hangininsac

View My Blog at Open Salon

2010-12-15T15:54:00.000-08:00

As of early December 2010, I have moved blogging operations from this location to Open Salon.

The complete address (thats URL for you propellerheads out there) is http://open.salon.com/blog/another_steve_s.

When I first began posting on Open Salon, I thought I might continue posting here. That really didn't make sense. There's a couple of reasons.

First, it's all about the readership. After about ten postsin Open Salon, it's apparent I am getting from five to twenty times the readership I had at Blogger. Every one of my posts on Open Salon has had more readers in its first twenty minutes than I get in a week on Blogger. You can't fight numbers like that.

Second, Open Salon's writers comment frequently on each opther's posts. This helps temper the feeling that blogging is really about shouting into a vacuum (although it probably is close to that).

Like everything else in life, there is a downside. Salon's finances are tentative at best. A day may come when I log on and see "454 error". That would be the day when Salon Media or its purchaser drop Open Salon. I keep copies of my posts,and I will keep this blog "live but inactive" (kinda like me). That way,there will always be a blog somewhere, or at leastuntil I find something more interesting to do.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Why Many Irish People Don't Want a Bailout, in Plain English

2010-12-03T08:55:00.000-08:00

I think it's hard to understand why so many Irish are opposed to their government accepting a bailout mostly funded by other European Governments.

I posted this on a forum. It got pretty good reviews soI thought I would repost here.

Reasoning Underlying the Popular Irish Aversion to a Bailout, in Plain English:

The bailout initiates a process in the "beneficiary's" economy, starting with a "triggering situation":

1) The Bond market demands yields that someone thinks are "too high" for the affected nation's debt. In this case, the German Government was the loudest complainer.

Now comes the bailout. Note who gets the support and who does not get it.

2) Bondholders receive some king of assurance (note - the bond markets as of yesterday do not appear to have attributed material value to the assurance given)

3) Given assurance, the cost of borrowing short term declines (maybe)

4) Bailout recipient nation cuts Government spending per conditions attached to bailout. Note, I haven't seen any publicly disclosed conditions. But this is inevitable.

5) Cut in Government spending = immediate shrinkage in economy=recession and dimmed prospects for future economic growth. This is where the trouble begins anew.

6) Growth stagnates (maybe, but likely (see Greece for example))

7) Cost of borrowing increases because the market determines the price of bonds to be a function of the capacity for a nation's future growth. Low or negative growth means bond purchaser sees little "organic" capacity to repay future debts. Therefore, the market demands higher yields. This adds to the original problem, which was that the bond markets were demanding high yields.

8) Now we are back to the first step,

9) Another bailout, or default.

Many Irish look to their north and see Iceland, where default was the chosen way out of a debt crisis. Iceland is showing signs of recovery. The Irish also look south to Greece, where the bailout has been executed and there is no improvement.

I am not sure I can make a clear comparison between Ireland, Greece and Iceland, since Iceland has its own currency, and it has been devalued.

The Euro makes everything more interesting.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it, or,
Sin é mo scéal agus tá mé ag cloí leis.

My Short Career as a Clarinet Soloist

2010-12-01T11:43:00.000-08:00

Last spring I played a clarinet solo piece with a The American Recorder Orchestra of the West. Since this probably the only time I Will get to play a really long clarinet solo with a large group, I invite you to have a listen.

This is a modern 20th century classical piece. I think it is pretty accessible for its time. You will hear some dissonance around 40 or50 seconds into the video. Do not fear,everything calms down and the tone becomes melodic and stays that way for the rest of the piece.

The featured work is "Prayer of St Gregory" by Alan Hovhaness. You might be likely to hear this played as a trumpet solo accompanied by a church pipe organ. I have heard parts of this used as filler on the various NPR news shows.

I took this from an unengineered mp3 file, so what you hear is what you get.

This was fun to play, and I'm OK with how it came out, but I don't see a future as a concert soloist.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

I Kludged Today

2010-11-30T14:11:00.000-08:00

Now with the November Novel put to rest for a while, I took some time today to take care of some things around the house. I started with cleaning the gutters. That was the second cleaning this year. I'll probably have to clean the gutters again around New Years Day since there are still leaves on the trees.

While climbing up to the gutters,I noticed we have a fence issue. A short length of fence from our house to the shared fence between houses had gone loose. One end of my short segment should be firmly attached to the property line fence. That end was hanging loose.

We share the property line fence with the neighbors. When the fence needed major repairs about five years ago I agreed to let the neighbor do it himself (and he offered to pay the entire cost). Anyway, the property line fence is still standing, but it moves around from year to year, despite the neighbors' several kludges over the years. It's a real work of creativity.

I needed to secure the end of my short fence spanning the gap from the side of my house to the property line. It was tricky, because fitting something in with the previous kludges on the property line fence was a little weird.

Sounds like a real pickle, but it was no problem, thanks to my bag of nails, hammer, crosscut saw and big length of two by four lumber. Here's my work. ..

It's not much to look at, but it will hold for a while.

The top piece of wood is the actual brace. It's securely nailed to the supporting cross planks for each fence. The difficulty was that the neighbors had made two kludges to the property line fence. I had to stack a couple of two by fours to get something level with the property line fence. This is all held together with a bunch of nails.

No duct tape was used. Nails hold it all together.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Time to Blog Again

2010-11-28T21:24:00.000-08:00

Now that the November novel is written, I should be blogging a little more often.

The title needs more work.

Another November, another 50,000 words, another novel.

I won't look at the mess for at least a week, and then I'll have a better idea of what's there.

Highlights of this whole mess:

The Jules Verne on the Great Eastern took a strange and promising turn. It always bothered me that Verne didn't provide any explanation about captain Nemo. Since nature abhors a vacuum, I was nature's friend and created an identity for Nemo as Verne's alter ego haunting his dreams. The only significant insight into Nemo Verne gave us is his unlimited arrogance fueled by his absolute belief that all powerful men are arrogant and capricious. Starting with that, Nemo grew to resemble Satan from Paradise Lost. Verne's dreams while aboard the Great Eastern are filled with Nemo's successful efforts to foil the Great Eastern's 1865 cable expedition. As I write this I find myself wondering why Nemo wouldn't have just waited for the cable to be laid, and walk out with snips and make a few cuts. After all, pressure is not an issue in Nemo's ocean. That wouldn't have made much of a story.

The saga of Augustus Cary was expressed as a series of letters from Cary to his fiancee in Detroit. He never wondered if he would have great great grand children in California, since that would have been totally Mary Sue. This was by far the easiest to write, since I have written a lot of letters in my life, and the one verified sample of Augustus Cary's writing (a treatise about technical issues in cranberry farming by Stevens Point, WI) revealed a beautifully stilted Victorian era prose.

I honestly can't remember the story around the ship's building and launch. I've been too occupied with spitting out the 30,000 words after that story. I think it was historical fact through the lens of an angst filled engineer. Poor Isambard Kingdom Brunel got killed twice, since his collapse and death om the eve of the maiden voyage (I didn't make this part up, it happened) touched Augustus Cary as well as the engineers.

I am tired of writing now. That's all.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

And so begins This Novembers NanoWrimo Novel

2010-11-01T15:35:00.000-07:00

I put a little more thought into this year's opus.

Here's the raw (unedited at all) beginning:

“Grandpapa, Grandpapa, what terrible news!”

“Grandpapa, Grandpapa Benedict, a great ship, the greatest ship ever, has sunk Of the coast of America.”

These words interrupted Ernest Benedict's morning nap, and left him mistily musing on the conditions of his doddering years.

“Every morning these unmannerly descendents feel they must share their opinions with their 82 year old great grandpapa. What ever has become of manners in this kingdom.”

The children continued their interruptions, “Father told us the papers count thousands among the dead. Men, women, children. Thousands sunk with the ship.” Benedict finally found the energy to raise his head and comprehend what he was hearing. He quietly responded to his great grandchildren, “Please, can you bring your great grandpapa the newspaper. He is very tired and finds such fearsome stories from the mouths of babes troublesome. Please, bring me the newspaper and leave me in peace and quiet.”

The eldest of the pack of unmannerly children handed Benedict the newspaper while chewing some unidentified morsel. Per usual, Benedict began reading the paper from the top. For the past few years, he found the newspaper's daily reminder of the current date to be helpful when his memory was poor, and comforting when his view of things was crisper. Tired and housebound, one day was not very different from the next, and sometimes Benedict lost track of the passing of time. The day was April 16, 1912.

Much of the paper's front page was taken up with news about the Titanic. Benedict read the articles full of tragedy and loss. The ship had sunk quickly in the north Atlantic after hitting an iceberg near Newfoundland. A breach in the ship's thin skin let water into the hull so fast that she sank in a matter of hours, before most of the passengers were able to abandon ship. Two days after the sinking, only about 700 survivors were identified, all others were feared lost.

As he read, Benedict remembered an advertisement he had seen a few weeks ago, claiming that the White Star liner was “as far as it is possible to do. . .designed to be unsinkable”.

Bendict began to muse,“As far as possible, as far as possible, these things are not possible today. I know they were possible once, when our Empire was lead by giants. Why must I go to my grave knowing our greatest days are behind us?”

“ In the days of our great Queen Victoria, we designed a ship that could avoid icebergs by constantly measure the ambient water temperature. A ship that could withstand such a collision, a ship that took a sixty foot gash below the waterline without even listing, without its passengers even noticing. A ship so stable in the elements that it could tie continents together with a one inch thick thread, twice in two years. The Great Eastern connected the new and old worlds, and changed the course of history. She even contributed to the arts, providing the inspiration for Captain Nemo and his Marvelous vessel forged of steel.”

“She was conceived and built by great men; Isambard Kingdom Brunel, James Scott Russell, and me among them. Great men trod upon her decks, furthering their works and the Empire's glory while aboard. The great scientist Lord Kelvin and his cable. Even the foreigner Jules Verne and his novels of fantastic future scientific miracles, many miracles that he experienced on his cruise aboard the Great Eastern. How many young men were inspired by the sight of this leviathan rising from the stinking, fetid mud of Shoreditch by the Thames?”

Film rights are still available. I'm holding out for the low seven digits.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Steampunk Is Dead

2010-10-31T08:15:00.000-07:00

That is, steampunk is dead if it ever was alive.

steampunk's death was announced in the comics today. When a hipster young people's fad appears in the fogiest of newspaper comics, you know it's dead.

Please do not disparage, for this a timely death.

steampunk has been around for quite a while, and this genre has produced very little of substance. It's mainly about a phony Victorian re-creation,where everyone is a crazed goggle-wearing inventor, and the women show flesh and are addressed by their first name sans "Miss" or Missus". The most prominent pop culture eruption was an epic movie failure,"The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen". steampunk is a lot like "The Wild,Wild West" gone bad.

However, steampunk has motivated many young people to read Jules Verne's classics. That is a good thing.

BTW, I recommend the very short "Paris in the 20th Century" by Verne. My local library had a copy. Although this story was deemed too scandalous to publish during Verne's lifetime, it is shocking how much he got right about life in the Western World in the early 1960s.

Time to clear the air, as I'm doing finger warm-up exercises for NaNoWriMo.

No, dammit, this isn't steampunk.

Astute readers may have noticed my (unwritten to date) Novel for this year is about steam and steel. Rest assured,this is an alternate history,not a steampunk fanfic. CAVEAT: I am in no way guaranteeing the final result won't be an alternate history fanfic. I'll read what's there in December,and my evaluation will determine whether or not it's fanfic. Basically, if it sucks, it's fanfic.

My original intent here is to stick to the reality for which steampunk is no more than a sad, adolescent revisionist fantasy. This raises some challenges. I have not yet found an opening to present a female character of worth. Victorian women in gentry and professional class families lived pretty separately from the "men's world". Victorian Englishmen rarely even spoke of their wives. Certainly, speaking of a single woman was out of the question, unless I introduce a cad.

Fortunately, Jules Verne was a little more open this way, but not much. An interesting factoid about Verne and women in his stories - in one of his novels, a female gearhead-type character wore trousers. The publishers edited that descriptive bit out. I guess that was too risque for his teenage boy readers of the time.

I said, No, Dammit,this isn't steampunk.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Halloween Meets the World Series and What Will the Neighbors Think

2010-10-29T16:14:00.000-07:00

It's Halloween coming on Sunday. What better night for (possibly) a bunch of freaks to wrap up the world series? Tim Lincecum has always looked a little like Jack Skellington to me. Perhaps I remembered skellington a little different from how he was drawn. But the builds are similar. You don't see many pro athletes two inches taller than me and only about ten pounds heavier.

Back to the subject. Halloween's game will be great no matter what happens Saturday, with the Giants up 2 games to none today (Friday).

If the Giants win tomorrow, Sunday will be for the sweep. (Funny how the East coast media was discussing a Rangers' overwhelming victory until the series started. “After all”, wrote the East Coast media, since the Rangers already beat the Yankees, the World Series would be nothing more than a stop at the bank for the Rangers to pick up their paycheck.. It's actually a shame that the Ranger's performance in these first two games suggests they were drinking the same cool aid. I don't know if they'll have time to recover.

If the rangers win Saturday, then we have a real World Series (versus a World arse whipping) again. Either way, All Hallows eve promises to have a good game.

I had to face a Halloween dilemma. Go to DMIL's house to watch the Giants game on her “giant” HDTV, or watch at home and deal with the local candy mendicants? Although we have gotten very few trick-or-treaters in the last few years, I have always been there to feed the miniature pro athletes, fairy-ballerina-princesses, cartoon characters and various spawns of Satan that come to my door on this magic evening. However, the last couple of years we have only had four or five kids come by.

We've watched a lot of Giant's games at the DMIL's place, in the season when it seemed like the Giants would amount to absolutely nothing. So, there is a precedence at work.

Here's the rub. Every Halloween, the local authorities make a big media splash about how the Megan's Law sex offenders have to turn off their porch lights and not be seen to avoid some kind of prosecution (or persecution, depending on whom you ask). What if someone new to the 'hood thinks I might be hiding out for that reason? Speaking of Megan's law, apparently there are a few spooky actors in my zip code. It's all that hype screeched through the TV news that keeps the nervous Nelly mom's from taking their precious snookums out to ask me and the other neighbors for candy. So, every year I end up with a big bag of candy. I get the good stuff (mini candy bars), so I end up eating it. Even though chocolate gives me heartburn.

Aha, since no one goes out trick-or-treating, no one will notice. Maybe I can get our neighbor to hand out our candy as “from next door”. Any way it happens, I say effit, I'm watching the game at DMIL's and eating smoked bratwurst and artichokes, both on sale at Raley's this week. Life is sweet!

Well, it's another posting that lacks coherence and makes nearly no sense at all, beyond this truth I hold self-evident. . .

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

My Knead-No- Brain Bread Versus Trendy No-Knead-Bread

2010-10-26T12:42:00.000-07:00

No-brain,what's up with that?

Well, someone asked for my bread recipe, so it's time to share.

First a couple of things, one short comment and one small "breaditorial";

Comment: The recipe might not work out great the first time you try it. Bread making is a skill that quickly improves with practice.

Like most hand made small batch bread,what I have is more of a methodology than a recipe. The clearest directions I can produce aren't very precise. Because I make this every week when the weather isn't too hot (about 6 mos of the year here) my hands have learned what to do without that much help from the brain.

Breaditorial: No-knead bread has become a craze. I don't like it because no-knead recipes produce a loaf with an uneven and sometimes doughy texture inside. I admit the crust is nice and its good with soup.

If you want a bread with an even texture that will meet all your bread needs for the week, you need to knead it.

Here's a good photo of the no-knead bread that is the rage:

Note the very nice crusty and the uneven and doughy texture.

Here' s what you'll get using my method:

You need this tight and uniform texture so that the bread will keep well and be good for a sandwich five days after baking. I can do this from start to finish in the time of one NFL game.

Here's everything you need to know (or, was the Knead to no?)

These directions are very specific. I tried to make this goof proof. It isn't as hard as it looks.

Knead No-Brain Bread

Before you begin:

Buy one five pound sack each of bread flour and whole wheat flour.Mix together in a big bug-proof container. Buy either Red Star or Fleischman's Quick Rising Yeast. It's a lot cheaper by the jar than by the paper envelope.

Prepare the dough:

Note: this step before the risings will takes 2o to 30 minutes.

Put a large teakettle full of water on the range to boil.

Clean the kitchen before you start. Trust me, it'll be easier in the end.

Find a clean and dry surface to work the dough. I use a Tupperware pastry sheet.

Put a shallow roasting pan on the oven's bottom.

Get out everything you'll need:
flour
measuring spoons
salt
sugar
yeast
large mixing bowl
Large, sturdy mixing spoon
scraper or sturdy spatula
Dry 1 cup measure
2 cup measuring cup (metric helps)
Two buttered bread pans (like these)
Wire drying rack

By the time you've gathered all this stuff,the water should be boiling.
Pour 1 1/8 cup (about 275 ml) boiling water in the bowl.
Add 1 tbsp sugar and 1 tbsp salt, stir to dissolve.
Pour 1 1/8 cup (about 275 ml) cold water in the bowl.
Stir in about 1/4 cup flour.
Add 2 1/4 tsps or 1 envelope Quick Rising Yeast.
Add four cups flour and stir into a batter.
Add flour one cup at a time and stir, until the dough is firm enough to knead.
Knead in the bowl, adding more flour,and knead on your clean surface.
Knead for 5 minutes, and make sure there's enough flour on the kneading surface.

Once the dough is needed, return to the bowl, put bowl in oven to rise. Pour the remaining boiling water in the roasting pan to keep warm damp environment for yeast.

Let rise for 45 minutes.

Gently Punch dough down,replace water in roasting pan with more boiling water, and rise for another 45 minutes.

Remove dough and punch down again.
Divide into two pieces (I use a scale to check).
form two loaves, place in buttered pans,and rise in oven for 30 minutes.

Leave the loaves in the oven, but remove the roasting pan.
turn oven heat to 415 degrees f.

Remove bread after 45 minutes.
Turn out of pans onto wire cooling rack.

Let cool for at least 20 minutes.

Trust me, it's good.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Got Coulrophobia,The Fear of Clowns?

2010-10-21T14:37:00.000-07:00

As if Insane Clown Posse isn't enough, try this on for size.

Be scared. Be very scared.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it like cotton candy.

Middle Eastern Style Vegetables and Couscous

2010-10-21T13:54:00.000-07:00

I made this for lunches this week,and K's coworkers have been asking for the recipe. No picture, because this isn't much to look at. I developed this recipe by trying to duplicate the couscous dish at the curiously spelled Shahrazad restaurant in Milwaukee. Looking at their menu brings back fond memories of steaming plates and honey-drenched desserts. And,they serve Sprecher beer.

