Life and Times of an itinerant slacker in Sacramento. Thrills, Spills Galore coming soon. Not to mention lots of opinions.
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Friday, April 10, 2009
Machinima!
In machinima, animators use Internet game environments as their studio. Apparently,this is a hobby for some professional animation folks in Southern California. This art form will probably always operate under the commercial radar, since ownership of the artwork would be subject to thorny legal issues that would arise with the game owners. This means machinima will probably remain a realm of artistic expression a little less perverted by corporate culture.
Kyle and Rosemary is a charming machinima about two high school kids who find themselves on the border where geek meets goth, and reality meets "videality". IMHO, this was worth the seven minutes to takes to watch. My favorite line was, "You want me to bring you a flaming skull in real life?"
Find more videos like this on Channel Frederator RAW
The teenage characters were just too darned sweet, but beyond that I thoroughly enjoyed this. That saccharin aftertaste is almost impossible to avoid when teenage dramas are created by a supposed hipster over age 35. We are all guilty of these sins, so I got over it.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Thursday, April 09, 2009
More Fun With Tech-Mangled Language
I Love Tofu, or
I Love to Fu#&.
It's a great communication medium that can't differentiate between the Joy of Cooking and the Joy of Sex.
I guess it's really OK, since either might make an appropriate gift for newlyweds. Ba Ding!
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
We Love O-baaaaaaah-ma,Dude,WTF?
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | M - Th 11p / 10c | |||
| Moment of Zen - Turkey Loves Obama | ||||
| thedailyshow.com | ||||
| ||||
Looks like someone else will be getting the ovine vote in the midterm elections.
A Rare Example of Utah Humor or A Microsoft Evil Plot?
I quote from the Associated Press:
"PROVO, Utah (AP) -- Thousands of issues of Brigham Young University's student newspaper were pulled from newsstands because a front-page photo caption misidentified leaders of the Mormon church as apostates instead of apostles.
An apostate is a person who has abandoned religious faith, principles or a cause.
The photo in The Daily Universe on Monday was of members of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, a governing body of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, at the weekend general conference."
Conspiracy or Coincidence or a rare example of LDS humor? You be the judge!
The paper's editor claims this was the result of a student editor absentmindedly accepting yet another stupid spelling change from Word's spellcheck function.
A BYU spokesperson said, "The typo was an honest mistake." Perhaps,I say.
Perhaps it just isn't that simple. Perhaps this is the first evidence we've seen of Satan's (Jesus's jealous younger brother, or maybe not) ungodly influence over Microsoft. Perhaps the Prince of Darkness meant to keep his control of the Evil Empire under cover for a few more years, but couldn't resist the opportunity to pound an extra nail into the cross, sort of a warm-up for Good Friday.
We must remain vigilant here. This is not the first time we have seen the Devil infiltrate Christians' computers. Remember Jimmy and Tammy Baker and their satanically infiltrated PTL Club computer? I am sure this will not be the last time, either.
Bill gates is a Satan-worshipping-godless-communist. Here's even more evidence.
"I always presumed evil would take a fairer form." J.R.R. Tolkein (Frodo Baggins)
Pesach Yomtov, and Don't forget to splash that cleansing lamb's blood on your door tonight. (However, I've found that vinegar works better for wine and beer stains)
That' s my story and I'm sticking to it.
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Kumar Goes to the Whitehouse, But Where's Harold?
No kidding, the feds have beat me to it. Kumar is putting his acting career on hold to become a Whitehouse glad-hander for Asians and Polynesians!
Imagine, it all started with a disenchanted cubicle - dwelling simp's craving for little square hamburgers!
Apparently Kumar (aka Kal Penn) spent last summer and fall campaigning for Obama.
That's nice, but putting this guy into an official position still creeps me out. If our previous presidents applied the same principals with their celebrity hacks, we would have just seen eight years with Chuck Norris as Secretary of State. Not to mention Babbs Striesand as the Clintons' emissary to Jews, or New York, or the tone deaf, or leisure suit manufacturers, or something or other.
