal of Kirk as a nearly reformed punk was great. Spock as a horndog, with psychological scars from being bullied as a child! Who could ask for anything more than that! No wonder his dad had him married off to a Vulcan in The Original Series.

I was glad they gave Uhuru a real job. She was a pretty dopey character in The Original Series. In The Original Series no one could figure out how an independent loner like Scottie could have made it through the bureaucracy that is Star Fleet. However, I didn't really get Scotty's furry sidekick. I am always glad to see more of Ensign Sulu's fencing obsession played out. I should have invited Uhuru to my wedding, maybe she would have shown up, who knows. That would have been really cool.

The ending scene of the movie, where the establishment richly lavishes awards on the lovable outcasts (yawn, what a great idea, I've never seen that before) almost made me want to puke. But, it was nice seeing Captain Pike in a normal wheelchair with out the stupid Beep. .. Beepbeep light thing he was stuck in in Menagerie.

As Long as We're Picking on Fast Food Mascots

Don't expect Kosher Whoppers any time soon!


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I don't know why these things scare me so much.

Time for something less scary, but, as Ogden Nash said, "I'll never see a three-L lllama."


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That's my derivative and uncreative story, and I'm sticking to it.

Be Scared, Be Very Scared

First, President Obama brings back military tribunals, then this:


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This scares the living daylights out of me.

And if that's not scary enough, I had a telephone interview with headhunter this morning.I suspect nothing material Will come of this, since I don't think she has anything clients that need me. She was "just fishing", which is fine. Events like this make it harder for me to consistently avoid thinking about "What The Heck Am I Doing With My Life?". I left my last period of full time employment with the hope that I would do something cool and rewarding. That really hasn't happened,I catch myself killing some time during the weekdays.

However, in addition to working out several times each week, I spend more time doing things musical and I spend a few hours a week getting a leisurely paced self - education in Abstract Algebra. That is a strange and difficult subject which I don't understand well enough to even define what the subject is about in plain English. That's where the "Abstract"comes in. I skip all the harder problems, so the knowledge I'm getting is pretty sketchy. I can now pretty simply prove to High School students that there is no "largest" prime number. Talk about getting your geek on!

This is probably not a bad time for supportable semi-loafing, since everything in this economy feels like it wants to go from bad to worse. This region is pretty likely too see large layoffs in State Government, which will lead to more foreclosures and so on and so forth, blah, blah,blah. It won't take too many more empty store fronts and "For Sale" signs for Sacramento to start feeling like New Detroit. On the positive side, my lifestyle is becoming more popular, as more folks are introduced to the charms of bottom feeding slackerhood. I have been seeing more people than usual on the American River Bike Trail on weekday morning rides. Maybe, if people can figure out how to get along with out that shiny new big screen TV and IPhone, this mess we're in will produce a happiness dividend.

OMG, GLOBAL WARMING!

Some of my grumpiness might be related to the weather. We are at the start of our first heat blast of the year, expecting temperatures topping out a little above 100 degrees F Sunday and Monday. Average temperatures for this time of year are in the low 80's, so this is a bummer. Nothing produces lassitude like triple-digit temperatures. thankfully, the forecast is still predicting cool nights. This is one way to test the air conditioning. Hopefully temperatures will work their way back to normal for the rest of May.

Since I can't think of anything else to complain about,

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

They'll Pry My Cheerios From My Cold Dead Hands

The FDA today has today sent a Warning Letter to General Mills claiming the labeling of Cheerios is in violation of Federal law. The FDA takes offence to claims of lowered cholesterol.

Although several respected media outlets have reported this, I only found one mainstream media report (Wall Street Journal's blog) that actually appears to have read the two page warning letter. That's really a shame,since this letter is a doozy. I tend to agree wiht the position the FDA is taking, but it seems strange anyway.

In the broadest sense, the FDA's compaint is that the claims made on the box of Cheerios make Cheerios a drug. The FDA made this call because,

"Cheerios® Toasted Whole Grain Oat Cereal is promoted for conditions that cause it to be a drug because the product is intended for use in the prevention, mitigation, and treatment of disease. Specifically, your Cheerios® product bears the following claims ort its label:

• "you can Lower Your Cholesterol 4% in 6 weeks" "
• "Did you know that in just 6 weeks Cheerios can reduce bad cholesterol by an average of 4 percent? Cheerios is ... clinically proven to lower cholesterol. A clinical study showed that eating two 1 1/2 cup servings daily of Cheerios cereal reduced bad cholesterol when eaten as part of a diet low in saturated fat and cholesterol."

Now comes the fun stuff:

Since Cheerios labeling has made the stuff a drug, the fun starts now:

"The product is also a new drug under section 201(p) of the Act [21 U.S.C. § 321(p)] because it is not generally recognized as safe and effective for use in preventing or treating hypercholesterolemia or coronary heart disease. Therefore,under section 505(a) of the Act [21 U.S.C. § 355(a)], it may not be legally marketed with the above claims in the United States without an approved new drug application."

Yep, Cheerios as currently labeled is subhect to the FDA's drug approval process.

Now, here's where the hoarding comes in:

"Failure to promptly correct the violations specified above may result in enforcement action without further notice. Enforcement action may include seizure of violative products and/or injunction against the manufacturers and distributors of violative products."

First go after my breakfast, next thing you know, they'll take my gun! I guess maybe those cranial anal inserted reactionaries was right all the time! Perhaps not.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.