Vegetable Stew to Serve Over Couscous

One half cup of dried Garbanzo beans,soaked overnight, or1 15 oz can of garbanzo beans drained and rinsed

2 Tablespoons olive oil

Two medium size onions, diced

2 lbs zucchinis, cut into 1 ½ inch thick rounds

1 lb cut green beans, fresh or frozen

1 lb carrots,in 1 ½ inch rounds

1 lb potatoes in 1 ½ in chunks

45 oz (three cans) canned diced tomatoes in juice

½ TSP salt

1TBSP dried parsley, or ¼ cup fresh parsley

1 TSP ground

¼ to ½ TSP cayenne

¼ tsp cumin

Optional – up to 1 TBSP paprika

Sweat the onions in a large stove top stew pot.

Add the other ingredients and simmer and occasionally for two hours,or until potatoes and carrots are cooked through.

After cooking, you can add braised or grilled meat if you like.

Serve over couscous.

About couscous -

I buy in bulk at whole foods. The stuff in boxes usually have rice-a-roni style flavorings. Not good. Follow the directions that come with your couscous. It varies.

All Music Great and Small

2010-10-21T10:05:00.000-07:00

Over the last year or two I have been working to play music in smaller groups. I still plan to stay in the large Sacramento Concert Band, but from recorder playing I realized I enjoy playing with smaller groups. Even Norman Rockwell knew the joy of playing in a small ensemble.

I've gotten firmly into a trio with two flute players, and next week will start rehearsing with a recorder trio.

It takes some effort to get small groups started and keep them going. But, once people agree to play together, it's only a matter of figuring out whose house to meet at this week. There's a lot more that goes into organizing a larger group, dealing with a practice venue, directors, reams of music and all sorts of equipment and expenses. It's hard to do without sponsorship of a city, park or school district. Compare that to trolling the internet for some music, emailing a couple of people and saying, “Let's go to my place this time”.

There's still a lot to be said for the large group. I like the dependable schedule, we rehearse on Monday nights whether or not everyone can make it. The downside comes in performance – finding a time when 50 people can make themselves available, and trucking percussion equipment and 50 chairs and stands. I takes 3 people a couple of hours to get this all done. In a trio, each of us shows up with

our instruments, a stand, and a folder full of music. If we choose to play standing, we don't even need chairs.

Playing in a small group is a different experience, you can hear your “voice”. In a large group, since I am not a soloist, if I can hear myself as a unique voice, I know I'm doing something wrong. In a small group it's about figuring out what my voice should say, and how to say it.

Although there's a place for big, I have to say “Small is Beautiful”.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Sacramento's Homeless Ghetto- Back to The Distopic Future

2010-10-13T14:45:00.000-07:00

I started my day with the best of intentions.

I had a mission to deliver some used durable medical equipment to someone who should know someone who can use walkers, toilet seat boosters and some adult sanitary disposable things.

I headed down to the Loaves and Fishes Complex, which takes up several blocks in a struggling Sacramento post-industrial jumble of shacks and abandoned wharehouses just northeast of downtown. Although you can say it is widely known that Sacramento is plagued with serious homelessness issues (and blessed with an unbelievable ability to ignore what can plainly be seen), I was disturbed by what I saw.

What I saw(and felt from my surroundings) , to put it bluntly, can only be described a calm but unraveling permanent state of near anarchy. Loaves and Fishes does a lot of good things for the homeless population. They have become so large their facilities cluster dominates an entire neighborhood. Two city blocks of small overcrowded social service and clinic providers, huddles of people waiting in clusters outside each door, the street and spaces between the buildings peppered with more huddled groups.

This is the stuff of dystopic near-future science fiction. Although everything always looks great in Loaves and Fishes' plubicity photos ,the look and feel of the place on a Wednesday midmorning is more like the sanctuary district from Deep Space Nine.

It seems unavoidable. We write off 10% or 20% of people as surplus,and this is what you get.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Typos - The Good The Bad and The Just Plain Weird

2010-10-12T12:11:00.001-07:00

This recently published correction to a blog (not mine) is sure to become a meme within a week or two.

Here we go:

"Correction:

This blog post originally stated that one in three black men who have sex with me is HIV positive. In fact, the statistic applies to black men who have sex with men. "

This appeared in TBD..., A District of Columbia local issues blog.

This has all three attributes of a great typo.

It is good (for a laugh).

It is bad (because it changes the tone and meaning of the entire posting)

It is weird (because a personal confession and muffled cry for help magically appeared in what should have been a rather dry community affairs posting).

Not to mention it is sure to become a smash hit with adolescent boys of all ages.

This brings up a more relevant issue: I really need to get more serious about my own copy editing.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

NaNoWriMo - Here We Go Again

2010-10-10T20:32:00.000-07:00

We are pulling up to Halloween,the end of October and the beginning of November,and the return of NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writers Month).

The goal of this is to write a 50,000 or more word novel in the month of November. No time to editor judge,you just write and deal with the mess you've made later.

This year I have a plan and a storyline (actually four story lines).

This is it!!

The SS Great Eastern was the greatest ship ever built. The ship touched the lives of some of the greatest men of its century.

This is the story of SS The Great Eastern and four men; Isambard Kingdom Brunel, Lord Kelvin, Jules Verne,and possibly Augustus Cary (Fifth mate on the GE's maiden voyage and my wife's great great grandfather).

I did this last year by shooting for about2,000 words per day, realizing I would miss a few days. I made it and was officially declared a "winner", with The Noetic Book of the Undead.

Last year I startedplanning about two days left in October, so I had very little in the way of plot ideas or initial structure. The novel started with a guy who traveled between our world and the Noosphere, where he met up with a dead relative and (naturally) a zombie onslaught. Inexplicably, the novel ended with a story of Buddhist monks using their medititave power to prevent Chinese hegemonists (think Dr No) from dominating the Noosphere by filling it with Mega-Mart stores. Contrary to the Chinese plan, the stores produced hoards of rather pale, portly couch zombies (just like real life).

Someday I might take time to make a short story based on the monks versus Dr No plot line. Otherwise, I probably won't show last year's novel to anyone. Most of it is awesomely bad, so I decided to do very little editing.

When I wrote this, I hadn't yet realized that a lot of otherwise level-headed people truly believe all this Noosphere business. I thought it was just an alternate world used by SF authors, since I hadn't imagined that anyone beyond adolescence could take such a concept seriously. It's amazing what you can write in a dissertation and still be granted a PHD from a second-tier university.

Some of the serious philosophical writings about memes and the Noosphere make last year's novel look downright brilliant by comparison.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Lessons in Urban Planning – Madison, Wisconsin's Crestwood Neighborhood

2010-10-08T19:37:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, "place" is important. Being in a good place can nurture a good life.

I visited my friends J and C in Madison's Crestwood Neighborhood (Officially known as the Wisconsin Co-Op Housing Association Neighborhood). I love visiting here, in this most beautiful neighborhood. I always try to spend a little extra time with J and C at their house.

I had to ask myself why I like being there (beyond the fact that J and C live there). After all, J and C's house is nothing special, actually, it's pretty similar to my house in Sacramento. Around 1,000 square feet, just enough room for a few bookshelves, living room, and kitchen. Everything is in ship shape, because that's J's way. However, that's not it.

Crestwood is located in a leafy part of Madison's near west side, full of wooded parks, hills and narrow meandering streets. The trees are definitely part of the attraction,. But that's still not it. There's something more. A sense of place. As soon as I stepped out of my car, I knew I was somewhere special, somewhere different, yet reminiscent of my childhood summers, spent playing ball and collecting caterpillars in vacant suburban lots. (OK, I spent wasted hours in front of the toob, too).

Crestwood is a neighborhood where the most common sounds are birds flying from feeder to feeder and kids running on grass hooting and giggling and just being goofy like kids do. The light is that calming green aura of sunlight filtered through sprawling trees. It is quiet. It reminds me of wooded campsites in some Wisconsin State parks'

How can a suburban neighborhood feel so pleasingly sylvan? To be honest, I have no idea how the association works, but I can see the how the land is used. I think that's a big part of the story. Crestwood''s individually owned lots are pretty small, and the houses are modest and varied in design . Most lots are heavily wooded. Between each pair of streets a grass area about 20 feet wide runs between the rows of back yards, leading from Bordner road to the wooded parkland behind the neighborhood. These narrow strips of land are used as public play areas for kids and offer an automobile-free route from each house to the wooded park. I remember using the strip behind J and C's house as a cross country skiing express rout to the park one nippy winter day long ago.

I guess the lots could have each been ten feet deeper, and everyone's house could have been that much bigger. They could have planted fewer large trees and poured wider streets with curbs and gutters so prospective home buyers could get that nice, clean, sterile, safe suburban view from the curve that real estate floggers claim sell houses. Maybe almost everywhere else in America, but not here. Yep, I imagine that folks who live here chose to give up the normal architectural paradigm where your house is a badge of success (i.e. , how many gables do you have, I have four, you two - gabled loser).

Here we have a more quiet environment, and the feel of a southern Wisconsin deciduous forest. This is where I go to watch the birds visit J and C's feeder. I always see at least one cardinal. I always leave happy and calm.

There is no other place in Madison where people live and I can feel so connection to his beautiful land,

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Getting There - A Day of Air Travel

2010-10-08T19:26:00.000-07:00

Today is one of those inevitable days lost to travel. Nothing much you can say about a day like this beyond whinging about the quaint and trite realities of contemporary air travel. I can say, “my flight was on time, it was delayed, the luggage was or wasn't lost, TSA is a pain in the ass, felt crunched in my seat, it's not like it used to be.”

Today's experience was a little different than the normal, since I took flights that started at 11:00 AM instead of the unusual 0-dark thirty flight. As limited as options are between two Podunk towns like Sacramento and Madison, I was able to sleep through the 6:00 AM at the airport drill. K dropped me off on the way to work, so I got to hang around the airport from about eight AM to ten thirty. For the most part, leaving mid-day freed me from the usual crowds and waiting. Alas, I was not totally free.

After getting dropped off I hazily dragged my luggage to the check in line, passing empty counters and deserted baggage claim carousels. The Third World Frontier airlines I booked had a counter around a couple of corners from the main ticketing and check-in area. I was surprised to see a line of about 15 very glum looking people in line. I pulled up to the back of the line, towing my suitcase behind me. The line just didn't move. The sordid truth wasn't revealed to me until I asked the person in front of me if she was taking the 11:00 flight. She, and everyone else in line was very charitable about telling me the 9:00 flight had been canceled. The airline didn't have enough staff in Sacramento to handle rescheduling all the passengers. I was told it was a much grimmer scene by the gate.

Most of the jilted passengers were still in good cheer, pleasantly joking about their predicament, even a 50 year old guy at risk of missing his daughter's wedding in Oklahoma. Then came the screamer, that self-presumed possessor of great entitlement who angled herself between the passenger being served and the counter and peppered the attendant and the entire line with a litany of high pitched complaints. As if everybody else around hadn't already figured out this sucked.

The already stressed agent sent her to the back of the line (next to me, egads!). She loudly and shrilly resumed her tale of woe. Although our heads might have been a couple of feet apart, she was speaking in a stage voice, for the benefit of all. Something about how she was accustomed to good service and. . . I hope all that screeching hasn't robbed me of the ability to hear pitches.

Another agent set up a third line and called me forward since I was the only person there who was already booked for the next flight. It was a breeze for me after that. I sat in the food court outside security and nursed a coffee for an hour and a half while enjoying counter with a view of the runway and a place to plug in the computer. Sacramento's airport now has free internet. Free wifi and free electricity, w00t!

I did the quixotic and incomprehensible walk through the security gauntlet with no delay. In the early morning that step usually takes 20 minutes or more. After 10:00 there was no one waiting in line, and the TSA people seemed a little less surly than normal. The area near the gate had a less jolly feel. I was surprised to find a long line of refugees from the earlier flight still waiting in line to be dealt their fate. They didn't look happy. Given my 11:00 flight was the last Frontier flight to Denver, I suspect they were out of luck. The line still had about twenty people when I boarded my flight at 11:00.

Everybody says the U.S. Is running a Service Economy, but if this is how we do service, we are history.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Yosemite Confidential - Beyond the Vistas

2010-10-03T12:23:00.000-07:00

This posting is about the grimy details of our trip to Yosemite. Having never gotten our act together to do all the crazy booking ahead you need to do if you want to go on your own. It turned out taking the guided hiking trip was the thing to do. We never would have done so much and enjoyed it like we did if we had gone on our own. No pictures, because I really don't do the travel critic-writer thing.

We booked with New England Hiking Holidays, a company we've used before, for trips to Colorado and New Hampshire. Beyond marketing and booking the trip, everything was operated by Tahoe Trips and Trails. I thought these package trips worked out to be a fair deal. It was worth the extra price. Going on our own for the first time, we probably would have done about half as much, since navigating Terra incognito always eats up a lot of time. In any event, there is no cheap and easy way to do Yosemite. Staying in a room in or near the park costs from about $250 to $1,200 per night in season, and dinners out are $30 to $60. You probably could get car camping or housekeeping tent-cabins I the park for around $100 per night. I've always found managing the campsite takes a lot of time and we end up doing less when we camp. For me, this is a time to let a little loose and go “first class”. Every trip I have taken with New England Hiking Holidays has been money well spent.

The total driving time was 4 hours and 15 minutes, including an efficient yet relaxed lunch at a great Mexican restaurant in Merced. Driving time alone was about three and three quarter hours.

We ate at La Fiesta Mexicana (pronounced La Feeyesta Mayhicana). This place was far better than any Mexican restaurant I've ever eaten at in Sacramento. That is not a great prize, but this place was beyond good by any standard. Breakfast was still available (we're talking heuvos, compadres), so I had fried eggs with Chile verde, beans, and delicious homemade tortillas. They offered a choice of corn or flour tortillas, of course I chose the corn. It was a real surprise to see hot, freshly grilled tortillas. There is nothing as uninspiring as a mediocre tortilla, and no simple food as spirit-lifting as a well-made fresh tortilla.

The chile verde was perfect, the sauce fragrant with lime and chile. flavors covering the eggs. A few chunks of tender pork, stewed in the salsa verde, sat atop the mess. There was no cheese involved in the dish. It is great to be able to enjoy a Mexican restaurant plated meal plate without having to peel back greasy a greasy skin of, flavorless cheese. La Fiesta Mexicana did it all right. Plus, the young hostess had the most awesome bouffant type up do I've seen since LT Ryker of the Starship Enterprise. All this and mariachis at Sunday noon.

The first two hours to Merced was a straight shot down highway 99, which gos through a line of crummy cities in the central valley. After leaving Suburban Elk Grove HW 99 graces Lodi, Stockton, French Camp, Turlock, Modesto and Merced. These are not the most visually attractive cities in the world, but Modesto did look like it had some nice trees. Modesto and American Graffiti are linked in my mind for eternity.

In Merced, we turned East on HW 140 to cross the eastern edge of the Central Valley and climb into the Sierras. We turned on HW 49 and then HW41 to get to Tenaya Lodge just outside the Yosemite Park South entrance, which is more commonly known as the Wawona entrance.

Tenaya Lodge seemed like a nice place although it was a bit stuffy in a business meeting destination hotel kind of way. The location in the town of Fish camp is so far out of the way that I can't imagine anyone going through the time and expense to have a business meeting here. The place is very nice, but they did one thing that peeved me. They claim to offer free wifi. It's free if you want to look at their website. Anything else is $9.99 a day. Seems to me free wifi should be free wifi. No need to be ashamed about asking people to pay for a service. Free wifi but not internet is a little too cute for my tastes.

A while back, I heard a report on an NPR business show (I think it was Marketplace) that discussed disappointing results in selling wifi services to captive audiences. When people attach to the free network, and are asked to pay for internet access (get it, the wifi is free but, heehee, you pay to access the internet) they aren't buying. Even airlines must someday learn the lesson that people have a limit to how much chiseling they can bear.

Since we left early, we arrived a the lodge around 2:00 PM. We explored the property since we had a few hours to kill before. The lobby was large, clubby, and full of taxidermy. The rooms were nice, although we had to switch rooms since the door lock on the first room refused to lock. Everyone was very helpful, making it easy to change rooms.

The Package Tour officially began at about 6:00 PM, after the tour guides arrived with the guests they had picked up at the Merced airport. We and one other couple drove ourselves, since parking in Merced and getting picked up would have been inconvenient and not much less driving for us.

Our was meeting brief. We met the other hikers and the guides, filled out forms, heard a quick description of the tour. We were already busy talking with some of the other hikers before the guides arrived. We were fortunate that everyone in our party was nice and pleasant.

We had three guides, the normal staff of two guides and a third guide who was training either to be a guide or to be whatever the internet-age reincarnation of what we once called the travel agent. All the guides were nice. CJ was a fortyish guy well versed in the geography and geology of the Sierras, and a passion fro extreme mountain sports. He was able to deal with this herd of over age fifty hikers well He knew some jugglers I once knew and he had recently attended the inexplicable Burning Man. Brooke was a bit more talkative and full of blonde jokes. Brooke took charge of botany interpretation,; I admit most of the taxonomy went in one of my ears and out the other. Both Brooke and CJ looked like outdoor gear catalog models. Both Brooke and Cj work in alternative therapies. Brooke does Reiki and some other loosely defined touch-related therapies, and CJ does hypnotherapy.

Two of our fellow hikers were female Doctors, one a prim New Englander, schooled at Mount Holyoke and Harvard Medical School, and the other was a brash New Yorker. I was happy that we never had any exchanged accusations of quackery, or at least none that I heard. There were a few close calls.

The guides drove us about 20 minutes south for dinner at the The Narrow Gauge Inn. This is a pretty well respected restaurant in a complex that I guess has a narrow gauge railroad. It was too dark to see enough outside to be able to tell. The restaurant's interior was major upscale mountain kitsch, paneling, moose heads and all the rest. The food was good. We all sat at one big table, about eight guests and three guides (two guides and a guide in training). Each place had a menu card. Almost everyone chose the salmon, which was good. Everything else involved either beef or cream sauce, so my hand was a little forced. They had an excellent assortment of desserts. I had a piece of very light and fluffy cheesecake. It was good. Because of unexpected flight delays, the dinner was pretty late, so I didn't sleep well. It turned out that the dinners were the most physically challenging aspect of the trip for me.

The Tenaya has a great breakfast buffet. I had oatmeal with a little trail mix, some dried fruit and sausage. This was the second best breakfast sausage I've had. It had a real skin that “popped” when at the bite , and it was peppery and slightly juicy. The best sausage ever was at The American Club in Koehler near Sheboygan..

After two days, we are staying at the Yosemite Lodge, which is a bit run down but comfortable place to stay in Yosemite Valley. The restaurant at Yosemite lodge was pretty good. They had a pink-fleshed trout that was pretty light as restaurant dinners go and tasty. The room was dark, but it had an old-style mountain resort style that fit with its environment.

We ate dinner at the Wawona Lodge, I don't know why every old posh park hotel makes me think about The Shining.