Not to mention anything as wingnut moonbatty as nominating some senile retired B movie actor to run for president.
Well, I have come to the conclusion that this new administration aint gonna solve all our problems, no way no how. Guess we'll have to solve 'em ourselves.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Monday, April 06, 2009
Barack Obama is Tired of Your MF'ing Sh*t
These audio clips are from the audio book version of "Dreams From my Father". One of the Prez-to-be's high school friends explored his racial identity though a rather colorful and expressive vocabulary. Since it's in the book, we get to her the prez say it.
This only increases my confidence in our Prez. What this country needs in these trying times, is a President who is willing to say it straight, to tell America, "You ain't my bitch (N-word deleted), get your own damn fries." Seriously,that's a message all us overstuffed, overspent hyper consumers need to hear.
I left out the N-word because because I have recently had to dealwith a student (now a former student) who used that word in an attempt to sound gangsta. Putting the same word in my blog would make me a hypocrite. No one would know but me, but that's enough.
Thanks to my hip New York Niece for leading me to this.
Dammit, bitch, I said get your own damned fries!
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Posted using ShareThis
Friday, April 03, 2009
Bluebird's and Redbuds
I saw the first bluebird of the season, perched on a stop sign by the entrance to the preserve's parking lot. Even the staff hadn't seen any bluebirds this year. Fortunately, I had photographic evidence so they didn't think I was a nut.


Not the clearest pictures. As I started shooting and zooming the lense from the car, the bird turned around and started to take off. Even with the blur, and the bird flying head down, the bluebird colors are unmistakable.
In an effort to stay on the color scheme, the redbuds are blooming. The Western Redbud is native to Local riparian forests.
May the Blubird of Happyness visit you as well.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Our Desert Trip; Part 4
We saw three missions on our trip, San Antonio de Pala Asistencia, Santa Ysabel Asistencia, and Mission San Diego de Alcalá. The Asistencia missions were smaller ‘helper’ missions set inland,rahter thanon the El Camino real. The missions existed primarily to minister to Indians rather than defend the royal road, so these missions did not have military presidios.
San Antonio de Pala Asistencia is by far the most interesting of the three missions to visit. It’s conveniently located about a mile from another giant casino, in the small town of Pala, on the Pala Reservation. The mission church still functions as a parish church, however the church has not been modernized as much as some of the other missions, and has an adjacent museum. Many of the other mission buildings are occupied by a charter school.
When we arrived on a Tuesday afternoon, we found the church occupied by a wedding. That gave us the opportunity to explore the grounds.
The graveyard is still in use, and most graves were heaped with all sorts of offerings; ceramic animals, heaps of well-cleaned plastic flowers, sporting equipment, framed photos, military emblems and even one pack of cigarettes. I dared not take any photos. I figured that if the Pala are this serious about graves, taking a photo might lead to an informal pugilistic encounter with an Indian twice my size. The graveyard photos on the mission web sights only show the oldest graves, which are not adorned at all. One thing I learned from looking at the headstones is that a lot of Indians die young. Hopefully, some of the new-found bingo revenue might be used for health programs.
The mission had a nice campanile (or bell tower in gringo). In this rural location, visitors are allowed to climb the steps up to the bells, and obey the signs asking us to resist the temptation to ring the bells to summon a posse to apprehend Zorro.
The original mission bells hang from the school building’s eaves. People make a big deal out of mission bells.
At this point, the wedding finally ended. We commented to each other that these Indians looked almost like Asians. After talking to the priest while we were touring the church, it turns out the wedding attendees were Filipino, as is the priest. This Filipino priest’s surname is Monahan, which he said is an endless source of humor with the older Irish priests in the area.
The church was pretty much modernized, and I didn’t want to annoy the priest who got stuck with the post-wedding cleanup, so I didn’t get any pictures of the church. The photos in the mission website show the original timber roof, which was the church’s most interesting feature.
The attached museum was a treasure trove of creepy iconography. The museum preserved an altar from the turn of the century. Much busier than the current décor.
