Something Special - A Charm School Lesson From Wisconsin

Is it jsut me, or does Wisconsin seem to generate more than its fair of bad crazynes.

Today's lesson comes from the story of Madison Wisconsin's very own Keith Rasmussen. Keith broke several rules of gentlemanly manners and comportment, and is probably a good candidate for AA.

Hangininsac is proud to publish an exclusive fabricated interview with Rasmussen:

Mr Manners: So, I heard you had an interesting evening.

Rasmussen: Well, it started out good,until I puked at the strip club. Then everything went downhill.

Mr Manners: Ah, that was your first social blunder. Better society pukes in the bathroom sink, or in the alley behind the strip club. Puking in the VIP lounge tends to make strippers reluctant to give lap dances, and attracts unwanted attention from bouncers. What happened next?

Rasmussen: They threw me out, like I was some kind of bum.

Mr Manners: And this surprized you.

Rasmussen: You bet your p0lite ass, I was mad as hell. So I rammed their building with my truck.

Mr Manners: Do you think that was a good idea?

Rasmussen: I took off as quick as I could. Decided it was time to go home. If some tattle tale hadn't called the cops, it would have been no problem at all. I tried to be my smoothest when I talked to the cops, but they dragged me to the jail.

Mr Manners: Ah, yes, when I get stopped, I usually greet police by asking, "How can I help you?

Rasmussen: I told them I was "not good, but I had seen some nice strippers". Then they gave me a sobriety test. It's those damn cops with ESP. It must've been their second sight that clued them in. They asked if I had been driving, but, hey, I'm way too smart for that old trick, so I told them Martians had been driving my truck.

Mr Manners: Well boys and girls, let'sreview what we learned today:

(1) Puke in puke friendly areas only.

(2) Don't ram your truck into a strip joint.

(3) The police won't appreciate hearing about Martians and strippers, especially if a strip joint has recently been rammed and you truck is freshly dented.

By the way, I guess driving a vehivcal through the wall could be considered "entering or leaving a controlled access unlawfully". No foolin.

Well children, drive carefully and don't forget your manners.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.