The next morning, we started with an early breakfast, leaving the Lodge at 7:00 to drive about a mile to Curry Village, which is a complex of several campgrounds, some with permanent hard-floored tent structures, some with trailer hookups, and some for tent campers. It is a huge complex. Brooke had previously told me I would like the atmosphere. She was right. Curry Village has a gigantic buffet place where we had a great breakfast. There were a lot of kids around, which is something I hadn't seen at the lodges. I imagine the cost of visiting Yosemite keeps many young families away.

We shared a table with a tall, quiet and wiry man from Germany who was spending today preparing to begin an ascent of El Capitan tomorrow. He expected his group's ascent to take four days. That means three nights sleeping on the side of a nearly mile high vertical rock wall, not to mention carrying your wastes with you in a bag suspended from your waist by a very long rope.. He ate like he was preparing for a marathon. He reminded me of a younger Werner Herzog. I imagine the rock face will scream in painful angst.

Our last night featured an extra special dinner at the ultra posh Ahwahnee. We all had to bring special cloths to comply with the dining room's dress code. The lounges were classic 1920's park hotel style, reminiscent of The Shining. The dining room looked like a giant version of a Saxon Mead hall, which was fitting, since the otherwise dainty Ivy League doctor studied medieval British literature as an undergraduate. We ate dinner in fine restaurants throughout the trip. Funny that this was the one place where service was a problem. The dinners at the Mountain Room were excellent as well. The had the pink fleshed trout and it was wonderful again.

I approve of this trip.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Yosemite Part 3 Omnibus - Mariposa Grove, Vernal Falls and Mirror lake

2010-09-30T17:15:00.000-07:00

This final Yosemite travelblogue is about the other places we hiked. Although these hikes did not merit separate blog posts in my judgment, these places are worth visiting. Hopefully, after reading this post, you'll know why.

Mariposa Grove is a large grove of giant redwoods. These are the rather stubby and huge Giant Sierra Redwoods, known as sequoia Gigantum.These trees agre very wide around the base and produce low quality wood that isn't good for much beyond toothpicks. I find the cleaner shaped and taller Coastal Redwoods (Sequioa Semper Verens) to be more attractive.

Our hike was at Mariposa Grove had a fair amount of elevation, about 1,000 feet over the day. We walked from the lower grove to the upper grove. Our trail was crisscrossed by a paved road carrying loads of people in theme-park style trams. that made the whole thing kind of weird. The trams give passengers headphones, so we couldn't hear the nature interpretation rap. The trams just kept on sneaking up on us.

The trees were pretty cool. Like all frequently visited Giant Redwood Groves, the trees had all sorts of corny names and lore. This famous tree is around 1,900 to 2,400 years old.

A group picture in front of a giant tree is mandatory here.

I found this almost perfectly shaped ponderosa pine on a ridge during our walk from the upper grove back to the lower grove.

This place is an important place in the history of land preservation and National Parks.

Mariposa Grove was the home of Galen Clark in the 1860s. He is a great guardian of the world's beautiful natural places. He convinced President Lincoln and Congress to declare Yosemite a preserve (at that time, management of the preserve was given to the State of California). This was the first time in Western Civilization that land was set aside as a nature preserve. It is amazing this was done in during the difficult years of the Civil War. Clark was known as the "guardian of Yosemite". Although Clark played an equally vital role in preserving this land, John Muir got all the ink.

Clark built a cabin in the upper grove and lived there for years. He was probably as surprised as anybody,since he came to Yosemite after his doctor gave him six months to live. He found his cure in the mountain air.

Galen's cabin is now a small museum, and the trams stop there.

Vernal Falls is a contrary name, since this was the only waterfall in Yosemite Valley that was still running in September.

The approach to the fall is via mist trail,which starts at a trail head accessible by the Park Service bus. The hike starts on mist trail, a pretty level hike that would have taken us through the waterfall's mist if there was more water falling.

The last stretch of the trail is a little more difficult, following a steep staircase cut into the canyon's wall. The staircase gave great views of the fall.

Even with a view, after a few hundred stairs, it started feeling like Cirith Ungol from Lord of The Rings. It all depends on how you set the shutter speed.

But there's nothing like a 300 foot waterfall.

Every few steps, the view changed.

We stopped at the top of the falls for a while. The river created a large,smoothed surface from its spring flows.

We could look up to Nevada Falls, another break further up the bluffs. Nevada Falls has a similar staircase trail, but we decided to skip that. Up close, it's reputed to look like Vernal Falls - The Sequel.

We continued to a junction to the John Muir Trail, which we took us back to the trail head via a much more gradual but less interesting route At the junction, we were greeted by an man with a John Muir beard walking in the opposite direction. When we first spotted him at a distance, we wondered if we were fated to meet John Muir's ghost. He let me take his picture, so you don't have to believe me; here's the truth.

At this high point of the trail, we had great views of Grizzly and Liberty domes across the valley, with half dome peeking over their ridge.

Our last hike was from the end of Yosemite Valley on the Mirror Lake Trail. Mirror lake has pretty much drained out since the natural dam that formed the lake shook loose after an earthquake. The trail head is at the last bus stop in the valley (you can't drive there). This gentle trail goes into the narrow and high-walled Tenaya valley. We were in the shadows for the entire walk.

Not surprising, there's a lot of loose rocks around. This warning sign made me laugh.

The most striking scene on this trail was man-made - a grove of cairns. No one seems to know who built the cairns or why someone took the time to move all those stones. It was like stumbling into a Japanese temple.

This was our last hike in Yosemite, we drove home in the afternoon.

These last three posts have all the pretty pictures. I may write further about the human aspects of visiting this National Park. It was a little strange

Until that day,

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Yosemite Part Two - Tuolumne Meadows

2010-09-29T14:31:00.000-07:00

Tuolumne Meadows is in the less-visited northeast section of the park. These high altitude Meadows and domes lie among the tributaries of the Tuolumne River.

The lower altitude meadows in the area are at about 8,000 feet elevation. That's the beginning of minor nosebleed territory for me.

K and I took different hikes. My group took an out-and-back hike along a portion of the Muir Trail from Tioga Pass Road past Cathedral Peak and on to Cathedral Lake. Kathleen's group followed a portion of the trail further East, for a less strenuous hike through Lyell Canyon, along the Lyell fork of the Tuolomne River. Her walk was through a series of small streams and expansive alpine meadows.

West of Tuolumne Meadows, the Tuolumne River was dammed to form the Hetch Hetchee Reservoir, which inundated a valley said to be as spectacular as Yosemite Valley itself. John Muir died around the time this project was conceived. Some say he died of a broken heart. Although this gigantic reservoir is the primary supply of water for San Francisco and its neighboring communities, the Restore Hetch Hetchee Movement has had a healthy following for years.

Perversely, from its inception this movement has been a hobby horse of anti-green conservatives. The Reagan administration couldn't resist an issue where San Francisco Liberals would scream foul (apparently, San Francisco liberals like their water more than John Muir's legacy) at a Federal effort to improve the environment on the backs of left coasters rather than the usual southeastern coal miners and western ranchers.

Enough about political backstabbing. Back to the main story.

On the way to the trail heads, both parties stopped at Olmstead Point, a turnout with another scenic view of meadows overlooked by several peaks and domes. The marker credited Frederick Law Olmstead with “designing the park”. That lead to a continuing shtick about how Disney turned Olmstead's design into reality. In actuality, I suspect (but I am not sure) Olmstead's contribution was in laying out the roads and paths in Yosemite valley, which are absolutely great. People can start at the Yosemite Village hotel area, cross the street and walk about 200 yards on the path to Yosemite falls and feel like they are in a natural setting. Olmstead was a genius at that. Even Central park feels like a walk in the country if you don't look up. I think he uses a lot of unnecessary curves and minor trail obstacles to get the effect.

My hike started with a long first mile and a half, walking through wooded trails gaining about 1,000 feet in altitude. It was tiring at that altitude. The forest on the slope was beautiful, despite the fine, dry "California moon dust" that coats most California trials, as well as most hikers in September. I walked alone for a while, between the advanced and rear guards. The quiet on this slope in the morning was noticeable. This was a pleasantly wooded slope, but nothing really caused me to take any pictures.

The next mile was through relatively flat but undulating terrain and a boulder field that looked like it may have been formed as an alluvial fan following an ancient flood, but I couldn't see an obvious place from where the flow would have come.

At this point, we were walking by the base of Cathedral Peak. Unlike John Muir, we didn't climb the peak. We were near 10,000 feet altitude at its base, and the climb is rated technical (although Muir probably just ran up the mountain using his bare hands and feet) . For me, physical exertion loses its appeal at that kind of altitude. When we left the wooded area, we were directly under this amazing peak.

John Muir had a lot to say about Cathedral peak and Cathedral lakes in "My First Summer in the Sierra"

". . .the wonderful mountain called Cathedral Peak is in sight.
From every point of view it shows marked individuality. It
is a majestic temple of one stone, hewn from living rock,
and adorned with spires and pinnacles in regular cathedral
style. The dwarf pines on the roof look like mosses. I hope
some time to climb it to say my prayers and hear the stone
sermons. . . "

We passed a great example of fire succession, a new forest probably 20 years after a fire.

We descended to a meadow that seemed a little boggy, with Cathedral peak looking down on us. The ground cover vegetation was a rusty color. With the peak in the background, this spot made a perfect backdrop for portraits.

After I did it, everybody wanted in.

The meadow gently descended into a boggy marsh between the peak and a shelf of nearly horizontal rock that gently sloped to cathedral lake.

I found this Jeffrey Pine that made me think of a photo by Ansel Adams.

This was a beautiful place to have lunch. There's nothing like an alpine lake. These are part of the panorama surrounding our lunch spot.

We returned by the same path. Although we were on our own in the morning, we ran into several backpacking groups climbing the rise during our decent in the mid-afternoon. It seemed to me they would not get to their campsites until around 6:00 PM. Different strokes for different folks, I guess.

On the slightly puffing and gasping walk up the slope, I hadn't noticed the very large peak behind me and across a large meadow. I don't know what caused the crevasse in the rock face. Perhaps a tremor unloosed a boulder that scraped its way to the base.

K's hike through Lyell canyon is an example of the inspiration in nature for traditional Japanese gardens. Since I wasn't there, it's just the pictures.

Including the about 90 minute drive form Yosemite Valley, mostly on the death-defying Tioga Pass Road, this was a pretty long day. I only had about one half hour to clean up for dinner. Oh, the strain of rouging it!

Coming soon: Vernal falls and a few surprises.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Looking Into Yosemite Valley

2010-09-25T18:22:00.000-07:00

I'm starting this Yosemite trip report with what I thought was its most dramatic moment, our first view of the valley. Getting these views involved the better part of a full day hiking around. I strongly recommend this approach to Yosemite Valley for anyone visiting who is able to hike.

We walked in the same footprints and took in the same views as Teddy Roosevelt and John Muir. As if the scenery itself doesn't inspire enough awe.

Well, the view would have been the same, but at some point in the last 105 years, the National Park Service hired Disney inc. to colorize Yosemite Valley.

OK, in reality,our picture is from Sentinel Dome. Glacier point has been made accessible and rather unattractive since TR's day,but the view is still the same, but improved with Technicolor.

After packing up, we went directly to the Sentinel dome trail head on the south rim of Yosemite valley. About 1.1 miles with a good 400 ft elevation gain took us to Sentinel Dome. The last quarter mile or so was a scramble to the top of the exfoliating granite dome. We had to scramble up this slope to get the views.

In a National park,it usually takes a little work to reach something interesting that isn't bursting with screaming kids, snarling teens and shockingly unattractive adults.

The views from the dome were unbelievable. I have never seen anything like this in my life. Now I understand why taking in these views changed peoples lives, drove them to devote themselves to preserving the land. I have never experienced a breathtaking view before. This view really takes the breath away (some forest fires in the region helped, too). We looked across to the nearly mile high and wide vertical granite cliffs of El Capitan.

Since the views in every direction from Sentinel Dome were incredible, we went a little nuts with the cameras.

Here we are standing in front of the Yosemite Falls across Yosemite Valley. The falls were dry, but still cool to see. We stayed near the bottom of the falls the next three nights.

I was impressed with the view of El Capitan. A rock that big is just weird to see, especially when we could see down forever, and still not see the floor of the valley.

Sentinel Dome is a place where you can get a classic view of Half Dome to the East, without crowds pouring out of their campers. Somehow,we were more enchanted with the view looking West, although this view of half Dome to our East was compelling.

CJ the guide gave an impromptu talk about the geology of Yosemite Valley. He seemed to know a lot about the history and he was able to clearly share his knowledge. He looked like a model for REI while he gave his talk.

We took this trip with a tour company called Tahoe Trips and Trails. CJ was one of the three guides (two actual guides and one trainee) provided for our group of ten. Each day two hikers were offered, on e more strenuous and one less strenuous. I chose the more strenuous hike most days, with the exception of one day where the hikes sounded similar, only the more strenuous hike would have been much longer.

This is not the cheapest way to go, but we were assured a great trip, and we had a great trip. There's no way going it on our own would have been nearly the same experience. This is a good way to go if you can swing it.

Another two miles hike to the west brought us to Taft point, where the trail ends with a series of unimaginably deep fissures and vertical drop to the valley floor. From here I could really see how large these vistas were.

Standing on the edge of almost a mile vertical drop really made an impression of how big this all is. One of the advantages of walking a couple of miles from parking is that the park Service no longer feels the need to erect barriers. Even standing about five feet from the ledge was a little frightening.

One small area of the ledge had a railing to lean on, so I was able to get a couple of pictures looking down into Yosemite Valley. I needed the railing since I felt a little queasy whenever I went within a few feet of the ledge.

Here you can see all of El Capitan, from the bottom to the top.

This is the view looking down.

Here's a fissure you might fall into if you don't watch your step.

We ended our hiking with a 3 mile hike to Glacier point. This hike went between Sentinel Dome and the ledge. The trail rose about 300 feet before leveling into Glacier point. We saw the cutest fat little marmot beastie, sitting on a rock cantilevered over the edge of the bluff.

If I was there, I would be hunched down too.

We had an incredible view of Half Dome about a mile from Glacier point. This was one of several points where the trail walked along the edge of the valley's wall.

This is very similar to the distance view you can get from Glacier Point. However,the view seemed flatter from Glacier Point. Somehow the level paved surface and barriers surrounding Glacier Point made Half Dome appear more distant and less real. It seemed flat when I was looking out form a flat place. There's something to be said for the hightened presence you get when you know you are two steps from a 4000 foot drop.

We avoided the herds of pasty-faced flabby tourists until we came to Glacier point at the end of the day. Having hiked all day, we could have bathed ourselves in the smugness from quietly realizing only we and the European visitors appeared to have walked through anything except the giant parking lot.

However, once I noticed the Glacier Point Visitor Center sold ice cream bars, I got over the ugliness of the scene and enjoyed the creamy chocolate covered vanilla goodness.

We drove into Yosemite valley after our hiking. One entry to the valley is through the Wawona tunnel. I recommend this for anyone approaching the valley for the first time. As soon as we exited the tunnel, we were surrounded by granite walls bigger than the imagination can invent.

We stayed at the Yosemite Lodge, which is a frumpy but comfortable place to stay for some ungodly daily rate. The posh place in the valley, the Ahwanee, costs from $500 to $1,100 per night, depending on room and season. The restaurant at Yosemite lodge was pretty good. Although the west end of Yosemite Valley is full of Hotels, campgrounds and parking lots, there is still a lot of beauty right there. Frederick Olmstead's company did a brilliant job laying out the roads and trails.

This meadow scene was only a minute or two's walk our hotel's parking lot.

The views of the Valley's North walls were spectacular in the morning. I didn't expect a view like this from a parking lot. I never thought I'd see a hiking group's picture taken in a parking lot.

The morning light did cool things with the shadows.

That's Yosemite Valley. Look forward to reports from Mariposa Grove and Vernal Falls.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

I Warhol-ed Myself

2010-09-15T19:08:00.000-07:00

I decided to revise my Major Kong image with the hope of getting a more grim yet cartoonish (in a dark anime sort of way) effect. Trying to bring in a little Warhol influence, but still keep some sense of discipline here.

So, like the optometrist likes to say. . .

A. . .

or B...

I think A has more of the "pop star of death motif" that guides my aspirations.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

After A Long Hot Day . . .

2010-09-15T18:45:00.000-07:00

. . .with A ton or two of napalm between your legs, what could be better than a nice cold beer?

I'll tell you...BEER FRIED IN PRETZEL DOUGH!

That's right,the patent application has been filed. Soon we may see ravioloid looking fried things with hot beer in the middle. Oops, looks like the sample in the picture is leaking. I am starting to suspect this this idea doesn't have legs.

That said, the forum comments from Field & Stream readers seems supportive and enthusiastic, tempered by concern about the lack of bacon and cheese.

Speaking of Field & Stream, I must have been not paying attention when they started running romance stories. All I can say is that better be a female Brown Trout.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Dr Strangelove, Major Kongs Speedy Delivery Service - Low Megaton Version

2010-09-13T12:23:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago at the Local Air and Space Museum , I couldn't resist posing on this bomb strategically placed near open bomb bay doors. Take that, you darned feriners!

Thanks to DMIL for taking this picture.

I realize this is not quite as awesome as Major Kong's hot thermonuclear ride, being just a cute little napalm bomb. The museum didn't have a full sized Hydrogen bomb casing, and they wouldn't let me go prospecting to get me some of that renouned McClelland Park Plutonium.

But, I say what the heck. Getting burned at about a thousand degrees or about a million degrees (Fahrenheit, I think) would probably have the same effect on my active lifestyle.

On a totally unrelated issue, I just can't understand why those Iraqi ingrates don't love us. We spent a fortune on bombs just like this little beauty. All on their ungrateful behalf.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Is Brett Favre Yesterday's Story?

2010-09-10T11:35:00.001-07:00

During the Brett Bowl, I noticed the announcers' conspicuous lack of interest in all things Favre.Yesterday's Hangininsac traffic report showed only a doubling of normal hits, even though last year's similar posts increased hits by about five times.

Time to add two plus two together and get the answer:

Brett Favre is yesterday's news. He wasn't good enough to be a real story,and his play wasn't bad enough to raise schadenfreude.

It's time to say bye bye to Brett and Hello to Aaron Rodgers, who almost looks as goofy as Favre. Since when did football players get glam websites?

It must be all the indoor stadiums. This just ain't manly, Dammit!

That's my sotry and I'm sticking to it.

Blogging the Brett Bush Bowl 4th Quarter

2010-09-09T19:52:00.000-07:00

Color commentary this quarter.

Looks like the Saints found the handle on the Vikings offense.
Oh, god, no replay challenge!

The game has been pretty drama-free up to now.

The ruling stands. Surprise.

back to the game. Punt. Saints start on the 39.

Funny around here, when people talk about "the Saints" we usually mean Mormons.