Some of the artwork was amazing!
This is the bloodiest crucifix I have ever seen. Awesome!
The priest would wear this on All Soul’s Day. Can you get more goth than this?
I liked the style of these wooden statues.
This place may have spoiled me for all other missions.
Santa Ysabel Asistencia is located in a beautiful agricultural valley, not really near any town. The mission was completely in ruins in the 1920’s when an independently wealthy priest assigned to the mission’s parish led the effort to build a new church, rectory (his house) and parish offices. Since this is all modern, there was not much to photograph. The mission has a very small museum dedicated to bells that were lost. The museum had several interesting photos from the 1920s.
The mostly Indian graveyard by this church was similarly decked out. Again, I was too chicken to take any photos.
Our last stop was San Diego. We visited Mission San Diego de Alcalá. This mission was moved and rebuilt in the 19th century, and has been maintained in a somewhat bland fashion, however it is full of statues and other memorials extolling the virtues of Junipero Serra and the rest of his bunch of Franciscans. The mission gives a nice appearance from the front.
The mission’s original site is now taken by the museum in San Diego’s Presidio Park. The museum is currently closed until further notice, since apparently the foundation that ran it went broke.
We stayed near Old Town San Diego, which was in a great part under construction. Beyond good Mexican restaurants, we didn’t find the area to be terribly engaging.
So ends our desert trip.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Hey! I'm A Muse!
I have inspired creativity in another. Now if I could only figure out how to do the same for myself.
Here's what Maxine wrote in her very cool blog:
'Steve S. requested Arnold Schoenberg and John Philip Sousa. Sousa is coming. I had so much fun drawing Schoenberg that I couldn't stop, and he's a bit overworked.'Her drawings are great. Take a look.
http://www.maxinefrost.com/blogengine.net/
Here's the inspiration I gave:
'I love your cartoon portraits.That's my inspirational story, and I'm sticking to it, in a most inspired way.
Something within me is dying to see Arnold Schoenberg & JP Sousa here. I can't explain why, that's just the way it is.'
Thursday, April 02, 2009
Our Desert Trip; Part 3
Most of the drive from 29 palms to Julian passed through the fringes of San Diego’s part of Southern California sprawl. We took Highway 10 through the hillbilly fringe of Palm Springs, to the sprawl filled Moreno valley (yes, I couldn’t resist humming 'I Feel Pretty' from 'West Side Story').
Next, we endured more of the same for several miles on the Interstate 210 Freeway. As we came nearer to our exit, the monotonous scenery was occasionally broken up by gigantic casino hotel complexes. We were entering the tension zone between suburbia and Indian country.
We passed this fruit stand near the edge of the Pala Indian Reservation. I htought some readers might find this interesting. the had really good strawberries and dates.
Our trip turned east on Highways 76, 78 and 79. This was a beautiful road through fruit orchards, smaller desert mountains, and yet more casinos, one giant and one normally scaled. We passed Mount Palomar, we looked up and saw the famous observatory from the road. The rest of the trip was a gentle ascent into the mountains and to Julian.
Although Julian is a relatively short drive to the desert, Julian is in the mountains,full of greenery, and gets rain and snow in the winter. However, 5 miles further east begins desert for hundreds of miles. Julian has made an industry surrounding selling apple pies to day trippers from San Diego, and stuffing people at country style restaurants. It is almost living a lie, since the kind of small farm based country life city slickers like to see on outings (think natural foods commercials) never existed in California. Agriculture in California agriculture was large and corporate from day 1, when the immediate needed for food for over 30,000 49ers, demanded large scale investment in irrigation. No room for the small family farmer here. This town was full of apple pie and fruit jam. I was a little disappointed that the jam jars didn’t have little squares of gingham cloth tied around their tops.
Downtown was full of places to get pie, other restaurants, and lots of shops, featuring an amusing combination of country and new Age kitsch. Ladies and gentlemen, this is definitely 'faux country' (see previous lack of gingham). So there, the truth is out. However,the pie was delicious.