The Saints are continuing to grind out a slow ground game. Booo-ooooooring. And Al Michaels is still droning on about the replay decision.

The Saints have ground it down to midfield. Thomas nearly broke a huge run, got about 7 yards.
The Saints are getting what they need running up the middle. snore. Still an occasional big pass. The Vikings defense has ceased to be a factor in this quarter.

Long TD pass - perfect pass by Breeze receiver bobbled. Another wide to the right FG attempt from The Saints. It's still a game.

Favre starts with a pass into triple coverage. Favre is not being treated as the big story by the announcers. He has no receivers. The Vikings don't look great this year. Maybe this is the Packers' Year. YEAH, THIS'LL BE THE YEAR! Even if the Pack doesn't win it all, I want to see them kick Favre's backside all over Lambeau.

Wow he just completed one of those crazy passes to midfield. Game is not over yet. But at 3rd and 11, it seems nearly over.

If I hadn't edged in about an hour of practice time during the game, I'd have to say this was a total waste of time.

Last years Brett Bowl was more exciting, I think it wasn't just my Packer fixation.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Blogging the Brett Bush Bowl 3rd Quarter

2010-09-09T19:00:00.000-07:00

Wow there's a giant fire in San Bruno, looks like a gas main or a plane crash.

Kickoff

Back to the3 Vikings ala Brett
Peterson starts off running to the sideline for a first down.
Another first down rush Peterson up the middle.
Second down Peterson again
Third down and a couple of yards Crappy long floating pass almost intercepted.
Punt and very little return.

First down will the Saints even try to rush?
They tried and got absolutely nothing.
Second and 10 Bush finally got in a decent run, 10 yds up the middle on an enema draw.
First down Bush again about 6 yds up the gut.
Another rushing first down.
Talking heads talking about the Heisman. Face it Bush's Heisman is toast. But Bush is too dumb to renounce it before they take it away.
Another rushing first down. Complete turnaround from the first half.
First down nice fake and bootleg by Breeze, but too slow Sack!
Second down offside 5 yds pass for 1st on the 21.
Swing pass inside the 10 yd line.
Non Bush back (Thomas I think) barrels through to the 1 yd line.
Thomas up the middle TD 14 9 Saints leading

I'm quitting the play by play after this quarter. Color announcing only. When the Packers or 49ers aren't playing I don't have enough to say.

Vikings start on the 15th

1st down Peterson swamped in the backfield.
2nd and 10 Favre throws a rainbow bomb to the sideline. almost intercepted, but the defender landed out of bounds.
3rd down Favre threw a short pass incomplete to the ground. The Saints are giving more pressure.

Punt and Bush dances and jukes for no return yardage.

First down little screen for 3 yards.
Second down 8 to go little pass to Bush, no yards after reception open field tackle.
Third down and about 7 another completion too short. 4th and 6
Vikings start on the 31 yd line

First down Nice run by Peterson
Second down Favre pulled down by the shirt big loss sack. Busted screen?
Third and lots (13) longish over the middle pass missed the receiver who stopped running(?)

Back to Breeze and the Boyz.
First down Bush taken down in the open field.
Second down Breeze threw a great bomb to the sideline incomplete and out of bounds
Third down and 9 incomplete pass near the ground! Three and out!
Punt. fair catch at the 26 flags, offsetting penalties but they mean redo the kick.
Redo fair catch on the 23. Holding (on a fair catch?) Back to the 13.

First down weak Peterson rush for 3
End of quarter

Blogging the Brett Bush Bowl 2nd Quarter

2010-09-09T18:16:00.000-07:00

Will the Vikings offense wake up?
Will Favre and Childress start sassing each other?

Stay tuned.

Saints punt fair catch at the 11yd line

First down another run up the middle and nowhere.
Second down Peterson runs 10 yds for a first down
First and 10 Peterson again. about 7 yds. No fumble so far.
Second down Peterson middle again still 2 yds to go.
Third and about 2 swing pass to the end first down. Finally a Favre pass.
First down hand off to another back big nothing.
Second down short pass for nuttin, absolutely nuttin
Third and 12, it is Favre danger zone. Weak short pass, but
face mask on offense and defense, offsetting penalties, WTF?
Third and 11 Farve goes long, an ugly looking pass but it worked for 15 yds.
First down Peterson gets 9 yds up the middle.
Second and about 2 yds Peterson plows through
First down time for a surprise pass? Peterson again for a fighting 9 yds.
Where is the air force?
Second and 1 quick almost no huddle saints caught asleep first down.
First down Young (other back gets nuttin. the offensive line didn't hold. Hit in the backfield.
Second down penalty right away, running play to nowhere. offensive shift, loss of down.
Third and 9 Time to pass another Saints time out.
Big down shotgun incomplete 12 yd pass. The coverage was all over the receiver.
Longwell FG 42 yds. 7 - 3 Saints not much time left in the half.

Kickoff returned to the 30 yd line. Not Bush, the other guy.
Al Michaels can't get over the flood disaster in the Superdome.

First down completed pass taken back for holding. Only one rush so far for Saints.
First and 20 short pass up the middle
Second and 14 incomplete vikings Had the TE covered, fro once.
Third and 14 time for the Viking D to do something already.
False start third and 19 Breeze rushed and offensive holding. Breeze almost threw into an interception.
Punt time. from the 10 Vikings muffed but recovered at the 18.

First down Vikings Favre made a noce quicl 11 yd short pass.
First down run up the guts for 1 yd Peterson
Second and 9 Farve throws a dumbass pass in the grasp of a defender Interception.
Somwe things never change.

First down for the Saints on the Vikings 30. Nothing run.
Why is there a 2 minute warning for the first half? Makes no sense.
The Saints can't get anything. Receivers whinging for an interference call.
Fg attempt from 46 yds, wide by a mile. The Vikings dodged a Brett Favre give away.

Time for Favre hurry up action from the 36 YD line. Short pass over the middle for 6 yds.
Second down still short of the first and need to burn a time out.
Third down end around just makes it and out of bounds.
First down shotgun long pass up the middle time out 33 yd gain ball on the 20
First down Favre laces on into the end zone. Everything has turned around for now. about 30 seconds left. Point after blocked. maybe of they had a catapult. . . 9 to 7

No commercial break with 30 seconds left in the half.

Kickoff return to the 25 ho hum.
1st down quick short pass to the sideline.
2nd down short pass nowhere near the sideline.
End of the half.

I'm working on some music, so no comments om the half time show.

Blogging the Brett Bush Bowl 1st Quarter

2010-09-09T17:33:00.000-07:00

5:25 PDT I turned on the TV. It looks like a Superbowl halftime show. WTF? Another old fart sell-out singing flat. Dave Matthews this time. These guys always sing way flat, why don't the crews tune the guitars flatter. Geezopete, Now it's "Burning Down The House", but without the funk rhythm. This adds to the otherwise unending embarrassment of being an old fart.

They're running the blurb for the Saints. The National Anthem singer is also about a 1/2 step flat form her string accompaniment. It must be the PA system.

Bush isn't doing the Heisman pose, Guess he was too busy to check the blog today. The singer hit the ending pitch.

Andrea Cramer, the sideline announcer has the worst teeth I have ever seen. Doesn't NBC have dental insurance.

Boring kickoff and return , but always good to see Ryan Longwell, the best name for a kicker ever.

First play, 30 yd pass over the middle. Vikings had their lunch money stolen!
Second play 11 yard pass.
Bush was manhandled by coverage. Finally an incomplete pass.
bush made it up with an 8 yd rush.
TD long completion and face mask penalty against the viqueens. Beaten like a drum so far.
Would somebody find a corner back for the viqueens?

I think they should replace the extra point kick with something more exciting. Maybe something involving catapults.

Brettqueens starting on the 20.
First down. Peterson rushes for about 2 yds.
Second down Peterson gets it within a couple of yards of the 1st dwn.
Third down Peterson is absolutely STUFFED in the middle.
When will they let Favre3 pass? Will he yell at the coach again?

Punt. Bush calls fair catch. Saints will start on near the 30 yd line.

First down, failed screen pass. Nice to see a pass that doesn't blow the queens away.
Second down busted play, short pass for little yardage.
Third down Breeze overthrew by a mile. The end beat the coverage by a mile.
Punt. Vikes start near the thirty. Maybe Childress will let Favre throw the ball this time. Let's see if he remembers to throw to a guy in the same colored jersey.

First down nice short up the middle pass for about 8 yds. Classic Favre.
Second down big nothing.
Third down hand off op the middle. The offensive line failed, but Petersen muscled the yard to the first down.

First down Favre overthrows, looks like the receiver got mauled.
Second down Peterson around the end, flag, holding takes back a 17 yd run.
Second down 20 pass completed another penalty, offensive pass interference.
Vikings net offensive gain must benear zero right now.
Second down 30 to g0 inside handoff Petersen gtts 15 yds. SO WHAT?
Third and 15 short pass not enough, short by about 2 yds.
Punt Vikes down it inside the 5. Heisman boy let it bounce by. Bad choice, Bush seems to have made a lot of bad choices, I guess.
I haven't seen any interesting commercials yet. Except now I know I'm a wuss because I don't drive a Dodge Truck.

1st down Bush receives on the 3, goes nowhere.
2nd down muffed hike in the end zone! Breeze picks up the ball and completes a great pass!
First down Penalty before the snap. Motion on Breeze
First down pass to the 50 incomplete, almost a fumble. Perfect pass, but receiver got whipsawed. Ouch.
Time out Saints. (I'm getting good rabbit ear reception today)
Second and 15 short pass to Bush and a great yds after reception. Bush really showed his stuff.
First down quick short pass. Drew looks more like Brett than Brett.
Second and 3, another quick short pass.
Third bootleg fake and short pass.

Finally, a sack!
3rd and 10 short pass to Bush, not enough.

The Vikings are getting killed by the Saints. Like Medieval history in reverse!

Happy New Year!

2010-09-09T15:36:00.000-07:00

The title says it all.

I made sure to stop by Naroe's Bakery for their unbelievable challah. It tastes as good as it looks. The store is run by two blond Russian sisters who always remember to speak English to me.

For a less traditional New Years Observance, Please accept this New Years wish:

All this and Brett Favre. Who'd have guessed?

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Brett Favre Reggie Bush League Bowl Blog Alert 5:30 PDT Tonight

2010-09-09T12:34:00.000-07:00

In a continuing Hangininsac tradition, I'm planning to blog live during another overhyped Brett Favre nationally televised game.

I will re-post at least once each quarter,until I get bored. Last year's post produced an all-time high daily readership which I won't share because it's embarassing. Last years post was more passionate than insightful, since the packers were playing the Vikings. However last year's Brett Bowl was before the Brett versus Coach Childress soap opera had flowered. Also before Bretts embarassing season killing performance in the NFC Championship game. The baggage is half the fun.

Speaking of baggage:

Reggie Bush- I challenge you to stand midfield and hold the Heisman Trophy pose. I mean the pose the metal guy is doing, not the pose of the grinning peabrain holding the trophy. I double dog dare you. C'mon just run out to midfield and strike the pose during the Star Spangled banner. I know you want to do it.

Oh yeah, you might want to check out your Official Heisman Trophy Winner Page before the Heisman Trust's webmaster remembers to take it down.

That's my story for now, hear the rest later.

Tomales Point, A Real Hot Tamale

2010-09-07T12:49:00.000-07:00

Fortunately, our Labor Day hike to Tomales Point was only a mildly warm tamale.

Tomales point juts out the north end of Point Reyes National Seashore.

View Larger Map

You can manipulate this map to see the entire hike, which goes from where the road ends at an old complex of ranch buildings to the tip of the point. Sometimes I love the modern world. You can zoom in and out to see the terrain. For the geologically motivated, Tomales Point is where the San Andreas Fault leaves the continent.

We wanted to take a longish hike with lots of ups and downs before we hit the Sierras again. We took this hike several years ago in the spring. I recommend this hike for spring and not fall, since most of the walk is surrounded by gigantic wild lupine bushes. Yes, I remember the critical role of lupines in British literature.

Vegetation was brown for the most part. We saw a few cool looking plants. I don't know how these flowers find water when the neighboring plants go brown (in California,we call that Golden).

These beautiful Lilies were standing alone in a field of brown.

This weird and several similar plant were scattered around the area.

What's a hike in California with out a poppy or two?

Tomales Point is home top a large herd of Elks, which is as well as herd of large Elks. One of the stage was kind enough to give us his million-dollar pose. Something about this Elk reminded me of Barbie's Ken.

The last two miles before the point were pretty difficult. The slopes were not as steep as the first half of the trail, but everything was overgrown with lupine bushes. The entire peninsula was full of Elk trails. Most of the last two miles was a bushwhack.

When you see something like this,which way do you go? A note to hikers - try to follow the ridge. When in doubt, veer East.

We stopped for lunch at the point. We could see lots of fishing boats on both sides of the point. The waters around Tomales Point are renowned for Great White Sharks. Good fishing, bad swimming. We were always hundreds of feet above the water. i opccasional scanned the western horizon, since this has been a great year for blue whale sightings. I guess the whales have been hanging around Monterey Bay to the south.

On both our visits, we were able to find a private perch to enjoy lunch and the view. I think the overgrown trail and the length of the walk prevents the point from getting crowded. This is a typical lunchtime view.

The hike back seemed a little bit like a chore. It was a warmish afternoon, with no clouds, no real fog and temperatures near eighty degrees. I got sunburned. K took this picture in front of very cool windswept trees. The trees are about one-half mile behind me. We had to go up and across the hill behind the trees to finish the walk.

We stopped at Marin French Cheese Company on the way home. They have a picnic area surrounding a pond and great cheese shop by their factory near Point Reyes. My favorite product is Schloss, a cheese I can only describe as a more pungent and smoother Limburger cheese. I had a sample of Schloss, but we bought lots of brie and Camembert. They offered 10 half-pound rounds for $20. Now we need to figure out how to dispose of all that mild, creamy cheese.

We took a different route home, since Rt 37 was a disaster (long causeway and traffic not moving). We drove through Napa and Sonoma Counties. It was pretty pleasant. We got home feeling pretty tired, so we had bread and cheese for dinner.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Damning With Faint Praise

2010-09-03T11:09:00.000-07:00

This Morning's Sacramento Bee included the best example of damning with faint praise I've seen in ages.

To briefly fill in the situation, Michael Lyon, the boss of a major local residential real estate brokerage called" Lyon" got more or less caught using hidden cameras to make "secret video recordings of house guests and others in bedrooms and bathrooms through cameras concealed in clock radios and behind vents". Although the Statute of Limitations ran out before the FBI completed its investigation, there is much evidence supporting the conclusion that Michael is a very naughty boy. The local DA is investigating.

With his dirty laundry being blown all over town, Michael the Lascivious Lyon promptly resigned from the family business.

Jean Li, now the interim CEO and long time brains behind the organization (at least that's what she says) immediately added her two cents with an interview/article in the Sacramento Bee. Methinks she "come(s) to bury Caesar, not to praise him."

She begins by claiming Lyon is "resilient and intends to clear his name". She carefully avoids vouching for the dead man in any way. When answering questions about the charges and Lyon's character, she carefully quotes someone else's statements.

She goes on to boast that "she was responsible for diversifying the firm – the region's largest – by establishing a Lyon mortgage division and creating a partnership with an insurance company. She said she often joked with Lyon that "I'm the brains (of the company). You're the face."

I'm just glad the guy lives in Roseville, so if and probably when his name gets added to Megan's List it won't ding my property value, what little is left these days.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Next year's NaNoWriMo

2010-09-02T15:25:00.000-07:00

I've been already thinking about NaNoWriMo for this November. NaNoWriMo is November Novel Writers Month. I stumbled across this last year about a week before the beginning of November. This year I am planning better.

This is the year of Steampunk. I plan to do steampunk one better. I don't feel the need to create some fantastical and marvelous but misunderstood contraption of iron and steam, because Isambard Kingdom Brunel, the world's greatest engineer and second greatest British person ever created the perfect steampunk prop in the Great Eastern. Further, it turns out the Wife's Great Great (Actually I can't remember how many Greats) Grandfather served as Seventh Mate aboard the Steel Leviathan on its maiden voyage in 1861. Brunel was unbelievable. I'd like to see any contemporary hipster steampunk stand up to this image:

I am thinking of a collection of four stories. The first will follow the building and launch of a ship about twice as big as any other ship afloat. Second the maiden voyage which was a disaster and a half,although the ship,as a machine,performed pretty well (with the exception of a funnel explosion on the maiden voyage). Third will involve the laying of the First TransAtlantic telegraph cable (I'm telling you, this ship was in the middle of a lot of cool stuff). The last story involves Jules Verne's trip to new York on the Great Eastern, where he wrote an absolutely terrible novel. But maybe he was really thinking through 20,000 Leagues?

In the tradition of great novelists through history, I decided to make a title banner ahead of time. The background is from Brunel's description of the ship's plans to the original investors, who lost their shirts.

Last year's 50,000 word novel was a bit of a mess. I haven't shown it to anyone except the Wife. Her only comment was that it wasn't incoherent. I think that was a surprise.

There were some good things that came out, including a story of Buddhist monks in Tibet whose meditative powers had been secretly collected by Chinese hegemonic militarists. The goal of the Chinese was to colonize the Noosphere with WalMart outlets (of course, what else?). Meditative energy goes a long way in the noosphere. BecauseI said so. I had started with a story of old Jewish guys (after my very own gramps and some of his senior delinquent friends he fell in with after moving to L A) fighting the Chinese Zombie hordes in a golf course of the Noosphere with pie-filled golf balls. About half way through telling that story I realized that writing about whacky guys called Moe and Curly is a bad idea, since whoever thinks he owns the “Three Stooges” trademark is very litigious. Even though there is more than a sliver of truth in the connection.

There may be some short story potential here, but the novel showed some real problems when November ended and I had time to read what I had written. I had created major Mary Sue issues. It had gotten so out of control that the semi-autobiographical main Character and owner of the narrative voice actually didn't even need to be in the novel at all. Believe me, that's a mistake I'll only make once.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

GodzillaPERS Attacks Sacramento

2010-08-30T10:22:00.000-07:00

I thought this was pretty clever.

Although this may be the work of a bunch of idiots with the suckiest website I've seen in years, it provides the best short explanation of one major element of California's fiscal disaster. They failed to mention that 25 years of cutting taxes to corporations and rich individuals while increasing subsidies to the rich and corporations and almost everyone else might have something to do with going broke.

We could recruit Gamron, Mothra and the gang to play the Welfare Monster, the MediCal Monster , the Corporate Subsidy Monster, etc. the list just goes on and on.

As long as State and local Government operates on what I call "Sacramento Compromise" paradigm, these problems will not go away.

The Sacramento Compromise defined:

You want to cut taxes for your priveleged supporters.

I want to provide generous financial subsidies to my constituencies.

Let's do both and let a lobbyist buy us drinks!

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Frozen Yogurt Is Bad For You

2010-08-27T15:39:00.000-07:00

Frozen yogurt joints are popping up all over my part of Sacramento like pimples on Prom night.

I don't like frozen yogurt because it tastes like something fake that died and was buried in a mountain of corn syrup.

Well, it turns out frozen yogurt is dangerous. It can cause broken bones. I alwys knew this stuff is evil.Now we have proof.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

My Lunch - Sometimes Precious Just Happens

2010-08-26T12:10:00.000-07:00

I threw some of this week's refrigerator bean salad on some fresh tomato and cucumber wedges. I sprinkled a salt and herb mixture and drizzled a little wine vinegar on top. This took about a minute to put together.

Who knew it would look so precious?

Also made a sandwich from leftover grilled sirloin with a little feta cheese a some salad greens. It was good but it wasn't pretty like the salad. Actually, since I used the end of a baguette, it looked quite manly in a grinder kind of way.

Yesterday I tried a steak, tomato, cucumber and salad green sandwich. That was way too much slippery stuff in one sandwich. Hence, the salad today.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Laughter is Power

2010-08-23T14:58:00.000-07:00

If I can't laugh in your revolution, leave me out of it.

A friend sent me this video from prostests realted to California's Proposition 8. This is funny in a sweet way and a well-wasted 3 1/3 minutes that you'll never be able to get back.

I like this and it encourages me.

Picket sign hacking. I love the way these folks use use signs to make the opposing picketers look like even bigger morons than they look like without help. I see that and wonder I think, "Obvious, Brilliant, why didn't I think of that?".

The supporters of proposition 8 (meaning those miserable marital scrooges who say "bah humbug" to toher people getting married) have no sense of humor, and at least those willing to hold signs in support of proposition 8 apparently have no sense. What kind of knob just stands there when his protest becomes what is obviously (that is obvious to anyone except the completely humor impaired) the host upon which a powerful viral campaignis feeding.

In order to comply with Hangininsac's fairness doctrine (stated thusly; The Fair ain't always fair) I present evidence that some protesters opposed to Proposition 8 (in support of universal marriage rights) are pretty dopy.

My favorite was the couple with the matching signs; His/Her snoring is the only threat to our marriage. Ain't that the truth.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Sunday Night Football . . . or Shakespeare . . . or Sermon

2010-08-23T10:13:00.000-07:00

Last night I gave into temptation. Against my better Judgment watched an NFL Exhibition Game . I couldn't resist watching the Vikings at San Francisco. We watched the first half of the game while we prepared dinner (I BBQed and DW and DMIL boiled some corn I picked up at the farmers market and husked Saturday.

Both DMIL and I wanted to see what the Forty Niners had to show and what's up with Favre.

First the Forty Niners:

Alex Smith looked pretty good in the passing – dominated opening drive that resulted in a TD. Lots of nice short yardage completion. This is encouraging.

After the first drive, the Niners offense spent the evening trying to establish a running game that just wasn't there. I wasn't really surprised, since Gore and Westbrook were both absent, and the backfield was filled with no-names. What was a bit alarming was the San Francisco's offensive line's complete inability to open anything even resembling a hole. SF's tackling was terrible. If Vince Lombardi's mantra that “football is a game of fundamentals, blocking and tackling” still means anything in the NFL, the Niners are in trouble. Again.

This leads in to The Sermon. Reverend Goo Goo Googly Eyes (aka Coach Mike Singletary) was miked during the game so we could hear his little motivational sermons. Google Eye Mike apparently prowls the sideline looking for the players that messed up the last play so he can tell them to try harder next time or go home.

Wow, Singletary is a Football Genius. Tell the players to try harder. What insight! What creativity! Why hasn't anyone thought about that before? Man, this is great. Once the players actually try, we're assured a Super Bowl Victory.

Sarcasm aside, I think a professional sports team needs more than a booster. Especially in the Head Coach position. The players are directly supervised by position coaches who report to the Offensive or Defensive Coordinator who in turn report the the Head Coach. Seriously, I don't think the Head Coach needs to make motivational speeches. The Head Coach needs to figure out how to get the numbers in the W column.

Yeah, yeah, I know, Lombardi used that work ethic thing and he was great. But, let's get real. If Lombardi had produced nothing better than the 8 wins Singletary chalked up last year, he'd be long forgotten.

My message to Mike Singletary

Do whatever it takes to get the numbers in the W column. Spare us the motivational sermons until you prove yourself by delivering the Ws. Do what you tell your players – shut up, get to work, and deliver. Everyone will line up to hear your Protestant Work Ethic sermons the two weeks before you lead your team to the super bowl. You know that because you've been there before. Until that joyous January, please spare us.

The Vikings

Like almost everyone else who doesn't make herculean efforts to tune out the NFL, I was there for the next act in the ongoing NFL Players production of “To Favre or not to Favre”. I like a drama queen in shoulder pads as much as the next guy.

We didn't really see much on the field, where Favre took to the sidelines after three unsuccessful downs ending with a body-slamming sack. The Vikings offensive line showed almost no protection at all. I wish Favre all the luck in the world. With a line like that, he'll need it.

Three downs and out wasn't all we got to see of Favre (as if). Halftime treated us to an absolutely nauseating toady inter view of Hamlet-in-a-Helmet. How many times can you hear Al Michaels akd Farve “How it feels to be such a great guy that you came out of retirements for you teammates who love you so much they can't live without you?” No wonder why Favre needs Prilosec. Who wouldn't after listening to so much reflux-inducing crap.

On the lighter side, Redskin Nation is whining that Favre's deigning to grant a halftime interview saved us from Mike Shanahan. A silver lining, at last.

Since I've taken to foisting Happy Tails cats on people every Sunday morning, I'll miss most of this season's football. I'm not very concerned.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Fish Stories, Weirs and Ladders

2010-08-20T14:44:00.000-07:00

I had a great fish encounter today. I took an 18 mile bike ride from my place to Jim's Bridge. I am trying to start from home instead of driving the two miles to the nearest trail access. That adds a little more than 4 miles and about 20 or 30 minutes to the ride. When I rack up the bike on the car and drive, it probably takes just 5 or 10 minutes less than riding from home. As long as I can avoid streets with serious bike-crushing traffic, I guess that's OK.

I talked to a guy who was standing astride his bike watching the river flowing under the bridge, I could see a narrow stream of unusually dark and murky water flowing from the upright just under the water-gazer.

I asked him what he was looking at. He pointed out a lot of big chunks of algae,sticks and other river junk floating on the dark stream. He said he thought they must have just cleaned the fish ladder at the Nimbus dam upriver from us. He probably really meant the weir, but that's not a big deal.

He said, “The fish will come soon.” He was absolutely right. I saw several fish swim under the bridge, a few feet below the surface. These were giant fish. They looked like sturgeon to me. Big and ugly. I expect all really big fish to be sturgeon, since the American River Salmon have almost disappeared over the last 10 years. I remember hiking by the river in late spring of 2003 and seeing at least two or three dead spawned salmon every mile. I don't miss that,but their absence seems unnatural.

My erstwhile buddy claimed they were giant bass. He called them “Stry-ped bass” in his unusual Southeast accent. In any event,these fish were huge and looked pretty ugly to me. It was cool watching the fish swim by. They were as big as these monsters. They really were.

Anyway, it was another perfect morning by the American River.

That's my story or I'm sticking to it.

Who Knew Chinese Army So Awesome Cool?

2010-08-16T20:49:00.000-07:00

Omnipotent Chinese Army Orchestra and Choir play Michael Jackson Tribute soon most dominant Internet meme from most awesome nation's army.

You hear it here first, hokay? I'm not making original posts these days,so this what you get now.

That my story I stick to it.

Enough Eat Pray Love Already

2010-08-12T18:10:00.000-07:00

Now, here's a movie I'd pay to see:

Thanks to MeritBadger

Looking in an Honest Mirror

2010-08-11T13:48:00.000-07:00

Maxine Frost provided this illustration that, IMHO showcases the evolution (or de-evolution?) of Grey America better than about anything I've seen lately.

You can see more of Maxine's illustrations on her Crazy for the Composers blog . If you are nice to her, you might someday see your requested composer drawn with insight and a very large head.

You can listen To Maxine's radio show by selecting King FM's "98.1..." Channel from 10:00 AM to 4:00 PM Pacific Time weekdays (DANGER, WILL ROBINSON, only do this if you think your computer is running well these days). Evergreen seriously uses the "More Tunes Less Talk" approach to radio. The music is pretty varied, so you're likely to hear something you've never heard before.

In addition to hearing some nice music, the King FM Player will test your computer for system stability. I ma not passing this test very well. You've been warned. The player has been making my computer crash today. Time to restart and see what happens.

I first "met" Maxine through the Simple Living Network, when we exchanged a couple of postings or something like that, a little more than a year ago. Our blogs appear to be linked by some dadburned confounded interweb contraption that I don't understand.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Addendum- after restarting (remember when we called that rebooting?) everything is fine. I think it was my MacAfee firewall that was giving my computer fist. Once again, I shake my fist at these dadburned confounded newfangled interweb contraptions. Back in my day. . .

American River Bike Ride on a Perfect Day

2010-08-10T15:24:00.000-07:00

Today was a perfect morning for a bike ride. When I started out at about 9:30 AM, the sky was clear, humidity was low, and the temperature was about 60 degrees with a very light breeze. It was a perfect morning.

I rode on the Jedediah Smith Trail by the American River for what was about a 13.5mile round trip. I drove to a trail head today, I just didn't feel like putting the extra three miles on streets it takes to get me to the trail without fighting speeding, coffee drinking, texting dimensional transmogrifiers (oops,I meant drivers).On a bike they are dimensional transmogrifiers when they convert a three dimensional cyclist into a tow dimensional cyclist. BTW, I picked up that term from Fat Freddy's Cat in a comic book in the late 1970s.

I took a few snaps of the ride.

This first shot is a typical scene of what you see directly in front of you as you ride on the trail. This landscape is generically known as a riparian forest, because it is a forest along the banks of a river (so, mister smarty pants wikipedia contributor, why not river-ian forest?) Lots of strange oak trees and browned out grass. This would not be a good place to toss out butts.

After a short distance, the trail veers a way form the river into some empty prairie. The land was never built on because it is very prone to flooding. Too bad that reasoning was not enough to stop building in the North Natomas area of Sacramento. Anyway this little bridge is cute.

The next sight is Soil Born Farms, a small organic farm run by hippie gardeners who are slowly figuring out farming. I visited them last Sunday with a group of bicyclists including some bicycle advocates and a local chef. We had a tour. I was really most impressed with two things. First, they use their fallow fields for grazing sheep. I haven't walked among grazing sheep for many years. The sound they make grinding up the grass is unbelievable. The second amazing discovery was in their shop.The sold bacon scones form a local bakery. That's right, I said bacon scones! I had one and it was good. The organic vegetables they had were less impressive,but the potatoes looked excellent and I could see what looks like a great crop of winter squash starting in the field. This could be the place for the Great Pumpkin's Second Coming.

The trail veered closer to the river for a short time. This is a sometimes popular swimming spot at a bend in the river. Unfortunately,it has also proven to be an occasional drowning spot. The American river flows to us from mountains about two miles high and has all sorts of strange little currents. This is not a swimming hole for people who can "almost swim".

The next sight is Rancho Cordova's Hagan Park. This is an ordinary large city park (ball fields, duck pond,etc.) except it has the biggest model railroad I've ever seen. They give free rides to kids on the weekends.

The trail climbs up a placer. Early gold miners formed placers when they re-routed the river and dug all the boulders off the riverbed. The placers still stand when they dumped the rocks that they hoped were sitting on top of all that gold. Most went back home broke.

The trail provides plenty of overlooks of the river. This view is probably similar to what early wagon train folks saw during a lot of their journeys.

This short shaded stretch is one of may favorite parts of this ride.

I use the area around Jim's Bridge as a turning point. It's a nice place to stop for a drink of water. The bridge was built as part of mining operation long ago. This bridge appears to be invisible on the interwebs, so you'll just have to take my word.

I can stop and have a drink of water here, the view to the west is beautiful.

Looking east reminds me why I escape to the bike trail in the first place. The wide and but-ugly suburban Sunrise Boulevard. Sunrise Blvd Connects two of the less attractive Sacramento suburbs, Rancho Cordova (aka Repo Forclosure) and Citrus Heights (aka Syphilis Blights). There is some hope looking east form Jim's Bridge. You can see a great pedestrian bridge about one half mile up the river, in the more fashionable (at least in their own eyes) feral chicken-filled suburb of Fair Oaks.

Since I was making great time, I stopped to enjoy some wild blackberries.I call them The Sacramento Treat. They are way better than Rice-A-Roni. Take that, all you San Francisco snobs out there!

You might notice a blurry light brown object in the background of this picture. Turns out that or something near it was the rear end of a rattlesnake. I didn't notice it until it sounded off while my hand was reaching in for the ripe black berries under the red ones. I decided to leave that bush alone for a while.

Near the end of the return trip, I stopped to enjoy this scene, straight out of a Western Romance.

This was an hour and a half well spent.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

The Margaret Mead of Flight Delays

2010-08-04T13:35:00.000-07:00

This great article in Slate gives an anthropologist's view of what you can see anywhere there's a flight delay. This would even be funnier if it wasn't true.

A short excerpt,describing a couple of the tribal functions you might encounter:

"Prosecutorial Flight Ninja

Knows more than the gate agents. Berates them because they've been lying for hours about how long the flight will be delayed. He holds up an iPhone with notification from the Web site that the flight has already been canceled.

See Here Now! Man
A cousin of the fellow in the introduction of this story. He believes that the mechanical problem, personnel issue, or weather will be improved if he loudly proclaims his place in the universe."

This is a great read, and it would even be funnier if it wasn't true.

The Airline Boogie

2010-08-03T16:15:00.000-07:00

I am working out a trip to Wisconsin for October. I can't quite settle on choosing a flight, since the all the flights are inconvenient. It's impossible to get from here to there without either dealing with a a 6:45 AM departure time in Sacramento or an arrival after 11:00 PM on one end or the other. I'll figure out something. Later. I'll just whinge for a while in the meantime. That tactic may pay off, it looks like fares dropped about $40 since yesterday.

All this talk about the joys of flying in what passes for our Modern Country made me think of Prague's Franz Kafka Airport. One of the best Onion News Network features ever. This is exactly what air travel feels like to me.

Prague's Franz Kafka International Named World's Most Alienating Airport

While we're on the subject, Mexicana Airlines just announced immediate suspension of its 11 Weekly Flights to Sacramento International Airport. That means there are now no international flights. Although these flights have been going to Mexico for only eight years, the local authorities have always called this airport "Sacramento International Airport". In the days before these once-in-a-while commuter jet flights to Mexico, the airport was known to local as "Sacramento Intergalactic Airport". Now, once again, we can use that awesome name with pride.

While we're on the subject of flight, we went to the Star Trek Exhibition at the McClellan (ex-air base) air and Space Museum. The exhibition was pretty fun, but no pictures were allowed.

The rest of the museum was the typical airbase museum, with a big lot full of old airplanes and bomb casings.

I posed for some people doing best Major Kong Pose I could.It probably looked something like this.

They didn't have any big nuke bomb casings, The nastiest most explodingest thing I found to ride was what looked like a two or three ton napalm bomb casing.

That was a disappointment, since according to the EPA, cleanup work in 2000 unearthed "one (1) 20-gallon drum, excavation of 480 cubic yards of soil, and laboratory wastes. Contents of one drum were labeled as containing plutonium."
Man, I wish I could have had my picture taken next to that.

Anyway, I will try to follow up and get the bomb picture.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

I Am More powerful Than Clowns and Old Men

2010-08-02T17:19:00.000-07:00

I am glad to report that I have finally succeeded in taking down both Col Sanders and Ronald McDonald. Sanders was much harder to kill. I also saved Pamela Anderson from her almost certain fate of becoming "part of an unhappy meal" .

I am talking about two insanely retro Mario Brothers- style games offered by PETA, McCruelty and Kentucky Fried Cruelty. I just get a kick out of these, the way they combine sick humor and earnestness. A few segments of the game poke fun at the Mario Brothers as well as some of PETA's stranger animal issues. These games haven't caused me to turn away from meat.

I added banners for the games at the bottom of the blog. Enjoy

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Be Scared, Be Very Scared

2010-07-29T16:35:00.000-07:00

I sent a friend directions to our place on Google Maps . I got a quick response of "what's all this about klowns in your neighborhood?" I took a closer look at Google maps for my neighborhood to find that, yes,Virginia, Google (the source of all knowledge and all that is good in this world) reports klowns in the neighborhood. Let's just prey to God they ain't from outer space and they ain't killer klowns.

View Larger Map

Move your cursor across the image to get a chill.

Well at least Megan's Law doesn't show any offenders too close to here.

You may be asking, so what's the big deal about klowns. Maybe you're thinking I'm an irrational fearful klown hater. Having grown up in Chicago in the 1960s and 70s, I know what evil lurks in the sick twisted brain behind all that greasepaint. Three words, dammit just three words; John Wayne Gacy. Who says klowns ain't scary?

Pogo John, the burger flippin' klown says so,that's who!

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Sacramento and The Talk of the Town

2010-07-29T07:51:00.001-07:00

Well, it looks like "dead-cow-gate" is still the top story here in Sacramento, Perhaps the region has found a new mascot. What better symbol could represent a region with over 14% unemployment,
tens of thousands of foreclosed houses, and a nearly bankrupt largest employer.

Sacramento Bee cartoonist Rex Babin summed it up pretty well.

In addition to pens drawing, lips are flapping. Perhaps the lizardlature will pipe in next week when they get back to town. People are pointing fingers at the security people who shot the cow. This makes no sense to me, since if the veterinarians could have done their job properly, security wouldn't have had to leave their donuts.

I still don't understand why this is a big deal. If the calf wasn't born at the fair, it would be somewhere like this.

And later it would look like this.

mmmmmmm, scallopini, aaaggghhhhhhhh.

I guess my point is, no matter what happens, a cow and calf aren't looking at a bright future. I say get over it.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

When Goals Meet Non-Goal

2010-07-28T19:23:00.000-07:00

I just read an interesting article in zenhabits.net. Zen Habits is one of the more popular blogs on the interwebs, In fact, the dead tree media even claims this is a “blog you should know”. Naturally, I had never heard of it until a couple of weeks ago.

The blogs author, Leo Babauta, is a guy from Guam who's spent a lot of his life on the west coast, and has recently moved to San Francisco. His writing style is out of this world. If E B White was alive today, he would approve. Actually, if E B White was alive and read much of my blog today, he'd probably be dead by tomorrow. Who has time for dead white men these days?

Up until his most recent post, Babauta has written books and blog entries instructing people how to establish nested goals (i. e., short term goals supporting mid term goals supporting long term goals) all in a Protestant Work Ethic inspired effort to help everyone improve themselves by focusing on the Important Things in Life.