We stayed at the Butterfield B&B in Julien. The B&B, although in a suburban development and not terribly interesting, is an excellent place to stay. We stayed in the room they call 'Country Corner'. Not a surprise that our room’s decoration was a bit over the top, we had to throw about 5 sham pillows off the bed. There was also a teddy bear wearing a lacy ballerina outfit on the bed. I had to practice my best restraint to keep from hanging that thing on the blind’s pull string. The host owners were nice and chatty, both escapees from the 1990s Silicon Valley industries. I would never hang such a nice couples' teddy bear.
I found staying at B&B's to be good value. I figured out after working in the cost of a great breakfast for two, we were probably paying $10 or $20 extra to stay in a great place,rather than a stinky and drab motel room.
Anza Borrego Park greeted us with slightly warmer weather, but still not bad for a desert. I didn’t take many pictures, maybe the hike was a little more tiring than our previous walk at 29 Joshua Tree, maybe the second desert isn’t as thrilling as the first. We saw a few plants we hadn’t seen at Joshua Tree.
The desert valley was full of ocotillo plants. I think that’s a pretty cool sounding name. They had cool red flowers.
We saw a few other flowers we hadn’t seen before, here you go. Most of these were in slightly moister ground downstream from a palm oasis.
The endpoint of our hike was another palm oasis.
The next posting will feature my latest effort to find the creepiest Catholic imagery. California’s missions continue to provide great fodder.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Our Desert Trip; Part 2
We stayed at Roughley Manor, a great place in 29 Palms. Good rooms, interesting and nice owners, and a nest of baby owls we observed in a nearby tree. I strongly recommend this place to anyone staying in 29 Palms. The breakfasts alone are worth the extra cost here.
When we booked our hotels, we looked at tripadvisor.com . The reviews were very helpful. I was amazed at how many places had incredibly horrible reports from dozens of travelers. That site probably saved us from several crummy nights, and helped us find two really good places to stay.
Now, time for vacation photos.
Joshua Tree (where the streets have no name) was great! We had good weather, with breezy highs below 70 degrees. The desert was full of flowers.
After visiting the park office, we started with a short interpretive walk to Skull Rock
This short trail near a campground and the office’s garden had lots of plant identification markers. Although interpretive trails are generally candy assed, they help me learn to recognize some flora. We saw flowers everywhere.
Skull rock itself was pretty awesome. Shiver me timbers.
In the same way this Joshua Tree Park has very little to do with Bono and his ‘wheeze and roll’ U2 buddies, I expect this skull rock is not closely related to the notorious Burning Blade Clan’s hideout in World of Warcraft. It’s amazing what you can learn from Google.
We took a less wimpy walk to 49 Palms Oasis. As advertised, there really was an oasis with palm trees, flowering shrubs ,and even hummingbirds. The oasis hasn’t had water at the surface fro several years, due to a dropping water table. This was a cool place, in every meaning of the word.
The walk to and from the oasis was filled with desert wildflowers. I didn’t even try to identify them. Here’s some of them.
This is the beaver tail cactus, although without the pink flowers, they look a lot like a prickly pear.
A park ranger was very excited to see this flower near the trailhead parking lot.She took this picture with my camera,since the flower was on a slippery gravel slope marked as off limits to visitors. I think this is called a flaming star.
All the barrel cactus were red. The ranger said they are always red. Go figure.
This was a beautiful hike, but we noticed the conspicuous absence of Joshua trees along this trail. That was funny, since we drove through miles of valley full of the things on the way to the trailhead.
We addressed that issue the next morning, when we hiked to Pine City. This hike started out through a plain dotted with Joshua trees, and moved on to several rocky ridges and canyons. The hike went past several pine canyons,which we did not recognize as pine canyons. But it was beautiful.
Finally, pictures of joshua trees.
This might have been a pine canyon, I think the scrubby fir shrub in the left foreground may have qualified as a pine.