Given that background, I was surprised and pleased as punch to see his most recent blog post. He has put forth a change in approach, now saying that “the best goal is no goal”.He looks at the limitations we might impose on our lives by allowing lives to be subservient to our self-imposed goals.

I can only hope that this many younger folks in America are able to come to a similar realization. I find it discouraging that some research has shown that “getting rich” is the predominant goal of most younger Americans.

I am not trying to moralize about this. My most pressing concern is that if “getting rich” is the goal, it's a sure thing that most will fail. This is simply because “getting rich”means having more than the vast majority of the people around you. In a roomful of highly paid executives, the person with the smallest private jet will be poor in his own eyes, at least until he leaves the room. Therefore, only a small minority can “be rich”at any time. Since outside of lake Wobegon, all the children can't be above average, most of us can't be “rich”.

Now the hippie type slacker who defines “being rich” by having a loving family surrounded by good friends has a pretty good chance of making it.

In soundbites, the lesson is;

If you want a good life, quit being a human becoming and start living as a human being.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

For This? For This, I Left Wisconsin For Sacramento?

2010-07-27T17:09:00.000-07:00

Today's big news in Sacramento:

Rampaging, Pregnant Cow Shot To Death At State Fair

Calf Didn't Survive, Fair's General Manager Says

Read all about it in the Local Sacramento News.

This is so wrong (or right, I'm not sure) in so many ways that I find myself dizzily trying to control my shpilkes that gets a hold of me at times like these. I'll probably miss something wrong with this, but here goes.

Wrong Thing Number 1:

In the words of Frank Zappa, “this doesn't happen here,things like this don't happen here,who could imagine it could happen somewhere like. . .”

This should happen in Wisconsin. This should not happen here.

This should happen in Wisconsin, where I remember weird stuff involving rampaging cows coming up in the nightly news right after the film from a barn fire. I think the most common phrase on the ten o'clock news was “No livestock was damaged.” Here in Sacramento, we're supposed to be about corrupt politicians and bankrupted treasuries. I always thought Wisconsin was the place where the cows run wild. Maybe all those commercials are true. maybe California really is the America's Dairy Land. Please, somebody, tell me it ain't so. I remember, almost twenty years ago, quietly walking across an English cattle pasture,and minding my own business. I felt inexplicably uncomfortable. After checking my shoes for abnormal prairie muffin crumbs, I looked over my shoulder to see a tightly packed crowd of about forty cattle following about ten feet behind, staring at me with their big stupid brown eyes. This gives me that same feeling. The insane cows are following me again.

Wrong Thing Number 2:

I was at the fair on Sunday. Despite the big cash box heist the week before, everything seemed on the up-and-up.

The high point for us was a llama that sweetly nuzzled our faces with a dry nose and surprisingly pleasant breath. Pretty good for a species that usually spits its cud at people.

We went to the birthing area, since no one can resist the lure of newborn piglets and calves. Hatchling chicks aren't bad either. We saw a pregnant cow who was reportedly about two days late as of Sunday. I fear it was she who rampaged this morning.

Rampaging cows and stalked by a field force of Fearless Fosdicks following rifle-jamming veterinarians sounds a lot more entertaining than teenage art contest winners and fried Twinkies(tm) on the midway. Given the proven abilities of Cal Exp Security, I am pleasently surprized a veterinarian or two didn't get shot along with the the cow.

We definitely went to the fair on the wrong day.

Wrong Thing Number 3:

We are supposed to be sad about this tragedy. A cow and a calf had to be killed. Don't mention that if they had performed successfully, playing the role of carnival freaks for the next week or so, with in a month or two their names probably would have been changed to Sir Loin and Scallopini. Don't mention State Fair's famous barbequed tri tip (that's a popular local beef roast for you mid westerners) sandwiches for sale just outside the birthing area. Seriously, these animals are bread and kept a live for our eating pleasure.

(Note to readers – they may have been dairy cows, but it's just more entertaining if they're bread for meat, and not really that much difference.)

Although I spent a few years being a vegetarian, I am not a PETA advocate. I do not think eating meat is an abomination. I view meat as food. I believe that morally enjoying meat requires us to accept that you kill animals to get the stuff. It makes me cringe when I hear parent tell their kids crap like, “pigs give us bacon”. They don't give us jack. We pull the delicious stuff off their dead bones.

I find it to be seriously disorienting to see people who eat meet crying about “how terrible this is”. I imagine having a rampage and getting fatally shot is a better way to go than the slaughterhouse routine. Perhaps I am projecting my feelings on the cows. Let me be more clear...I would rather be shot on a rampage than chained to a post in a feedlot, shocked with an electric prod, and given the slaughterhouse treatment. Maybe it's just an ethnic thing on my part.

I've rambled as much as I want to, so I must now say,

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Everybody's Getting into the Act

2010-07-23T17:09:00.000-07:00

Even Pig From Pearls Before Swine has figured out there's something amiss in the energy industry:

I love Pearls Before Swine. I have thought about getting this tshirt, but I'd never have the guts to wear it.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

A Parable of Harpoons and Holes in the Ground

2010-07-22T15:03:00.000-07:00

Long ago and not really that far away a great country was faced with a problem. They were threatened with losing a major energy source. This was a clean burning fuel that almost everyone used to light their houses.

Year after year, the energy companies reported more and more difficulty finding their oil. As sources nearer to the great country ran dry, the great whaling ships circled the globe in search of their oil-filled prey.

Whale oil was becoming more and more expensive every year. A growing great country needed an energy source that had the capacity to grow with the country. A dwindling source of energy would not do.

Other sources of energy existed at the time, however none were as easy to use as whale oil. Provincials in the country's southern plains were experimenting with a viscous and tarry black liquid that seeped out of the ground. When they could get the liquid to burn, it produced a lot of heat, along with clouds of black smoke that would never do for lamps. The supply of this petroleum seemed unlimited. The more holes the people drilled, the more this strange black petroleum liquid gushed.

The great country's government needed to take action. They knew the country needed more energy soon. There was a choice; would government policy support greater and greater efforts to pursue fewer and fewer whales, or would the government support development of new energy sources and technologies?

Possibly some argued that the maximum resources possible should be directed towards pursuing and harvesting more whale oil more efficiently. After all, whale oil was the only proven liquid energy source. Who could tell what that messy petroleum would be good for. Only a nut would want to burn petroleum to heat and light his house. That stuff stinks!

Others may have argued that the nascent petroleum industry was the way to a great future. Perhaps they saw the futility of spending more and more of a nation's treasure in the pursuit of a finite and dwindling energy resource.

In that day, long, long ago, the forward looking view ruled the day. Rather than providing subsidies to the proven but dwindling whaling industry, the government adopted several policies, including lucrative tax incentives, that rewarded investment and development of petroleum.

Everyone got lucky. Petroleum refinement technologies came online to make many versatile fuels, plus it turned out even the gases that leaked from the holes in the ground were an efficient and valuable fuel. As if that wasn't enough, petroleum's unique properties provided the basis for a chemical industry that revolutionized everyday life. “Better living through chemistry” was the mantra of the age.

The decades passed.

The great country's supplies of petroleum dwindled. In order to keep growing, the great country needed to scour the world for petroleum, not unlike globe-traversing whaling fleets of a previous age. Every year, explorers went further and further afield, drilled deeper and deeper holes. The price of fuel rose without relief.

There were some developments in new and untried energy resources.

By this time, after many generations of generous subsidies to the petroleum industry, the government could not find the courage to meaningfully subsidize the new frontiers of energy. The government made token subsidies to the new energy industry, while other countries leaped forward with bold initiatives. The politicians traveled the country to boast about their token programs that provided a few million dollars toward developing new energy sources, while subsidizing the petroleum industry with 10s of billions of dollars.

Other countries developed new and daring technologies while the great country's citizens sat home and watched it all on their giant flat screen TVs (manufactured by the very same other countries), wondering if it was their fate to remain a great country, or if they would fade away like the whalers of old.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Tomorrow The World

2010-07-22T11:58:00.000-07:00

International Hanginininsac readership statistics show disturbing trends. Why doesn't anyone in Ireland read the blog. I can understand the lack of readers in China, since I'm probably banned there. I'm sure the Chinese leadership shakes in fear. I'm not sure what it is about Sub-Saharan Africa. I thought I'd have a lot of readers there, since I get email from Nigeria all the time.

This map shows readership over the last several months.
Anyway, what it is is what it is.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it

M C Escher stairwaysapoozalah

2010-07-21T10:57:00.000-07:00

This is one of the coolest interactive lookie-loos I have ever seen. I just had to post it here.

Tribute to Escher in Barcelona

This is fun to play with for a minute or two.

That's me story and i'm sticking to it.

It's been a quiet week hangin in Sac.

2010-07-20T14:59:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since the last substantial post to Hangininsac.

I'd like to say I was just too busy doing all sorts of way cool and interesting things, but I'd be a liar if I did. The dreaded Sacramento summer heat finally arrived last week. Daily high temperatures over 100 degrees F caught me off guard after a thankfully mild spring and early summer. I spent a lot of the last 5 or 6 days languishing in the heat. Really hiding inside from about 11 AM to 8 or 9 PM. Even with the hot afternoons, it's still been cool enough at night to have open windows and fans.

The next six weeks are normally the worst weather of the year here. It's like January in Wisconsin. After that, It'll be September and if it's too hot I can feel more justified in complaining.

While wallowing indoors, I took some time to upgrade the little computer. The Netbook came with Microsoft Works, which, in addition to being named with an oxymoron, absolutely sucks. Word was not a reasonable option, since on grounds of principle alone, I refuse to pay more for a Microsoft program than was originally paid for the computer & its original software.

Open Office came to the rescue. I am writing this on open office at this very moment. I have used the word processor a few times, and I'm starting to like it better than Word. Open office rules. I'll have to find something that needs the spreadsheet. They even have an Outlook-clone misinformation generator.

(I am trying my best to no longer refer to Microsoft as The Evil Empire, since after Steve Jobs's almost embarrassing attempt to smear Consumer Reports in retaliation for their pointing out Apples embarrassing product deficiency, we now have The Right To Choose between two Evil Empires. I just love oligarchy capitalism. (Almost as much as I love using parentheses too much.))

My hack musician career has been taking off. My flute (really flute and low part recorder) trio has been invited to play at a “private concert” of the Saturday Club. The pressure is on, because I think the Saturday Club's expects high quality performances at these events. We're scheduled to play November 20, which is the anniversary of Mexico's 1910 Revolution. That's the one that wasn't against France and didn't happen 12 days before Syttende Mai. Anyway our second rehearsal sounded pretty good for the most part. I have a lot of difficult music to learn. At the onset, I was worried about being dumped because playing a super sized plastic recorder with flutes is kind of weird. The flute “kids” seem to think the ensemble sound is OK, since they haven't kicked me out. Playing music written for flute really drives home how much easier life is with all those extra flute and clarinet keys versus the seven holes you get on a recorder. My fingers are getting a workout. Maybe that will make my typing improve.

This would all have been a lot easier if I had just originally taken up flute instead of clarinet. However, in suburban Chicago in 1970, boys did not play flute. No uhuh, it just wasn't done. Clarinet was already dangerously close to the legal limit for fem-ness. Guess I was supposed to play trombone or something manlier.

I'm about talked out. Time to get back to wood shedding.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

In Which We Played Some Oldies for Some Oldies

2010-07-13T17:41:00.000-07:00

I had my date playing at the Crown Plaza assisted living facility in the Arden area. I know we went over well, since no one threw anything at us.

This is a very nice facility, it was well lit, cheerful, and very clean. The rooms are built around a large two-story atrium where we played. The folks looked like they were very well cared for. From what I saw, I would recommend this place to anyone who needs that level of care.

I played clarinet to accompany Ralph, an 87 year old retired dentist, church organist, and occasional clarinet player who lives in his own place in my area. I wore black slacks, a white shirt and a thin tie from the early 1960s (thanks to my dad for not throwing that tie away). I could have been mistaken for the skinny Schmenge brother who became an accountant instead of joining the band. We looked something like this, just dump the accordion, and add a piano.

I suspect Ralph is older than most of the residents I saw, and he and his wife are still going like gangbusters. Ralph played the well- tuned grand piano that lives in the atrium, and I played clarinet. The atrium had a stone tile floor, so the reverberation was awesome. I love playing clarinet in a big echoing room.

I couldn't see most of the people who were listening, since they stayed in an open upstairs lobby where the big bingo game had just ended. The only people I could see were about 10 people in wheelchairs who probably didn't want to play bingo that day. One of the men didn't look a lot older than me, and another guy looked a little like an older Benny Goodman. Both a little scary to see.

It was like being in the Lawrence Welk Show. Our program varied from old Cole Porter show tunes,to pop tunes like "Stand by Me" to the "Clarinet Polka",which I didn't completely choke on. We started the program with a duet of the Ellington classic "Don't Get Around Much Anymore". I was worried that choice might seem a bit cruel for people in a home, but they just seemed happy to hear old familiar tunes.

We played for about ninety minutes. We enjoyed playing together, and a few of the residents said they enjoyed hearing us. A lady in a wheelchair even flirted at me! A Groupie!

It just doesn't get better than that.

That' s my story and I'm sticking to it.

Homeopathic Humor Comes in Small Doses

2010-07-12T13:40:00.000-07:00

"Le canard, Il dit quain, quain." means "The duck says quack, quack" for you Anglophile peasants.

I have always gotten a kick out of Homeopathy. I agree that's a strange place to find your kicks. But if the shoe fits. ..

What I love about Homeopathy is that the practice is based on a paradigm that I would describe as pure sophistry, and the practitioners are quacks. That said, these folks can be pretty entertaining.

My favorite story, which I won't bother documenting comes from the recent British trail "concluded that homeopathy is no more effective than placebo". A BBC interviewer asked how many homeopathic medicines can work when they are so dilute that they cannot possibly contain a single molecule of the active ingredient.

The Homeopathic practitioner quacked back something like ; "Well, you see,the nature of the pure water is changed." I love magik too!

I promised a joke, so here's the joke:

OK, you got your joke. Now Laugh, Dammit!!

BTW I spent Sunday afternoon with Hangininsac's official Brooding Dutchman. Expect a deep thoughts posting soon. You've been warned.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Grateful Dead Giants of San Francisco

2010-07-08T16:12:00.000-07:00

This rare video, taken in 1993 at Candlestick Park, combines two of the best things about San Francisco, The Grateful Dead and the Giants. Two bad both institutions are in an equally moribund state these days.

This is one of the better live renditions of the Star Spangled Banner I have heard in a long time. After hearing this, I have to ask, "So how come the Dead's singing usually sucked so bad in their concerts?"

The announcer's comment at the end is an unexpected bonus. "How'd (they) get the Grateful Dead? They just asked for them." Worthy of Lao Tzu.

That's my story and I'm sticking ot it.

Something Special - A Charm School Lesson From Wisconsin

2010-07-07T18:36:00.000-07:00

Is it jsut me, or does Wisconsin seem to generate more than its fair of bad crazynes.

Today's lesson comes from the story of Madison Wisconsin's very own Keith Rasmussen. Keith broke several rules of gentlemanly manners and comportment, and is probably a good candidate for AA.

Hangininsac is proud to publish an exclusive fabricated interview with Rasmussen:

Mr Manners: So, I heard you had an interesting evening.

Rasmussen: Well, it started out good,until I puked at the strip club. Then everything went downhill.

Mr Manners: Ah, that was your first social blunder. Better society pukes in the bathroom sink, or in the alley behind the strip club. Puking in the VIP lounge tends to make strippers reluctant to give lap dances, and attracts unwanted attention from bouncers. What happened next?

Rasmussen: They threw me out, like I was some kind of bum.

Mr Manners: And this surprized you.

Rasmussen: You bet your p0lite ass, I was mad as hell. So I rammed their building with my truck.

Mr Manners: Do you think that was a good idea?

Rasmussen: I took off as quick as I could. Decided it was time to go home. If some tattle tale hadn't called the cops, it would have been no problem at all. I tried to be my smoothest when I talked to the cops, but they dragged me to the jail.

Mr Manners: Ah, yes, when I get stopped, I usually greet police by asking, "How can I help you?

Rasmussen: I told them I was "not good, but I had seen some nice strippers". Then they gave me a sobriety test. It's those damn cops with ESP. It must've been their second sight that clued them in. They asked if I had been driving, but, hey, I'm way too smart for that old trick, so I told them Martians had been driving my truck.

Mr Manners: Well boys and girls, let'sreview what we learned today:

(1) Puke in puke friendly areas only.

(2) Don't ram your truck into a strip joint.

(3) The police won't appreciate hearing about Martians and strippers, especially if a strip joint has recently been rammed and you truck is freshly dented.

By the way, I guess driving a vehivcal through the wall could be considered "entering or leaving a controlled access unlawfully". No foolin.

Well children, drive carefully and don't forget your manners.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Happy Independence Day

2010-07-05T09:54:00.001-07:00

This is too good not to share.

Travel and Time

2010-07-01T12:36:00.000-07:00

First, a few words about travel in the early years of the 21st century.

Warning, Warning. Danger Will Robinson! It’s nothing like what Walt Disney promised us in Tomorrow Land. I want my supersonic personal air transport unit and I WANT IT NOW!!!!! We were sold a bill of goods, and I am not amused.

We are at the Milwaukee airport waiting to start our flight to Sacramento via Minneapolis. Travel just isn’t what it used to be. Airline travel is a lot like what I remember about Greyhound in the 1970s. Really, more like Greyhound if it had been run by the East German Police. This airport’s greatest distinction is Renaissance Books, a used bookstore located in the terminal. I killed some time looking at a large illustrated edition of Paradise Lost. In the engravings, Satan was the coolest looking of all the angels, as it should be.

The luggage screeners just gave my briefcase the old wipe-for-explosive-residue routine. (I don’t know if that actually does anything, or if they do it for our entertainment). When they took my case for “further screening”, I was glad the Irish Historical novel I just finished reading was in our checked bag. After all, Irish history is little more than the stories of terrorists who won, or the current Sinn Fein and Provos (provisional IRA) terrorists who seem to be winning a war of attrition, that, thank goodness, has been a cold war for the last few years. I guess the evil of terrorism is in the eyes of the beholder. However I was not amused when Gerry Adam’s mates blew up one of my client’s offices in the National Westminster Bank building back in the day. I like freedom fighters as much as the next guy, but when they blow up places I frequent, I say the heck with them. The guy they pulverize could be me.

On the bright side, traveling cattle car class is one of the few experiences where the skinny and shorter guy wins. I have plenty of room to relax (no knees in chin, no girth flowing into adjacent seats), and the seats are well enough padded that my Diminished Gluteal Syndrome doesn’t give me a sore backside. Otherwise it’s a very unrewarding experience. I’m lucky flying was so much easier and more pleasant when I had to fly for work.

Rental car experiences have been good the last several trips I’ve made to Wisconsin. Even a couple of years ago when I left the lights on all night and the rental guys came out, jumped my car and brought me a new replacement car. They didn’t even laugh at me, I was embarrassed enough already.

We booked our hotel through Hotwire.com. We got a deal, $51 per night for a room at the Sheraton by the Dane County Coliseum. That was an unbelievable good deal. That’s why I’m bragging. The catch with Hotwire is that we were only able to select “a 3.5 star hotel” in the downtown region”, and had to pay in advance, before the hotel’s name was revealed. We got lucky.

When we arrived late at night, we found out we got luckier. They were pretty full so they upgraded us to the Executive floor (remember Pink Floyd - “I’m in the high fidelity first class traveling set I think I need a Learjet”? The room had duvet comforters instead of bedspreads, and an awesomely large big screen TV. Our room was on the 7^th floor, which was inaccessible to the riffraff staying on the lower floors. The floor had a lounge area with an even bigger TV, free cookies and soda, and free breakfast. A free cheerios, oatmeal and milk is a great deal. My only criticism is that the towels were not executive towels. They weren’t oversized and were no more soft and thirsty than any middle class towels. What indignities we suffered. We had to have our electronic room key cards re-coded twice, when the elevators stopped recognizing them, and allowing us access only to the floors full of riffraff rooms.

Now, on to the main event.

We went to Madison for our parents’ 60^th anniversary party. It was a good visit. I won’t talk too much about the party or the relatives, because no one could possibly care, beyond the folks who’d be tattled upon. If you were all there and you know it was good. If you weren't,you probably wouldn't care anyway. I can say that my sister arranged and executed almost everything for this pretty big party, including a gorgeous wedding cake that tasted like the best sour cream coffee cake ever. It was the first wedding cake my parents ever had, and my mom loved it.

I get to Madison at least once a year to visit the parents and sister that live near Jon Johnson in Wisconsin by the big school there. I enjoyed this visit more than most. I usually visit alone in the autumn which certainly beats June’s weather, not to mention fall colors. I usually get some time to myself to poke around in the downtown / university area and walk in the University Arboretum. These are all good things taken at face value.

Spending all that time in town tends to reinforce a feeling that I’m past the springtime of my life. I moved away from Madison over 20 years ago. My life then was certainly far from perfect; I was in a marriage headed toward failure and my career was less than ideal for both me and my employer (I was headed toward failure with them as well). All that said, I was young and the future seemed a lot bigger than the past. So much has changed around Madison in these decades. Taking the time to idle around the local scene usually leads to an uncomfortable feeling. A feeling that this world has moved on, and no one bothered to save a seat here for me. That is not an encouraging feeling. It makes me wonder what’s left beyond rolling up my pants and walking on the beach along with J Alfred Prufock. I think I really need to buy more peaches at this Saturday’s farmers market.

I will dare to buy a peach.

I will dare to eat the peach.

I will take care of my pet cat.

I will pet him.

I will call him George.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Actuaries Propose Unsupportable High Health Insurance Rates. . . Again

2010-06-26T11:17:00.000-07:00

Newsflash

After an independent examination of its recently proposed fat rate increase for individual health insurance policies in California, AETNA has admitted the facts do not justify its rate increase. In other words, we are asked to believe that AETNA's hundreds of credentialed actuaries committed an honest oversight that, if not found out, would have added millions in undeserved profits to to AETNA's treasury.

This is a repeat performance of what happened at Anthem/Wellpoint.

Now with two similar cases, I must stop beating a round the bush. The question must be asked out loud:

Are these hundreds of health insurance companies' actuaries compulsive liars, or are they consistently incompetent. Or, has the actuarial profession been reduced to something like a dead horse, filthy with the stench of corruption, surrounded by a cloud of buzzing liability lawyers. I can't rationalize how what we are seeing might be the result of acceptable behavior on the part of these companies' actuaries. I am not happy.

Professional ethics (yes, some people still have them) require me to step back and let you decide. Look at the facts and decide for yourself. Expect the results from similar reviews to emerge in the near future. You'll be able to read about them here.

For the record , "I have no opinion,and anyone who says otherwise is itching for a fight.".

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Music Al Fresco meets Sialia Mexicana

2010-06-21T15:12:00.000-07:00

We had another day of playing old music at Wade's ranch in San Joaquin County.

This bluebird came to listen while we were playing a Renaissance hymn by Thomas Talli s.

We had played a few pieces by a contemporary friend of Tallis, William Byrd just before this moment. Maybe it was really the Byrd pieces that attracted him.

Fortunately the birds didn't challenge us to a battle of the bands. We wouldn't have had a chance.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

I'm so Effing Sorry For Saying I'm sorry for that Effing Oil Spill

2010-06-17T17:02:00.000-07:00

Things are getting so sorrowfully absurd, I fall asleep every night haunted by the fear of awakening as a Cockroach.

Rep Joe Barton, America's biggest petroleum whore (according to this article) has apologised.

Joe Barton apologised for his previous apology to a BP executive during BP's testimony to congress in which the executive apologised for releasing the evils of hell into our world (OK, he probably didn't use those exact words). Barton was apologising for the Administrations refusal to accept BP's apology and demand cash instead.

So, if I have this right, this was an apology for an apology for a refusal to accept an apology.

Alas, Barton's work has only just begun. Since he's accepted over $1.4 million from big oil during his 20 year career of political prostitution, I am sure he'll have to explain all this to his greasy fingered pimps in the industry. that conversation will be (deep breath). . .

An apology for an apology for an apology for a refusal to accept an apology. I personally apologise that apologies can't be used to soak up spilled oil.

I must apologise in advance for saying that if this is the best America can do in a time of crisis, we have become an effing sorry excuse for a country.

That' s my story, and if you don't like it, I apologise.

Propositon 8 Trial - is an Attorney Channeling Kafka?

2010-06-17T13:51:00.000-07:00

Charles Cooper is the lead attorney defending Proposition 8 (the California "no gay marriage, please") proposition.

I can't say if Cooper is channeling Franz Kafka, but I can tell you he sure isn't channeling Socrates. The way he has run his defense has certainly resulted in theatre of the absurd.

My favorite exchange between Cooper and Judge Walker (thanks to the New Mexico Independent) :

“What testimony in this case supports the proposition?” Walker asked.
“You don’t have to have evidence of this,” Cooper replied.

This whole thing is just too weird for me.

When this whole trial started, I thought the issue might have something to do with the question of can a majority of voters pass a proposition to revoke a right for a minority (gay marriage was legal at the time Proposition 8 was passed by general election).

I like attending and playing at weddings when I can. I don't know a lot of younger folks. In my crowd, everybody straight who is the marrying type is already married. Even when I don't get paid, I always get at least a free lunch. How dare "they" take that away.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Another Great Interactive Map

2010-06-16T15:49:00.000-07:00

Forbes Online published this great interactive map showing where Americans moved in 2008.

Click on any county and you'll see red lines to counties where your county's movers ended up,and black lines from where your county's new residents started.

Dane County, WI shows a lot of out migration to the coasts and the southeast, and in migration from all over Wisconsin. These local immigrants may be students.

Sacramento, CA shows out migration to the southeast region, some in migration from other West Coast urban areas, and something going on with Minneapolis.

It's worth noticing that in most cases we are looking at pretty small numbers of people. You can click on a county to see its migration with your chosen county. You can see that 24 people moved from Sacramento to Dane County,and 36 moved from Dane County to Sacramento. Probably not enough to call trend.

Although I have no idea what it means, I say this is a very cool interactive map.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Why The World Cup is Awesome

2010-06-15T08:54:00.000-07:00

This series of pictures says it all.

Too bad British Goalkeeper Green's full name really isn't Robert Welsey Green. Or perhaps it is.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Angry clowns decry armed robbery by imposters

2010-06-13T10:29:00.001-07:00

Angry clowns decry armed robbery by imposters

What else can I say.

What's creepier than a clown? IMPOSTER CLOWNS INVADING CENTRAL AMERICA!!!!!

Imposter clowns have attained a foothold in the horn of Central America. "We must stop this menace now or they'll be in Texas in no time" - Henry Kissinger

I think there's nothing to worry about just yet, because San Salvador's apparently numerous authentic angry clowns are on the case.

However, vigilance in defense of liberty is no vice. Arizona Minutemen have been reported to be secretly waxing their slapsticks after they turn out the lights.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Farmers Market

2010-06-12T11:07:00.000-07:00

I started my day at the local Sacramento Farmers Market. What a great way to start the weekend. Everything looked so good I had to share some photos. I never knew how good fruit and vegetables could look.

We are just beginning the peach and plum and pluot season. The market vendors have several varieties in their orchards. We'll have great summer fruits through mid-September,when pears take over.

If I was a more flamboyant soul, maybe I'd buy a huge bouquet of fresh flowers every week. Since my cats would eat them and get sick,not gonna happen.

Tomatoes are still coming form the hothouses, which are really just a few furrows covered with plastic sheeting held up with bows of bent re-bar. i am hoping to see real outdoor tomatoes soon.

Apricots are dwindling, but still out there for those who want them. The peaches and nectarines were too good for me to buy past=peak apricots. Apricots are so "last week".

I have never seen more summer squash varieties than these folks offer. I make a giant ratatouille about once every three weeks in the summer. Note there isn't a zucchini in sight!

Amazingly, we still see winter vegetables in the summer. the fresh small carrots are unbelievably tasty, and readers know how I feel about the cabbage.

This is one of my favorite smaller operations at the market. This family has all sorts of Asian specialty vegetables, from Bitter melon to asparagus bean. They also have the best cherry tomatoes and eggplants you can buy anywhere.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Bon Appetite!

A Beer For Our Times

2010-06-11T14:06:00.000-07:00

Okay, really two beers for our times.

Okay, Okay, two 22 ounce high alcohol content beers for our times. Thanks to Lagunitas Brewery, probably the best thing in Petaluma besides the Sofa Kings.

I often end up impulse buying after I fall in love with the label. The actual beers usually vary from a good IPA to browner English style ales. My favorite kind of beer.
Their beers tend to be around 8% alcohol, so I know I've had a beer.

I bought the "Kill Ugly Radio" bottle a few years ago, and I think tonight is its night. I will cherish and display the empty bottle forever, because it is awesome.

The WTF Jobless Recovery Brew gives me something I've needed for a long time; a beer especially for the unemployed.

This turns into the old beer and wine thing. I feel like an anti Californian to say that I like beer better than wine. That's just the way it is. Now that our weather is warming up, beer sounds better and better every day. I have nothing against the wine, it's the snobs. I prefer a good drink without hearing about its virtues, and how it a stacks up against some other wine this other guy and his wife tasted last week in Yountville.

All I can think is, "I am glad you're enjoying this wine we're sharing, I'm glad you enjoyed some wine last week, now shut your pretentious pie hole so we can enjoy this wine today." Really, how hard is that?

The two serious winery owners I know, one with a small operation in Humboldt County and one with a large "high end" place in the Russian River Valley (BTW, take a close look at the picture on the homepage), share any of the wine-snob characteristics. With one exception: whenever they show up, they open a good bottle of wine. That's something I always encourage.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Lunch and Surveillance

2010-06-10T12:28:00.000-07:00

We are at the end of artichoke season, nothing but the memories are left.

Memories of great lunches like this one. This was from the short overlap of artichoke and local tomato season. The meat is sliced chicken that I grilled the previous Sunday. I try to fire up the charcoal grill once a week, and I try to throw on enough meat to last the week for DMIL, DW and I. The bread is my weekly home made bread, toasted. Now that the high temperatures have hit the upper 80s or worse, bread will come from the store until October.

It was a very good lunch, and it looked so darn pretty.

I took a close look at a pond near the river this morning. This started out as a little frog under the macro lens, but as close up photography tends to do, the image became a weird Jabba-the-Hut experience. His unblinking eye haunts my every moment.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

World War II: Millions Died, But The Posters Were Great

2010-06-04T16:48:00.000-07:00

Life magazine has published a great set of World War II propaganda posters. They are worth a look.

What I like about the is collection is the unvarnished angst and terror expressed in almost all the posters. We seem to have lost that willingness to hold no punches, to produce mass media that addresses the naked truths that haunt our dark hours. That may actually be a good thing, I don't know. In any event, the posters made me glad I wasn't living (or probably dying) in Europe then.

This poster reads, "We've beaten them before." I am a sucker for Alexander Nevsky-based propaganda. I guess after 700 years, its your turn to win, finally.

The grimness of a lot of these is sobering.

I was surprised at the variation ins styles. I like the stark simplicity and clarity of this poster.

Even the Museum of Modern Art got into the act with a national contest. This was the winner.

There is a certain 2oth Century Modern Art theme at work here.

Mais, non, ceci n'est pas une pipe (this is not a pipe).

mais sacre bleu, this is the enemy.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Subway Succumbs to Geometic Sense

2010-06-04T10:50:00.000-07:00

After years of a viral internet campaign, Subway has finally relented in their bassackwards and wasteful refusal to abide by the global truth that is Euclidian Geometry (and, in this case M. C. Escher's best trick).

Subway has issued a directive to its franchisees that, as of July first 2010, all isosceles triangle shaped cheese slice must be laid on the sandwich so the cheese slices tessellate. In plain English, that means Subway franchises will need to put the cheese on a sandwich so that the entire sandwich will be evenly covered with cheese.

Gawker.com provided an image of the order sent by SSA (Subway's Standards Archives?)to all franchises.

The illustrations really capture the idiocy of not tessellating in the first place. Gawker captures the importance of this change: "You will measure your life before and after this moment."

Just for the record, I have eaten at Subway, and I think they all absolutely suck. I had subway with a bunch of jugglers at a festival in Columbia, MO. I had no choice, everybody was ordering and one guy volunteered to drive out and pick everything up. I cannot recall ever eating anything mushier and less flavorful. They even seemed bland and lifeless surrounded by Columbia Missouri. Their sandwiches bring back memories of the school lunchroom, where I pitied kids whose Northern European culture stream compelled their parents to send them to school with bologna sandwiches on Wonder Bread, with no mustard. I pitied da fools.

If you must do chain subs, fortunately there are acceptable submarine sandwich chains around. Togos here in California, and Cousins in Wisconsin.

However, given the choice, I will always pay the couple of bucks extra and get the roast beef sam'wich at Sam's Hofbrau. If you really want to go crazy,you can pop for one of the $8 or $9 meat-and potatoes dinners. the turkey leg and stuffing for $5 is also one of my favorites,but they don't always have it. I always feel young when i go to Sam's, 'cause the average customer age must be near 70.

Be careful not to confuse this with the Sam's Hofbrau is Los Angeles. The LA joint claims to be "The only topless strip club in downtown LA". You've been warned.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it, even though I can't stick to one subject per blog post.

I Went To College - Today's Bike Ride

2010-06-02T12:05:00.000-07:00

In accordance with hangininsac's green policy of recycling old jokes, I can honestly tell you that I went to college today. . . for an arse- resting break in the middle of my bike ride. And to see what was happening (BTW, that's what was once known as ogling co-eds). It always seems I see far more female students than male. Perhaps I just don't notice grubby guys in unwashed jeans. Who Knows.

Anyway, the bike ride was the main event, with a little over14 miles of petal pushing pleasure. You'll notice my route isn't the most direct. I add about 1.5 miles each way to take the route that involves the least traffic-related angst. I cross two major streets, otherwise the ride is nearly traffic-free.

I found this route using Google Map's Biking direction option. I didn't like the route the utility picked, but it was easy to change. These recently introduced biking directions makes one case where I believe Google lives up to it's never-ending hype. I believe these biking directions will ultimately impact urban planning for the better, and probably soon.

The most interesting part of the trip is that I get to cross the Guy West Bridge over the American River to get from the Bike Trail to the campus. The Guy West Bridge is a very cool looking pedestrian bridge and a concrete reminder of what Sacramento could be if it really wanted to be something besides a venue for chain restaurants.

Yeah, I Know. Besides a really nice way to walk across the river, what this bridge illustrates best is Sacramento's unending and embarrassing need to be a "me-too"to San Francisco. Yes, we have a mini Golden Gate Bridge. When Sacramento does something besides foreclose on real estate and open national chain restaurants, it usually tries to imitate San Francisco. Usually pulls it off with the subtlety and of a chimpanzee singing after seeing the opera. Sacramento may have a population well over 2 million, but it's a big small city. When Sacramento finds its own identity, it will have grown up.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Hilarity From Humorless Hacks

2010-06-02T08:06:00.000-07:00

The California Protection of Marriage Act (CPOMA) supporters found this conversation on America Speaking Out, a conservative website for angry and cowardly white men to anonymously complain about how everybody else needs to change to improve America. Like most people who broadcast half-baked politically inclined whinging, many are humorless and clueless. Hmmm, white guys obsessed with what's wrong with everybody else.

Read this and have a good laugh.

The thread starts with a posting by a supporter of CPOMA who states his argument that we must protect marriage by criminalizing divorce. The first two responses go along with this mentioning serial divorced Republicans who might sponsor the legislation. Note the screen names attached to the posts; "RepublicansRDumb" and "BiohazardBurrito". At this point, only a completely humor -impaired full-frontal lobeless moron would take this discussion seriously.

That's where jimboton comes in, with his uniquely insightful comment, "How does forcing people to stay married help anyone?".

Just another example of how being a political extremist and hanging around with like minded types (and I use the term "mind" loosely here) makes you stupid and humorless.

Be vigilant, my fellow Americans. Extremism in Defense of Humor is no vice.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Possibly my Favorite Cartoon Ever

2010-05-31T13:56:00.000-07:00

The Abominable Snowman and his new pet bunny rabbit. We loved this when we were kids.

"I'll call him George."

Arthur, our male cat, is the real George. I hug him and squeeze him and pet him. He demands it.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

More Dalhi Lama Jokes

2010-05-30T15:31:00.000-07:00

I'm sure almost everyone has heard the standard Dalhi Lama and the New York hotdog cart guy joke.

Dalhi Lama (DL): "Make me one with everything"

DL: Hey, where's my change?

Hotdog vendor: Change comes from within.

Thanks to a recent surreal oped in the New York Times, we can let that tired old joke retire.

John Kenney's op ed records a short conversation from a night barhopping with His Holiness. It is absurd and kind if fun.

Some sample dialogue:

“What does a guy have to do to get a beer around here?” he said, more under his breath than to anyone in particular. Then he started laughing. “Patience, right? Let’s live in this moment. It’s just that it would be a better moment if we had beer.” Then he started laughing again. "

Short and strange and I liked it.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Oil Spilling - Boom Goes the Boom

2010-05-28T09:03:00.000-07:00

Our friend Dennis, sent me a link to this video. (Note language in the video is NSFW)

The video starts with a rather dull two minutes of recapping the history of British Petroleum's mess in the Gulf of Mexico, but gets interesting and entertaining after that. It's a six minute documentary about booms, narrated by someone experienced in the industry, and peppered with colorful local language presumably from platform-land out there.