Mysterious pine canyons or not, I don't think there's anything as desolate yet oddly attractive looking as a field of joshua trees.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Our Desert Trip; Part 1
We visited some desert parks and missions last week. It was a good vacation for both of us, as well as a source of grist for the blog. I expect to do several entries over the week about our experience with Southern CA.
This is the first time I had ever driven down the dreaded highway 5. Although we left the highway well before Los Angeles, most of it was a very dull drive, with one exception. A stretch of a little over 50 miles south of Tracy runs though the edge of the foothills, with views of the California aqueduct below. The rest of the route is a constant fight against falling asleep.
We stopped at Wonderful Wasco, CA for lunch. I have never seen a town with so many boarded up businesses. That’s not surprizing, given that the official unemployment rate in the Central Valley is about 20% (remember, cub economists, the federal unemployment rates exclude most long term unemployed workers). We drove down the main street looking for local restaurants, and the first three we saw were boarded up. We ended up eating at Perko’s, a California chain. The waitresses were all fluent in Spanish and English, and an old guy in the next booth was a packers fan. The place felt a little like Kenosha in the 1980’s but dryer and sunnier. Mothballed business became an underlying theme of this trip.
As the chamber of commerce tells us, Wasco is ‘just’ 130miles north of Los Angeles. In California’s wacky relativistic universe, that made Wasco a potential gold mine for developers. We could see this partially completed development from Perko’s. I don’t know what will happen to these unfinished and abandoned developments.

We saw a lot of parched fields and orchards full of dead trees. Apparently, as water has become more scarce, agribusiness has figured out they can make more money by selling water rights to Southern California urban areas than they can make growing stuff. Great deal, except for those of us who like to eat. Expect more on this at your grocery store this fall.
Next (really first) stop is 29 Palms and Joshua Tree.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Another From xkcd

I'll do a real blog entry one of these days, maybe a travelogue of our trip next week to Anza Borrego, Joshua tree and San Diego. Expect no blog entries next week. I plan to be doing things more fun than making blog entries.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Friday, March 13, 2009
A Yellow Shafted Afternoon

Using this picture and the Peterson Field Guide, think this is a Yellow - Shafted Flicker. I was excited to see this bird, since usually the only woodpecker - type birds I see are Nutall's Woodpeckers. Although the Nutall's woodpecker is unique to coastal and central California, it 's nice to see a different bird for a change. Geeze-o-pete,I sound like a British dirty old man.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Credit Default Swaps Explained (In Under Two Minutes)
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
The Class Warfare Has Started - It's Official!
Rather than the usual class warfare of the rich versus everyone else, Gross reports we are in the midst of a class-based civil war pitting the rich against the not quite so rich. The time respected tactic of bilking seems to be the most common weapon in the conflict. I am sorry to say that the lumpensheeple have failed to wake up. At this point in time, the proletariat have not stepped into the fight.
I am becoming a big Daniel Gross fan, admittedly I have jumped on the bandwagon a little late. When I realize that I'm depending on an octogenarian to point out the latest trends,maybe it's time for me to get out a little more.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Monday, March 09, 2009
Too Sweet Not To Share

Ahhh, Geeks in Love.
That's my stroy and I'm sticking to it.
Sunday, March 08, 2009
My Big Fat Gay Quaker Wedding
The wedding was a real experience. We played pretty well, with the strengths and weaknesses in our playing that we always experience. Recorders like to wander in and out of close tuning. The crowd seemed to enjoy the music, even the poor souls who came in last and had to sit about three feet in front of us. I think we added something to the affair. Several people complemented us, so either we played well or they are a very polite Meeting of Friends, or both.
The ceremony was totally a non-ceremony, like, what vows? what ceremony? That’s pretty much how Quakers, being the masters of British antiestablishmentarianism inspired understatement, like to do ceremonies. (antiestablishmentarianism, WOOT! I have waited my entire life to use this word in its proper context!)
The grooms processed at the end of our last number, a Marin Marias rondeau, not the Masterpiece Theater rondeau but equally appropriate for a Louis XIV era procession. To be completely honest it really wasn’t much of a procession. As we were winding the down, the grooms walked in the Meeting room and sat down in two chairs in the center, in front of a card table holding the very large Marriage document.