Don't fade during the opening two minutes. This is fun and interesting, although not encouraging.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

What's All This About Marriage Laws?

2010-05-27T08:08:00.000-07:00

This is what it's about.

That's their story, but I'm sticking to it.

My Band is "Still Blowing Strong", Reports Local papers

2010-05-26T17:57:00.000-07:00

The Sacramento Concert band's 40th Anniversary concert made the news!

Susan Skinner, a local big band torch singer, published biographer of Princess Diana, New Zealand native, and band booster through and through wrote what I can honestly describe as a positively sparkling article about our concert. You can see it in the Carmichael Times under the headline, "Still Blowing Strong".

Trust me that this short article is worth reading. I'll give you just two sentences so you can savor its irresistible appeal;

"The birthday program rang the changes precisely as percussion
bells. Director Grant Parker’s baton swung seamlessly from Bach to Copeland."

I hope Bach and Copeland didn't sustain any permanent head injuries.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

At the Corner of Steampunk and Star Trek

2010-05-26T17:49:00.001-07:00

Coming to a galaxy near you.

This is from a series of "fixed" taxidermy specimens created by New Zealand artist Lisa Black. Her work is both awesome and disturbing.

Her fixed baby crocodile makes another bold statement about man's relationship with our natural world or something or other.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

The Perfect Man Toy . ..Packers and Trains!

2010-05-26T17:38:00.000-07:00

Thanks to the magic of targeted advertising on the interwebs, I got to see this!

That's my story and it goes round and round.

The Great American Cop Out

2010-05-26T14:06:00.000-07:00

I realized I have for the most part tuned out from what passes for political discussion in this great land of ours these days. Together, we have traveled a great distance from a time when a politician who dared ask we Americans to get off our collective arse and do something to improve our country and our lives actually got elected

Most of the political discussion I hear recently follows something like this stale libretto;

I don't like the way things are going (oh, woe is me)
I'm doing everything right, so this isn't fair
Someone else needs to improve, and everything will be great.

I don't mean to pick on the Tea Party folks, or anyone else. I hear this trend from every corner of the public policy boxing ring. (BTW, why does a boxing ring have corners? Discuss amongst yourselves.)

I can give a few examples of this. I don't want to give to many for fear of sounding like a filibuster from The Honorable Senator Oscar T Grouch.

On California's inability to land a state budget within 2 parsecs of the milky way, we hear our honorable politicians and pundits (consistently from green to tea partying Republicans) tell us the problem is that the Federal Government won't promise to lend the state about $10 billion. I mean, really now, our Governor asked nicely, so what's their problem. If only the Federal Government would find the money. . . Perhaps California's long history of reaching political compromise (in both the legislature and general election propositions) by simultaneously granting tax decreases and increased program expenditures is a behavior that needs changing. . .naah.

Arizona (sigh). . . I don't even know what problems the good people of Arizona plan to solve by passing a proposition to make "Brown without a license" probable cause for arrest. All I can figure out is that someone thinks Mexicans can solve Arizona's problems by going away, and this law will help them do just that. All I can say is that if I lived in a real estate market as arse-over-teakettle , I would not want to vote for any law designed to drive potential renters or home buyers away from my community. (Oopsy, I forgot I do live in that kind of market. If only I could have invented a Star Trek transformer and found my Santa Clara brother a place here. Would've saved beaucoup bux).

An entire nation is complaining about China. We demand loads and loads of cheap crap, which they pretty much uncomplainingly labor to provide to us, and willingly lend us scads of money to buy more when whatever we bought breaks. Perhaps, just perhaps, if we Americans saved our own money before buying things, and demanded and paid for quality, things might be different.

Enough of my griping. I'm rambling, so sue me to get your time back.

I'll end this with a short quote form Mahatma Gandhi, the worlds toughest many. Seriously folks, he beat the British Army with nothing but a loincloth.

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."

All The World In California

2010-05-19T10:48:00.000-07:00

At least, according to paramount Studios in 1927.

The Map Room found a map from 1927 showing California filming locations that producers could use as a fake for exotic locales.

Out of the whole world, how did I end up by the Mississippi River?

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Wisconsin - Why Can't Something Special Ever Be From Anywhere Else?

2010-05-18T11:29:00.000-07:00

Wisconsin had a strong day in its continuing efforts to be a pretty strange place.

First, we have the 4th Annual World Champion Cabbage Chuck in Shiocton, WI. Throwing kraut isn't that weird. Heck, I once threw a buffalo chip in a contest for Omaha's River City Roundup (I didn't do very well). BTW, best not to confuse this Omaha event with Sacramento's own River City Roundup, which appears to be a gathering of gay AA members. You do need to be careful, since both events probably feature a lot of young guys wearing chaps.

Anyway,what I think Kraut Wrestling definitely qualifies as Something Special from Shiocton.

If kraut wrestling isn't enough, pedestrians around Stevens Point need to keep an eye out for the the dreaded blow dart sniper. After all, how can we defend the homeland from terrorists who boldly admit they "like to hear people say ouch". If you say "ouch" the terrorists have already won.

I can't prove it, but it seems like Wisconsin produces more than its share of "get-a-load-of-this" news items.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Fitting In

2010-05-18T11:20:00.001-07:00

Well, that's my story, thanks to Diesel Sweeties, which btw is borderline NSFW and not very funny for the most part, based on a quick reading of a couple of cartoons.

I am moving to find some unpaid opportunities, since the prospect of paid endeavors is not exactly shiny these days. I thought I could spend some time in the cat adoption and rescue field. I have done that work before and enjoyed it. Would you like fries with your kitten?

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

We Live in an An Age of Miracles and Wonders

2010-05-17T13:37:00.000-07:00

We really do.

Earlier this month both regular hangininsac readers learned that the age of cyberpunk has arrived.

Now, assisted by and relying on diligent and scrupulous reporting from Australia's Daily Telegraph, I can report to you that. . .

. . . "the Voyager 2 spacecraft may have been hijacked by aliens after sending back data messages NASA scientists can't decode."

I've worked all night, and I think I figured out most of the message.

Mxssagx From Your Lxadxr

Xarthlings, I will soon arrivx from thx Planxt Cxrxs. Hxxd my commandmxnts:

I am zxyxn,prxfxct of the Omxga quadrant and you shall havx no othxr law giving alixns bxforx mx. All humans shall hxrxtoforx sxrvx mx or facx dxath by nuggixs.

Thou shalt not takx my namx in vain. Though shalt takx by mouth, and no morx than four timxs xach day.

Thou shalt not witnxss falsx bxars by my namx, lxst thx bxar bx lxft witlxss. Furhtxr, though shalt always rxmembxr; bxttxr to bxar a grudgx than to grudgx a bxar.

Rxmxmbxr thx absinthx, and drink of it hxartily, for absinthx dost makx thx hxart grow foggixr.

Honor thy mothxr and fathxr, bxcausx I said so, that’s all thx rxason thou nxxdxst. Undxrstand?

Thou art not krill. Thou nxxdst not swim in polar sxas nor fxar whalxs.

Thou shall not commit adultxry, thosx who transgrxss this commandmxnt may bx forcxd to try a duxl, for what good is a commandmxnt without an anagram.

Though shall not Stxphxn Covxy, nor shall thou worship any falsx mxthod of sxlf hxlp. Thou shall not adhxrx to thx sxvxn practicxs of sucknxss.

Rxsistancx is futilx, you will bx assimilatxd.

Remember, you heard it here first.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. I think I have too much time on my hands.

Deep Thoughts And Words To Live By

2010-05-13T12:15:00.000-07:00

This came to me in an epiphany last evening.

"Tis better to bear a grudge than to grudge a bear."

Remember, you heard it here first.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Jepson Prairie - Of Blow Wives and Vernal Pools

2010-05-12T11:12:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday we visited a Jepson Prairie, a large tract of land containing giant vernal pools. Jepson Prairie is owned and managed by the Solano Land Trust. The Land Trust offers free guided tours on Saturdays. Three volunteers lead our tour. They were all experts in the unique plant and animal species that live in vernal pools.One of the guides even fished out all sorts of specimens for us to observe.

Vernal pools happen when a an impenetrable layer of clay lies a few inches under the ground surface, and you get a wet winter followed by a long dry summer, with no rain at all. The ponds form in slight depressions During the winter, and dry up in the summer.

For the plant enthusiasts, you get unique plants that evolved to grow along the edge of the pools as the pools evaporate. In the spring, as the pools evaporate, you'll see an edge of plants around the pools.

The land is so flat that even these large pools are almost never deeper than knee-deep. You could walk across the whole thing in wellington boots. However, it's better illegal to walk in the pools without a permit.

You might also see blow wives growing in the grasslands between the pools. What an amazing name for a perfectly ordinary little prairie wildflower. I have no idea how a plant could ever come into a name like that. The docent-guides were sure to point out the blow wives to us. Somehow I suspect their interest in this plant is not completely innocent.

I thought the animal species were just amazing. The pools hadn't dried out yet, and they were teeming with weird stuff. I'll start with my favorite, the tadpole shrimp.

This is a very old species. Although they are each about the size of a quarter, they look like they would like to attach themselves to your neck and suck your brains out, probably slowly and painfully. Since they evolved hundreds of millions of years before vertebrates, that would be pretty unlikely, so I guess there's really nothing much to worry about. The guide passed around a small glass bowl of these, fresh from the pool. The closer I looked,the creepier these things seemed. They were the highlight of the trip for me.

We had a similar close look at a newt of a spotted salamander. The newt looked a lot like A Japanese Anime film character called Panyo.

The Solano land trust's Flickr page has hundreds of photos. If you want a more comprehensive look, that's where you should go.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Equal Time For The Prince of Darkness

2010-05-11T14:21:00.000-07:00

Well, kids,it looks like Our Lady of Grilled Cheese is getting a run for her money.

New Zealand is abuzz with the discovery of a canned pear half bearing a demonic face.

The pears were processed in China, Safeway Traders Ltd in Auckland assured the woman who found the pear half that "during production the pear halves were checked by people at the Chinese plant as a quality control measure."

That's my story and I'm sticking ot it.

Straight, No Chaser

2010-05-06T10:29:00.000-07:00

Hire these cats for your next event in Marin or Sonoma County, CA. They are awesome. The contact info is in the video.

The bass cat has been personally tested by me, as you can see here:

Test result: Very Cool.

Seriously, if you don't hire these guys (like, the cats in the video, daddy-yo), this dude can't accept responsibility for the suboptimal coolness of your event. Dig?

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Danger! Danger! Tax Collection Cyborgs are on the Loose!

2010-05-05T12:29:00.000-07:00

Thanks to the Pennsylvania Department of Revenue, there can be no more doubt that cyberpunk has moved from Science Fiction to Social Reality.

How'd you like to pour your morning coffee, turn on the toob for Good Morning Pittsburgh or whatever, and see this:

I almost fudged the old undies when I saw this, and I pay my taxes. I thought the Trilateral Commission's World Government Conspiracy was supposed to be a secret, what are they doing bragging and trash-talking? This just doesn't make any sense.

Besides, thanks to my tin foil hat, they'll never find me.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

What Exactly are America's Priorities?

2010-05-05T11:55:00.000-07:00

Les Leopold wrote what I though was a cogent article laying out what is considered a radical viewpoint these days. Reading this highly opinionated article was a pleasure.

It's rare in our American political discourse to be treated to something close to Socratic discourse. I usually see one of two things; Either some opinionated know--it-all screaming about whatever is he knows better (think O'Reilly factor and Kieth Oberman), or writers repeating the same tired old points in increasing shrill language through long and repetitive and nearly fact-free screeds (Alternet and The Drudge Report).

Leopold is looking at his home state of New Jersey, where the Governor is fighting to sh*t can teachers and increase class sizes. He's also looking at New Jersey's handful of hedge fund managers who, in 2009 brought home total pay equal to millions of New Jersey's teachers.

Leopold dares to ask the obvious question, "If, as they say, you get what you pay for, what are we paying for, and what are we getting?"

As an aside, he points out that U. S. Financial Sector profits have bounced back to pre-collapse levels . Do you think think their profits derive from wonderful new productive enterprises, or are they pumping hot gas in to new bubbles. Your every last dollar depends on this, so I wish you all luck, and I wish me luck.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Dallas Cowboys Implosion

2010-05-02T19:47:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Immersive Media, you can see a 36o degree interactive video of the old Dallas Cowboys Stadium imploding. What better thrill can there be for a Packers fan (uh, besides Brett Favre wearing a purple jersey and getting sacked)?

Play this thing, scan left, play it again, scan right. This is the coolest thing I've seen on the interwebs in a long time. You can scan to follow the process of the implosion as it moves around the stadium. You really can!

If you were referred from a fantasy football site, sorry if you were expecting strategic tips on shorting the Cowgirls. I've been seing about 20 referrals from fantasy league sights per day. Enjoy the video anyway. It's way cool.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Another Cruciferous Super Hero

2010-05-01T10:36:00.001-07:00

Once again, the farmers market has come through big-time. This time it was an earth-hippy organic outfit. Actually, the hippies weren't there today, their teen aged kids were running the show.

Every superhero needs a sidekick. The Kraut of the Nibelung cannot fight evil alone.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present you The Brain!

Like the Kraut OTN, I purchased this beauty for Three dollars. The Brain reports that she will protect Truth, Justice and the American Way by keeping the all brains, cranial encased or naturist, free from the threat of zombies.

The Brain's most awesome evil-fighting weapon is her poison gas blast attack, which has the ability to overcome evildoers at the most awkward and unexpected times.

The Brain just signed a contract to appear with co-stars potatoes, onions, and peas in a revival production of Great Big Pot of Curry, coming to lunches and dinners in California for a while.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Tell Me It Ain't So, Shoeless Joe Actuary

2010-04-30T12:13:00.000-07:00

Unless you've been living in a cave the last few months, you probably have heard about a large rate increase Wellpoint (doing business under the "Anthem" name) had proposed for their Individual Health Insurance policies in California.

After several nationally televised presidential finger waggings, Wellpoint and California's Insurance Commissioner (none other than Governor's office hopeful Steve Poizner) agreed to engage a third party to review the actuarial justification for the increases. Dave Axene of Axene Health Partners was engaged.

The results of the review are best summed up in this USA Today Headline: Oops! .

The review determined the actuarial calculations used by Wellpoint to justify the rate increase introduced several errors that in total resulted in average increases about 10% higher than actuarially justified.

Prior to the release of the report, Anthem (really Wellpoint) announced that it is removing the rate increases, and will come back in a month or so with something that might be more coherent. Anthem's mouthpiece claimed that the overstuffed rate increase was due to "mathematical error".

In other words, we are asked to believe this was simply an honest mistake. Certainly an esteemed and universally loved corporation would not file excessive rates with the hope that their screwy math underlying the rates would never be scrutinized.

There is no way of knowing how these "errors", which would have conveniently worked to lard up premiums and Wellpoint's treasury by millions, occured. Given no other evidence, I must presume this is an honest mistake made by well meaning actuaries. It is very hard to believe that.

Please, Shoeless Joe Actuary, please tell me it ain't so.

Wellpoint employs over 160 accredited actuaries. It would be unusual for a high exposure (i. e., big enough to raise public anger) rate increase to be proposed without several levels of peer review. I fail to see how this could have happened.

Poizner reports "state officials immediately suspected Anthem's original proposal was inaccurate, but company officials insisted it was not. However, the company agreed to the independent evaluation by outside experts". It seems unbelievably stupid that someone wouldn't have taken a close look at this mess, knowing that in short time, all would be revealed.

This doesn't smell so good.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Please Ye All and. . .

2010-04-29T08:02:00.000-07:00

If this article from a questionable source holds true, we may have seen the first unintended consequence of the recent Federal Health Care Legislation (OK, I agree,it's really just Health Insurance legislation).

The article smugly claims the legislation requires new congress persons and congressional employees find their health insurance through the exchanges, rather than through the Federal Employees program. Too bad for the newbies - the exchanges won't exist for few years.

This appears to be a technical glitch written into the law during the the negotiation and last minute rush (i. e., abandoning common sense principals while pandering to google-eyed gun-totin' flat-earth conservatives).

Of course, congressional staff will be quick to fix this glitch. I am sure there will be other glitches, and we'll see how legislative oopsies that only hurt folks wothout inside the beltway influence get resolved. My advice - don't hold your breath.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

How IBM Saved The World. . .Not

2010-04-28T11:33:00.000-07:00

In case you were busy with other things in the late 1970s and early 1980s, you might like this short video from IBM.

If you ever wondered how Apple and Microsoft were able to conquer IBM's old empire and divide it among themselves in less than a decade, This 1977 IBM commercial might give you a hint.

The beauty of this is that IBM really believed they had the answer. They stopped working on intensely on smaller computer technology for several years because they were sure they had had already solved that problem. This video presents IBM's sure-thing solution, rolled out in 1977. This was the "one big thing" that would make IBM's rapidly developing smaller competitors irrelevant.

Today's question; What problems of today are we sure we have solved with the "one big thing"? How brilliant will our silver bullet solutions look in 30 years? Should we seek and weigh other potential solutions?

Discuss amongst yourselves.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Why I'm Really Glad I Don't Watch TV

2010-04-26T16:24:00.000-07:00

Or, How to Spend 150 Million Bucks and Not Run Away With an Election.

Billionaire meg Whitman has been reported to have spent $150 Million, (yes, that's $150,000,000) in her attempt to buy the office of the Governor of California.

This is insane for a minority Republican party primary race against Steve Poizner, another billionaire.

People who watch TV in California are well aware of this, since a typical weeknight evening TV viewer is now being treated to no less than 30 of her tasteful and charming ads, like this one. I have never been more glad I'm not one of them.

Acknowledging that Whitman has no substantial agenda to offer, I still can't believe what cheesy ads her campaign cranks out. All the money must be going for hooker and Bondage live "sex" shows for her campaign managers (aw,shucks, Republicans would never do that, or would they?)

What is interesting in the design of these ads is that Whitman's face rarely appears in her ads. Being raised properly by my momma, I will not speculate as to why this might be.

In response to this ad blitz, competing Republican billionaire Steve Poizner has come up many millions with of ads, but nothing compared to Whitman's ad blitz:

This ad really encapsulates the surreality of all this. "I know what's good for you, but, hey, don't take it form me, listen to the singing fish."

No need to worry about Republican billionaires taking over the world, now that the Self Appointed Guardians of We Common Folks have come to the rescue with their own TV ads. Actually, this is my favorite of all the campaign ads I've seen.

Maybe once Jerry Brown, the presumptive Democratic candidate stops rolling on the floor laughing, he can get his act in gear by signing Jello Biafra. Schwarzenegger might be married to a live Kennedy, but in my book, that doesn't even hold a candle to having a Dead Kennedy song about you.

I say,

Gerry for Governor, CALIFORNIA UBER ALIS!

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.