The Meeting’s Clerk read the rules, one hour of silent meditation, where we each are free to speak if so moved. Do these guys know how to party or what?
The ceremony was the same as a regular Sunday Quaker meeting, except for the couple of minutes when the grooms stood, made very short vows (about 5 words) and signed the certificate. That moment felt more like applying for life insurance than a typical protestant wedding. On this festive day, many were 'moved to speak', including a member of the California Assembly (Mariko Yamada from Davis, who officiated their civil ceremony). There is great concern right now, as a court is drafting its decision on the validity of Proposition 8 ,which may prohibit the State’s recognition of same-sex marriage. No one knows how this decision might impact existing marriages, whether the marriages will continue to exist. One of the guys had some community activism in his background, so given the timing of this wedding, some who were moved to speak might be accused of political grandstanding. However most who spoke said nice things about the guys, as it should be IMHO. They seem like decent guys. I cannot begrudge the politically motivated speakers, since much of my motivation for playing is that this is the most constructive way I can thumb my nose at the 51% of California voters who are far less enlightened than I. I hadn’t even met the grooms before the wedding.
Seriously, check out Proposition 8,the Musical for something very strange and only about three minutes.
BTW the guys were rather large-bodied fellows in their mid 50's. They both seemed rather quiet types, and were dressed in slacks and loose fitting short sleeved shirts. One of the grooms looked a little bit like a darker Rush Limbaugh, the Herman Goering of the New and Improved Republican Party,but only from behind. They looked like your typical fifty something civil service office workers. They seemed like a good couple, given that the guy who is a Quaker early on had agreed to unload a lot of his book collection (someone said something about 20 cartons of books) so both guys could fit their stuff into one house, and the other guy, who is not a Quaker, agreed to put up with this ceremony.
The silences were pretty long. I found that each time I began really working at meditating someone would be moved to speak. At that moment, I needed to stop my meditation, and focus on the speaker. I found it difficult to meditate when anticipating an interruption at any moment. I must admit that it seems those whom you wish wouldn’t be moved to speak are so moved.
We stayed for the short and informal reception, where we signed the Society’s marriage certificate. All who attend the meeting are considered witnesses. I spoke with one of the grooms and several of the friends. It was a friendly crowd of Friends. One of the friends thought I would be an excellent addition to the meeting, after hearing about my slackerly existence. I amnot sure whether to take that as a complement or a slam. There were sandwiches and some homemade chocolate-dipped strawberries. They didn’t have any oatmeal anywhere, nor did anyone resemble the Quaker oats guy in any way, except perhaps in girth.
Assemblyperson Yamada and I spoke for about two minutes as we were holding our plastic champagne glasses filled with apple juice and waiting for the toast (did I mention that these Friends really know how to party?) Of course, we became immediate best friends for that moment. You've got to love that about politicians. She seemed very nice.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Friday, March 06, 2009
Bloody Vikings and Their Financial Collapse; Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam
Michael Lewis looks at this absurd situation by visiting Iceland and just talking to people and his giving off-hand observations about this small country full of overeducated Norsemen who seem to personally know everyone else in the country,and have taken to burning their Land Rovers for the insurance money.
I am not sure what point Lewis is trying to make, he seems to be trying to comfort us by making the claim that Iceland’s situation is different from the rest of the world, and their collapse is somehow related to uniquely Icelandic foibles. In other words, don’t worry, be happy.
For a little lighter entertainment,
Another, much briefer article in this month’s Vanity Fair documents the accuracy of Thomas Freidman’s previous predictions.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
Time to Shoot the Recession
Anyway here'sone of my favorite early submissions.
I wonder if the proprietors of this fun pottery party business had their heads in the kiln when they came up with his one:

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
About Me
- Steve
- I must enjoy shouting into a vacuum, but I think about getting my act together one of these days. My mom says I am very handsome and intelligent.
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